I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!! *Starts slapping himself until he wakes up*

WWSS if he did wake up... In the middle of a zombie apocalypse!(No new eps+insomnia+overly creative-slash-active imagination+stress+perfectionist personality=one crazy fanguin)

Clearly I don't know what's worse, me talking to myself while in the midst of a zombie apocalypse or that this all happened all of sudden :/

WWSS if he woke up holding a baby otter beside his bed?

-_- I'm not even gonna ask...

WWSS if the otter called him Dada and called Marlene Mama when she walked in?

When did this happen!?!?!?
Marlene: Oh, you remember. It was when we-
Skipper: Spare me the details! ....Private's present. *points to Private*

(Awkwarrrrrdd....XD)

WWSS if Julien was the Godfather? (Oh dear...XD)

Was I in a comma induced state when this happened? :/

Private: Um no, Kowalski hit you on the head with frying pan after you found out we were out of coffee

Skipper: What? D:<

WWSS if they replaced all of the coffee in the HQ with Lemon Juice?

(^XDXD)

WHAT?! Why?! When did this happen!? You know how I get without my coffee! *twitch* *twitch* O.o

WWSS if Kowalski told him that they let the baby drink all of the coffee? (What? XD)

Baby Otter: *running around in circles, bouncing off of walls, and kicking random humans in the shins* XD

Look what you guys did, now he's having a coffee explosion, just like the Private when he has winkies

Kowalski: Awwww he's just like you when you have your coffee? :D

*Skipper angrily stares back at Kowalski*

Kowalski: O__O

WWSS if the baby otter was being transferred to Hoboken?

(no posts in over a month o_e lemme fix that :D)
That flea ridden death trap! We can't let a child go there! Move out men and Marlene!
WWSS if it was to late!
(NOO NOT THE BABY DX)

NOOOOOO!!! Juilen! I'm gonna kill you! D:<
KJ: What did I do?!
Skipper: I dunno. You're just the easiest to blame.

WWSS if he found out that it really WAS Julien's fault?

*Eye twitch* [CENSORED] *Goes 'Revenge' on Julien* (And since I'm pretty sure you guys have no idea what I'm talking about, go on Youtube, search 'revenge minecraft parody', and watch the video uploaded by CaptainSparklez. The part I'm referring to is the fight scene with the creepers.)

WWSS if it was a mistake and the baby was sent back to Central Park while Julien was the one who ended up the one that got transferred to Hoboken?

Ringtail was sent to Hoboken?! :D
Zoo animals: T_T
S: I mean...oh...that's so awful...he will be missed and whatnot...*bad poker face*

WWSS if Hans was sent to the Central Park in his place?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [CENSORED] [MORE CENSORED] [EVEN MORE CENSORED] *Prepares to fight Hans*

WWSS if Hans and the baby otter became best friends since Hans doesn't know that Skipper has a kid, much less a penguin-otter hybrid kid?

BACK OFF OF MY BABY!!!!!! *tackles Hans*

WWSS if King Julien came back and tried to take his kid and name it JJ? O.o

*Eye twitch* *Grabs chainsaw and does to Julien's habitat* (You people just draw your own conclusions okay?)

WWSS if the baby saw what Skipper did to Julien and as a result was scarred for life?

Green eggs and bacon! I've corrupted another youngster! ...*sighs*.....just like Manfredi......

WWSS if Skipper found out i was married to Hans AND that there was a show about them? ( tough one.... i like giving challenges)

I think he'd go nuts and go around telling people it's a conspiracy and that it is somehow a brainwashing technique :P

WWSS if the whole zoo knew about secret obsession for Marlene by taking his diary and tried making copies of it for the price of $8.15 cents?

It's...It's...LOOK!!!!! SPACE SQUIDS!!!! *points and runs away while no one's looking* O.o

WWSS if he kissed Marlene and she slapped him, kissed him, then slapped him again? XD

AW COME ON! I'm a dashingly good looking penguin! doesn't that count for something?!

WWSS if Kico actually existed?

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!? *sigh* Fine...if it makes you two happy, I'll allow it. Just keep it professional please...>.<

WWSS if he found out that Rico broke his coffee mug?

Instubbornation soldier! INSTUBBORNATION!

WWSS if Kowalski cheated on Rico with Julien?

*Slaps Kowalski with a fish a million times*

WWSS if Julien confessed that he only annoyed Skipper because he liked him? (I swear... My imagination scares me sometimes.)

O_________________________________________­__O *throws self from window* (XD)

WWSS if Private slapped him? XD

>:O This is insurbordination solider!

WWSS if Private turned emo, Kowalski turned into an assasin, and Rico became suicidal? (Oh lordie... This ain't gonna be good...)

What are you men coming to?! I thought we were a team! This is not American! Snap out of it! *slaps soldiers* D:

(It's the best I got, I'm tired. XD)

WWSS if a random kitten came up to him and called him Dada? (XD)

O_________________O

WWSS if Max came up and the kitten called him Mama? (IMAGINATION. YOU ARE SCARING THE CRAP OUTTA ME.)

What the fish is going on here?! O____o

WWSS if his team came up to him and started calling him Dada, too?

*Starts slapping himself so he'll wake up*

WWSS if he woke up in Minecraft?

(My friend loves that game. :D)

What in the name of Lincoln's itchy beard is this?! How did I get here?! And more importantly, how do I get out!?!

(sorry, don't know much about the game to do anything funny.)

WWSS if Mort grew a foot fetish to his feet?

(I don't have an account, but I play using my brother's and it is freaking fun. Now if you excuse me, I have to go listen to Revenge again.)

O________________________o

WWSS if the other penguins got addicted to video games? (Like I am :P)

Negative! You three can't get addicted to video games! There's far more important things we have to deal with! >:( *takes video games away*
K/R/P: :(
S: Don't give me those baby blues! That's an order!

WWSS if Julien grew a foot fetish to his feet? (Pfft XD)

O____________________o

(This is now my standard answer to all the weird craps that happens.)

WWSS if he was forced to listen to very horrible heavy metal?

*holds flippers over earholes* AHH! Make it stop!! Rico! Blow it up! Please!!!

WWSS if Rico claimed to have lost all of his weapons?

WHAT?! Are you serious?! >:O

WWSS if he had to explain the concept of yaoi pairings to Private?

S: Well, Private...Uh...
P: What are they, Skipper? :/
S: I'll tell you when you're older...

(I honestly don't know how he'd respond to that. Especially to Private.)

WWSS if Julien accused him of stealing his crown?

KJ: You! *points at Skipper* You stole my kingly crown! I saw you! >:(
S: Oh, really? Then why is it on your head? T_T
KJ: *looks head and sees crown* O.O ... (XD)

WWSS if Marlene wanted to paint a portrait of him?

Skipper: Oh, really? *looks to his men* Told you my good looks were irresistible. ;)
Kowalski/Rico/Private: T_T
Marlene: Nah, I just felt like painting something. :P

WWSS if he found out that Private had a secret winkie stash?

S: PRIVATE! >:( How many times did I tell you not to hide Winkies boxes from me? All that sugar goes right into your brain!
P: I'm s-sorry Skipper... But Rico kept eating all of them! >:(
R: O.O ... Sowwy.

WWSS if Julien imitated every single thing he did?

Skipper: Alright, men. Get ready to beat our zoo record. >:)
KJ: *pops up from behind him* Alright, men. Get ready to beat our zoo record. >:)
Skipper: Ringtail, you stop that this instant! >:O
KJ: Ringtail, you stop that this instant! >:O
Skipper: >=( Shut up, you half-wit!
KJ: >=( Shut up, you half-wit!
Skipper: T_T...Rico.
KJ: T_T...Ric--*Rico knocks him out*

WWSS if he caught Julien trying to "woo" Marlene? XD

S: RINGTAIL! What are you.. doing?! >:|
KJ: Oh me? I'm just talking to my new queen... ;)
M: What! >:(
KJ: ...But I didn't know you had a crush on her, too. *nudges Skipper*
M: *blushes* ._.
S: I don't!

(Lame I know. XD But I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep now. See ya! ^_^)

WWSS if Marlene hugged him?

Marlene: *hugs Skipper* :)
Skipper: O.O...*awkwardly hugs back* What's this for?
Marlene: Do I need a reason?
Skipper: Nah. :)

WWSS if he saw Alice staring at him for no reason? O_O

S: *notices Alice* O.e ...What? ...What do you want?!
A: ... *still staring*
S: *walks away* e_e ...Humans...

WWSS if he saw his teammates, Marlene and the lemurs partying in the HQ?

Skipper: HEY! My HQ is NOT for partying! >:O
Marlene: C'mon, Skipper! Have a little fun!
KJ: Loosen up, man!
Skipper: No! Now, stop this instant! >:|
Kowalski: But it's fun!
Skipper: This is insubordination, soldiers!
Marlene: *makes cute face* Pleeeeease?
Skipper: Oh, not the eyes! *tries to look away* Ugh! Fine. *secretly curses Marlene's good looks* (XD)

WWSS if Mort offered him a potato?

M: Potato? :D *offers potato*
S: Uhh... No, thanks...
M: *sad face* 8(
S: Oh, for the love of-- gimme that. *takes potato*
M: :D Yay! :D

WWSS if he found out that Kowalski had recorded his "dance" in "Needle Point" and was showing it to everyone in the Zoo?

S: *uses amnesia spray on everyone*
*one week later*
K: *doing push ups and pants* Why have you been making me do so much extra training lately?
S: *slaps him* Because it's what keeps you sharp!

WWSS if Kitka came back?

S: Kitka! O.o Uhh..... this is an awkward situation... What are you doing here?
K: I came back for you, Skipper. *tries to hug him*
S: *takes a step back* Uh, you do remember that we broke up, right? o.e I told you we should see otter people--I mean-- other people.

WWSS if Julien wrote "I <3 Marlene" on his forehead with a permanent marker while he was sleeping? (XD)

S: *wakes up and gets coffee*
K: *snickers*
S: What are you snickering about?
K: Oh, nothing......Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell us, Skipper? *snickers more*
S: No...Why would you-- *sees reflection in coffee machine* O_________O.................. *grabs a crowbar and leaves HQ*

(The rest of this scene is PG-13.) XD

WWSS if Mort started talking like Kowalski?

Mort: *smartass talk* (Too lazy to think of something XD)
Skipper: O.O How...? Kowalski! Did you do anything to Sad Eyes?
Kowalski: No, sir. Why? :\
M: ...And that's how I artichoked a ukulele hamster. :D
S: T_T Nevermind.

WWSS if Marlene wanted to watch a romantic movie with him? (XD)

S: Well, romance isn't exactly my thing.
M: Please, Skipper? I need someone to be there when I cry.
S: ...Alright, I'm in.

WWSS if Kowalski used the Luv-U-Laser on him and Marlene?

K: *shots Marlene and Skipper with Luv-U-Laser* He-heh...
M: *stares dreamily at Skipper* Oh, you're so hot, Skippy! <3 *giggles*
S: *blushes* O.O W-w-what? Marlene? What has gotten into you?!
M: *jumps on Skipper and starts kissing him all over his face* <3
S: O.O M-Marlene! Not in front of my soldiers!
K: *to Skipper* I see you're kinda busy now... You can thank me later. ;)
S: Thank you for WHAT! >:(
K: O.O Uh, nothing!

WWSS if he had to deal with this lovesick Marlene? (XD I want to see an episode like this. XD)

S: M-Marlene, this isn't you! Snap out of it!
M: *wraps arms around Skipper's neck* Snap out of what? ;)
S: O_O.....*gulps*....
M: *leans in for kiss*
S: *faints*

WWSS if Julien insisted that Marlene was his queen?