TREVOR AS VEGETA:
SCENE 1:
Trevor: (angry, but around little childrun, so avoids swearing) SON OF A GUM-CHEWING FUNK MONSTER! WHY THE FRUIT DOES ALL THIS FUNNY STUFF HAPPEN TO ME?! FORGET MY LIFE ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY MISERABLE FAILING CLODS LIKE THIS WHOLE WORLD JUST LIKES TO BEND ME OVER AND FIND ME IN THE ALPS LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF SHLOP RECEPTACLE! WELL AS FAR AS I CARE, THESE MISERABLE COWS CAN HAVE A FANCY BARBECUE WITH A GODDAMN PIG!
SCENE 2:
Trevor: I'M SO RAGED WAIT NOW!
Franklin: (sarcastally) What else is new?
Trevor: (blasted by sudden spot lights) AAH! MY RAGE HAS BLINDED ME!
SCENE 3:
NORTH YANKTON:
Michael: (weakly) Hey, T... I'm shot.
Trevor: Townley, you idiot. What are you doing?
Michael: Dying... mostly.
Trevor: Idiot.
SCENE 4:
Trevor: HAH! your dad's dead!
???: So's yours!
Trevor: HAH!
SCENE 5:
Trevor: You naked creeps, you have any idea who I am!?
Alturists: ALL HAIL KING PHILLIPS!
Trevor: ... Well good, glad we have that settled.
Alturist Leader: It has been too many years, Mr Phillips. Or should I say... (kneels) ...King Phillips.
Trevor: (eyes widen as the words "King" echoes in his mind) Never in my life have I needed something so much and never known until I received it.
SCENE 6:
Steve Heines: Fuck you Trevor!
Trevor: (now smiling) ...Tell me something, which is your favorite internal organ?
Heines: What a odd question. But if I had to choose I guess I have to say my liver. (Trevor's shadow approaches Heines)
(Steve's scream is heard off-screen. Trevor is seen walking past the two soldiers.)
Trevor: (thinking) You know, it's the simple things in life.
SCENE 7:
Trevor: I thought I was you king!?
Alturist: We lied.. Your our bitch!
Trevor: Bitch?
Alturist Leader: Yes, (points at Trevor) you're going to be my BITCH! I'm going to sell you for a cigarette- but not before I violate you, because you're my BI-
Carly: (walking by, when she sees the Alturist camp explode violently)
SCENE 8:
Trevor: (watching TV)
ACTOR 1: Hey, man. Is that the last Hetap?
ACTOR 2: Yeah, and it's all mine! (a gunshot is heard) Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Why?! (another gunshot is heard)
NARRATOR: Hetap. Come on, (low, evil voice) you've killed for less.
Trevor: (thinking) That's not UNtrue...
SCENE 9
Amanda: We don't have that here, we have soap!
Trever: (off view, in bathroom) What the hell is soap?
Amanda: It's that yellow block made of animal fat!
Trevor: (off view) That sounds AWESOME! (eats bar of soap, splutters) This tastes NOTHING like what you just said!
LAMAR AS GOKU:
Fits, cause Lamar isn't the brightest light in the sky..
SCENE 1:
Unnamed man: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you Lamar.
Lamer: ... What?
Unamed Man: And I'm here to kill you.
Lamar: ... What?
Unamed Man: For what you did to me.
Lamar: ... What?
Unamed man: Yooouuu... Hit your head as a child, didn't you?
(flashback of Lamer banging his head as a baby)
Lamar: ... What?
SCENE 2:
Lamar: (getting beat up) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (stomped on) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs! I think you broke my... Mmmmmm ribs.
SCENE 3:
Lamar: (holding D in full nelson) I got him! Ready Stretch!
Stretch: (holding sniper) Ready!
Lamar: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I'm right behind him!
Stretch: Oh sure; I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you'll ever get!
(scene shifts to Lamar as Stretch laughs evilly offscreen)
Lamar: (not catching on to Stretch's evil intention) Well, okay. As long as we're clear on that.
SCENE 4:
Franklin: How you feeling Lamar?
Lamar: (laying in a hospital bed) Well, the doctor say I should be in here for a couple of months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage... Oh, hey Frank. When did you get here?
SCENE 5:
Lamar: (walking around in a ship) This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
Ship owner: There is no button like that. I never even considered that.
Lamar: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake up in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great... Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge
Ship owner: Dammit, there is no muffin button!
Lamar: Darn. So, is it ready to take off then, Dr. Briefs?
Dr Briefs: Goodness no! I still have to install the cappuccino machine!
Lamar: But... But I don't even drink coffee!
Dr Briefs: It's not coffee, Lamar, it's cappuccino. Now stay here; I need to grab the parts from my shop. Make sure not to touch anything, like the gravity controls. (points firmly at start button) Or the Start button... The Start button... Don't touch (Lamar has a blank face as the man is saying this)... the Start button... Now I'll be right back. (leaves the ship)
Lamar: Okey Dokey... (once the man leaves) I wonder if THIS is is the muffin button. (pushes the Start button, causing the ship to takeoff into space).
SCENE 6:
Dr Briefs: Mr Davis, You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates fo... (notices Lamar holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?
Lamar: Muffin button.
DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...
Lamar: ... Then where did I get this muffin?
DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Lamar. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.
Lamar: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!
DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!
Lamar: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!
DR. BRIEFS: Lamar wai-!
(Lamar pushes a button to turn off the TV)
Lamar: ... I like his mustache.
SCENE 7:
Franklin: Isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?
Lamar: Nope. That's rabies.
Franklin: Actually Lamar, you contract rabies when you're bitten by an animal with the disease.
Lamar: Silly Franklin. Animals don't eat people. People eat animals. Silly Franklin.
Franklin: ...... I can't believe I'm stuck with you.
SCENE 8:
Franklin: N-No. That was a rhetorical question.
Lamar: And I gave you a rhetorical answer.
SCENE 9:
Ivory: Want to play a game?
Lamar: ....................... Yes
Ivory: It's called.. Die.
Lamar: Oh wow, sounds fun.
Ivory: Yes, I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.
Lamar: (horrified) What? Why would you drown puppies?
Ivory: Because they're cute and cuddly.
Lamar: Are... You coming on to me?
SCENE 1:
Trevor: (angry, but around little childrun, so avoids swearing) SON OF A GUM-CHEWING FUNK MONSTER! WHY THE FRUIT DOES ALL THIS FUNNY STUFF HAPPEN TO ME?! FORGET MY LIFE ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY MISERABLE FAILING CLODS LIKE THIS WHOLE WORLD JUST LIKES TO BEND ME OVER AND FIND ME IN THE ALPS LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF SHLOP RECEPTACLE! WELL AS FAR AS I CARE, THESE MISERABLE COWS CAN HAVE A FANCY BARBECUE WITH A GODDAMN PIG!
SCENE 2:
Trevor: I'M SO RAGED WAIT NOW!
Franklin: (sarcastally) What else is new?
Trevor: (blasted by sudden spot lights) AAH! MY RAGE HAS BLINDED ME!
SCENE 3:
NORTH YANKTON:
Michael: (weakly) Hey, T... I'm shot.
Trevor: Townley, you idiot. What are you doing?
Michael: Dying... mostly.
Trevor: Idiot.
SCENE 4:
Trevor: HAH! your dad's dead!
???: So's yours!
Trevor: HAH!
SCENE 5:
Trevor: You naked creeps, you have any idea who I am!?
Alturists: ALL HAIL KING PHILLIPS!
Trevor: ... Well good, glad we have that settled.
Alturist Leader: It has been too many years, Mr Phillips. Or should I say... (kneels) ...King Phillips.
Trevor: (eyes widen as the words "King" echoes in his mind) Never in my life have I needed something so much and never known until I received it.
SCENE 6:
Steve Heines: Fuck you Trevor!
Trevor: (now smiling) ...Tell me something, which is your favorite internal organ?
Heines: What a odd question. But if I had to choose I guess I have to say my liver. (Trevor's shadow approaches Heines)
(Steve's scream is heard off-screen. Trevor is seen walking past the two soldiers.)
Trevor: (thinking) You know, it's the simple things in life.
SCENE 7:
Trevor: I thought I was you king!?
Alturist: We lied.. Your our bitch!
Trevor: Bitch?
Alturist Leader: Yes, (points at Trevor) you're going to be my BITCH! I'm going to sell you for a cigarette- but not before I violate you, because you're my BI-
Carly: (walking by, when she sees the Alturist camp explode violently)
SCENE 8:
Trevor: (watching TV)
ACTOR 1: Hey, man. Is that the last Hetap?
ACTOR 2: Yeah, and it's all mine! (a gunshot is heard) Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Why?! (another gunshot is heard)
NARRATOR: Hetap. Come on, (low, evil voice) you've killed for less.
Trevor: (thinking) That's not UNtrue...
SCENE 9
Amanda: We don't have that here, we have soap!
Trever: (off view, in bathroom) What the hell is soap?
Amanda: It's that yellow block made of animal fat!
Trevor: (off view) That sounds AWESOME! (eats bar of soap, splutters) This tastes NOTHING like what you just said!
LAMAR AS GOKU:
Fits, cause Lamar isn't the brightest light in the sky..
SCENE 1:
Unnamed man: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you Lamar.
Lamer: ... What?
Unamed Man: And I'm here to kill you.
Lamar: ... What?
Unamed Man: For what you did to me.
Lamar: ... What?
Unamed man: Yooouuu... Hit your head as a child, didn't you?
(flashback of Lamer banging his head as a baby)
Lamar: ... What?
SCENE 2:
Lamar: (getting beat up) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (stomped on) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs! I think you broke my... Mmmmmm ribs.
SCENE 3:
Lamar: (holding D in full nelson) I got him! Ready Stretch!
Stretch: (holding sniper) Ready!
Lamar: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I'm right behind him!
Stretch: Oh sure; I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you'll ever get!
(scene shifts to Lamar as Stretch laughs evilly offscreen)
Lamar: (not catching on to Stretch's evil intention) Well, okay. As long as we're clear on that.
SCENE 4:
Franklin: How you feeling Lamar?
Lamar: (laying in a hospital bed) Well, the doctor say I should be in here for a couple of months, what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs, and the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage... Oh, hey Frank. When did you get here?
SCENE 5:
Lamar: (walking around in a ship) This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
Ship owner: There is no button like that. I never even considered that.
Lamar: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake up in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great... Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge
Ship owner: Dammit, there is no muffin button!
Lamar: Darn. So, is it ready to take off then, Dr. Briefs?
Dr Briefs: Goodness no! I still have to install the cappuccino machine!
Lamar: But... But I don't even drink coffee!
Dr Briefs: It's not coffee, Lamar, it's cappuccino. Now stay here; I need to grab the parts from my shop. Make sure not to touch anything, like the gravity controls. (points firmly at start button) Or the Start button... The Start button... Don't touch (Lamar has a blank face as the man is saying this)... the Start button... Now I'll be right back. (leaves the ship)
Lamar: Okey Dokey... (once the man leaves) I wonder if THIS is is the muffin button. (pushes the Start button, causing the ship to takeoff into space).
SCENE 6:
Dr Briefs: Mr Davis, You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates fo... (notices Lamar holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?
Lamar: Muffin button.
DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...
Lamar: ... Then where did I get this muffin?
DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Lamar. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.
Lamar: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!
DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!
Lamar: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!
DR. BRIEFS: Lamar wai-!
(Lamar pushes a button to turn off the TV)
Lamar: ... I like his mustache.
SCENE 7:
Franklin: Isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?
Lamar: Nope. That's rabies.
Franklin: Actually Lamar, you contract rabies when you're bitten by an animal with the disease.
Lamar: Silly Franklin. Animals don't eat people. People eat animals. Silly Franklin.
Franklin: ...... I can't believe I'm stuck with you.
SCENE 8:
Franklin: N-No. That was a rhetorical question.
Lamar: And I gave you a rhetorical answer.
SCENE 9:
Ivory: Want to play a game?
Lamar: ....................... Yes
Ivory: It's called.. Die.
Lamar: Oh wow, sounds fun.
Ivory: Yes, I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.
Lamar: (horrified) What? Why would you drown puppies?
Ivory: Because they're cute and cuddly.
Lamar: Are... You coming on to me?