Song: link
Mike: Heeey.
Sean: What do you want Fonzi?
Mike: Ladies. *Blows his horn*
Rosie: *Pops up in front of him*
Mike: Uuuhhh....
Sean: Too much for you to handle? *Chuckles as he leaves*
Snowflake: What is it with that red diesel? Blowing his horn just to attract steam engines? Anyways, I'm Snowflake from Ponies On The Rails, and I'll be your hostess tonight. We're finishing off this segment of the S.S.S.S with another episode of On The Block, and The Adventures of Rainbow Dash. Enjoy.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Why are we always standing in front of the exact same house?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Don't ask me. Ask the director.
Master Sword: He's not even here.
Tom: Why not?
Master Sword: He got arrested for drunk driving, and attacking a police officer, thinking it was a zombie panda.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Strange.... very very strange. Today's crossover parody, Barbie: Life In The Russian Front.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: We are combining Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse with Call Of Duty.
Tom: Instead of f**king around with fashion, and all that bullshit, Barbie learns how to kill others.
Master Sword: For the boys that like Barbie, you don't have to worry about being made fun of. Barbie is now a soldier that kicks ass.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Speaking of Barbie, and ass, you wanna know what I really like about her?
Master Sword: Nope.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Alright. Let's get this C.P. started.
Barbie: Life In The Russian Front
Starring
Annie as Barbie
Master Sword as Ken
Saten Twist as Aleksandr Sokolov
Cosmic Rainbow as Sargent Puskov
Tom Foolery as Russian Colonel
Mortomis as Russian Soldier
Stalliongrad, 1942. Barbie, and her boyfriend have been enlisted in the Russian army to stop the German invasion. As usual, Barbie gets excited for no reason. She is on a rowboat, being rowed by ten ponies, and mist rises from the water.
Barbie: Oh my god, I'm so excited, I wanna kill so many Nazis, I bet I can win this game.
Aleksandr Sokolov: Will you shut up? We need to be quiet.
Barbie: Ooh, quiet. I can do that..... DEATH TO TRAITORS!!
Audience: *Laughing*
The boat was getting closer to Stalliongrad.
Russian Colonel: Welcome to Stalliongrad. You're about to begin the greatest counter attack anypony has ever witnessed. Especially since it's the first one ever seen in a crossover parody.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Colonel: The Germans have lost hundreds of planes, and tanks.
Nazi Pilot: *Flying an airplane*
Russian Colonel: They have advanced here over lots of mountains, and even over their dead bodies.
Ken: *Sees airplane*
Russian Soldier: Sir, enemy airplane behind you!
Russian Colonel: Do not interrupt my speech!
Audience: *Laughing*
Nazi Pilot: *Shoots the boat*
Russian Colonel: They may fire all the bullets they have at us, but they will not defeat us, because we will kill them before they shoot those bullets at us.
Nazi Pilot: *Drops bomb*
Ken: *Feels boat shake, and falls off*
Russian Colonel: *Points at Ken* He is a traitor that jumped off!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aleksandr Sokolov: He fell off.
Russian Colonel: *Shoots Ken*
Barbie: Ken! *Angry at the Colonel* You shot my boyfriend!
Russian Colonel: Now I can be your boyfriend.
Barbie: I'd rather date Katy Perry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Soldier: She's probably a lesbian!
Russian Colonel: She must die. *Shoots Barbie*
The boat arrived at the dock.
Sargent Puskov: What happened?
Russian Colonel: Too much drama. Get me a bottle of vodka.
Sargent Puskov: We ran out.
Russian Colonel: Then you are a traitor.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Colonel: *Shoots Sargent Puskov*
Aleksandr Sokolov: I'm pretty sure I had to follow him.
Russian Colonel: Then that makes you a traitor.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Colonel: *Shoots Aleksandr*
Russian Soldier: Sir, please stop shooting us.
Russian Colonel: Traitor. *Shoots Russian Soldier*
Audience: *Laughing*
And so, the colonel went around shooting everyone he saw, claiming that they were traitors.
The End
On the next part of this episode
Sunny, and Double Scoop run a race.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 12: Jack Howitzer (A Grand Theft Auto Reference)
Sunny: *Walks to a track with Double Scoop*
Double Scoop: It's been years since I ran on this track.
Sunny: You've been here before?
Double Scoop: Oh no, I was just trying to create a flashback just for the hell of it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: But it has been a long time since I have run around one of these things.
Sunny: Then in that case, I should be able to beat you.
Double Scoop: Now just because I haven't run around a racetrack in a while doesn't mean I can't be as good as you.
Sunny: Sure it does. It's called retirement.
Double Scoop: I hate retirement. They have crappy food there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Are we gonna race, or are we gonna talk about stuff?
Double Scoop: Can't we do both?
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Double Scoop, and Sunny were ready to race each other on hoof.
Double Scoop: Before we race, it's time to use an overused rock & roll song from the 70's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Song: link
Double Scoop, and Sunny were standing right next to each other behind the starting line.
Double Scoop: You ready?
Sunny: Yeah.
Double Scoop: Go! *Runs past starting line*
Sunny: *Gets in front of Double Scoop*
Double Scoop: *Getting close to Sunny*
Sunny: You're not going to catch up to me!
Double Scoop: Save it for when I pass you.
As they began to turn left, Double Scoop passed Sunny.
Sunny: *Shocked, but keeps running*
Double Scoop: *Goes around the entire left turn*
Sunny: you've gotta be kidding me. *Runs faster, but still can't catch up to Double Scoop*
As Double Scoop starting going on the second left turn, he decided to sing the song.
Double Scoop: Rising up. Back on my hooves. Disvaslagh, divaslaghla.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: What's the f**king lyrics to this song? I don't know any of them, damnit!
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: I just passed, the finish line. I beat my friend Sunny. Now I'm going to keep running nonstop. Until I recreate a scene.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Yes this, scene is from Rocky when he runs up the stairs, and that's all the way in Fillydelphia.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: I will, not stop running until I get my ass there, and I don't know why I was singing, in the first place.
Double Scoop was running on a treadmill while a green screen showed a bunch of pictures in the background.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Running through a field of grass, then the green changes to a forest. The next scene on the green screen shows Double Scoop running on the racetrack, so it looks like he's racing himself.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Next, he's running on a highway. He's right next to a white SUV*
SUV Pony: *Crashes into another car, and the green screen stops moving, so it looks like Double Scoop is running in place*
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Running on top of a train, then the green screen switches to a river, making it look like Double Scoop is running on water*
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Looks to the left, and sees that the green screen is not working, so he stops the treadmill, and the song turns off* Come on!! I was supposed to reach Fillydelphia!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pony: Sorry man. Green screen ain't working.
Double Scoop: Well get it fixed!
The green screen falls down.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Forget it. Let's get those skits started.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up is a new skit called Golfing.
Golfing
Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell
A golf course was just constructed in Ponyville. Otis, and Chip were playing against each other.
Chip: Watch this. I'm gonna hit the ball with the 3 wood, and it's gonna hit the flag pole, and go right into the hole.
Otis: But we're already on the fairway, and you'll just hit the ball out of bounds.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chip: Just watch me! *Grabs 3 wood, and hits the ball*
The ball rocketed to the flagpole. It hit the pole, and fell into the hole.
Audience: *Cheering*
Chip: Beat that if you will.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Okay, watch this. *Hits ball that ricochets off of a tree, and goes very high into the air. It lands into the hole*
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Chip: Okay, I'm somewhat impressed. *Turns around, and rips his golf club in half*
Audience: *Laughing*
They finished the rest of the game, then went to the clubhouse.
Mitchell: So I tell him that if he ever comes into my bar again-
Otis & Chip: *Enter clubhouse*
Mitchell: Hi guys.
Otis: Talking to yourself again Mitch?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mitchell: A moment ago, somepony was here.
Chip: Well now the only ponies in here are you, me, and Otis.
Mitchell: *Looks around* I wonder how that happened.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: I don't know. Maybe they left?
Mitchell: That seems logical.
Audience: *Laughing*
Just then, the two female golfers Casey, and Elena walked into the clubhouse.
Otis: Hey.
Chip: Hey yourself, I'm asking them out.
Casey: *Giggles*
Elena: There's two of us, and two of you. Why don't we double date?
Otis: I'm getting Elena!
Chip: No, I want Elena.
Otis: Why can't I have her?
Chip: Because Tom, you've been dating her in every other skit!
Otis: Did you just call me Tom?
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: Cut!!
Caddy & Olson: *Walk onto stage* We didn't get to say any of our lines!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: Just go back into position.
Otis: What the hell were you thinking not calling me by my character's name?!
Chip: I'm sorry, it was an accident! They happen.
Elena: But he is right, you do date my character in every skit we have.
Otis: *Points at the director* Blame this c**t!
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: He got drunk, and thought there was a zombie panda, but he was just attacking a police officer!
Director: What does that have to do with what she told you?
Otis: You are making this show go downhill, and we aren't even finished with season 1 yet!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: This skit has gone into a complete disaster. We will try this again in season 2.
Chip: If there is a season 2.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next is The Movie Studio
The Movie Studio
Starring
Blaze as Director Nick
Astrel Sky as Roxy
Saten Twist as Connor
Tom Foolery as Louis
Cosmic Rainbow as Tobias "Toby"
Sunny as Alinah
Double Scoop as Mason
And Aina as Leah
Tobias, Louis, and Leah were working together on one scene for a movie taking place in the wild west.
Alinah: *Brings costume cart onto stage*
Director Nick: Thanks Alinah. Now do yourself a favor, and get yourself along with that clothing out of the way. You're in the shot.
Alinah: I can't even make one cameo?
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Get out of the shot, or you're fired.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alinah: *Walks out of camera shot with costume cart*
Director Nick: Alright now. Rolling Banjo..
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Scene 4, take 1. Action!
The power went out, and everything turned off.
Louis: Who turned off the lights? I can't see a thing!
Director Nick: Cut!
The power turned back on.
Leah: That was weird.
Tobias: You think everything is weird.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Let's try this again everypony. Rolling Banjo, scene 4, take 2. Action!
The power went out again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: CUT!!
The power turned back on.
Director Nick: wait a minute. Action! *Sees the power turn off* Cut! *Sees the power turn back on*
Audience: *Laughing*
Louis: Sir, you may have some magic power here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: No, it's just some coincedence. Let's try filming the next scene, huh? Rolling Banjo, scene 4, take 3. Action!
The power went out again.
Director Nick: i don't believe this, CUT!!
The power turned back on.
Tobias: I believe that Louie maybe correct here.
Louis: Of course I am.
Director Nick: Alright, one more time, then we're going down to the electric company, and find out what the matter is. Rolling Banjo, scene 4, take 4. Action!
The power went out again.
Director Nick: i don't believe this, CUT!! *Realizes the power is not on* I said cut!!
Audience: *Laughing*
The power turned back on.
Director Nick: There we go.
But the power went off once again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Oh come on. I didn't even say action.
Then the power went on again.
Director Nick: Okay, let's find out what's happening with the electricity.
Louis: I'll get the guns.
Tobias: And I'll get the torches.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, it's Bodyshop Ponies.
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as Olive
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
Mr. Beddler was talking to all of his employees.
Edwina: Who saw Anchorman 2?
Gary: I did. Great movie.
Tim: I hated it. I thought Into The Woods was better.
Audience: *Booing*
Tim: WHAT?!!
Gary: Into The Woods is gay.
Audience: *Cheering*
Gary: *Points hoof into the air* I have saved the show!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Okay everypony, shut up.
Ponies: *Listening to Mr. Beddler*
Mr. Beddler: It's been a long time since we have made an appearance.
Wheel Bearing: What are you talking about?
Mr. Beddler: Apparently, we're in a skit for this comedy show, but things have been going downhill.
Cutlass Supreme: What hill are you talking about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: I'm not talking about any hill, it's just an expression.
Danielle: What's an expression?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: If anypony asks me anymore stupid questions, you'll be fired.
Gary: Just continue on with what you were saying.
Mr. Beddler: Okay. Things are not going good for us. Our shop is running out of business.
Tim: We can't run out of business! We've got a show to do!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Too bad. We are going out of business. Oh, and one more thing. There's one sound that ponies constantly make when something goes wrong, like a car skidding across something, or if you're not using a DA sander properly.
Danielle: *Blushes*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: If you here that noise, please tell me so we can edit it out of the video. It's been used too much, and it needs to stop.
But the noise Mr. Beddler was talking about was heard: www.mediafire.com/listen/odyspw55tmz19p7/brakes+squeal.mp3
It went on for two seconds.
Gary: Sir, I don't know what you're talking about, but I heard your noise.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: What could it be this time?
Pony on drugs: *Enters bodyshop* yo. where's the guy that fixes cars?
Tim: We're here.
Pony on drugs: where's here?
Gary: Right in front of you.
Pony on drugs: where is that located?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Get him out of here.
Wheel Bearing: *Escorts drug pony out of shop* What happened before you entered the shop?
Pony on drugs: what are you talking about?
Audience: *Light chuckle*
Wheel Bearing: We heard this screeching noise, and I was wondering if you knew what it was.
Pony on drugs: oh, you mean this? *Holds his mouth open, and makes the noise for three seconds*
Audience: *Laughing*
Wheel Bearing: How did you do that?
Pony on drugs: do what?
Audience: *Laughing*
Wheel Bearing: Never mind. *Walks away*
Pony on drugs: *Turns back to normal* What just happened? *Walks away*
The End
On the next part of this episode
Double Scoop makes a second attempt to run into Fillydelphia nonstop.
Master Sword, and Tom were walking down the street together.
Tom: So, how's everything going?
Master Sword: Not too bad. I got to see somepony drive a '67 Camareo. How about you?
Tom: Things are going fine for me. Except for my life on the computer. I keep getting these advertisements thanks to Spamdex.
Audience: *Small laughter*
Master Sword: What kind of advertisements do they send you?
Tom: Who cares? They're advertisements. They do not belong on the internet. It's not a place for commercials, it's a place for ponies to watch videos, play games, and post self portraits.
Master Sword: You mean selfies?
Tom: F**k that. Selfies R 4 sluts.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Meanwhile, Double Scoop was starting his second attempt on running to Fillydelphia nonstop.
Song: link
Double Scoop: Here we go.
Pony in car: *Passes Double Scoop* Don't stand in the middle of the street.
Double Scoop: Up your ass with a piece of glass.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Fillydelphia, here I come. *Starts to run*
It was in slow motion for thirteen seconds. When the speed returns to normal, Double Scoop runs past Tom, and Master Sword.
Tom: Where are you heading to Double Scoop?
Double Scoop: Fillydelphia!
Master Sword: Did he say Fillydelphia?
Tom: I hope not. Only an idiot would run to Fillydelphia nonstop.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Running in the middle of the street*
Double Scoop ran for days. When the sun shone, he ran. When it was night, he ran. When it was snowing, he ran. If he was on an icy sidewalk, he ran. It took him days to get to Fillydelphia, but he soon made it while running on the side of a highway, but he didn't stop running.
Double Scoop: Now to find that building with the steps on it so I can recreate that scene from Rocky. I won't stop running until I go up them.
Five hours later, Double Scoop reached the Rocky steps.
Double Scoop: *Running up the stairs*
Ponies: *Watching Double Scoop*
Pony 63: Is he gonna make it?
Pony 96: Maybe.
Double Scoop: *Continues running up the stairs*
Stop the song
Double Scoop: *Trips, and falls all the way down to the bottom*
Audience: *Booing*
Pony 66: *To Double Scoop* Way to go. You ruined the show. I'm not even part of it thankfully.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: What happened to me?
Pony 66: Stupid question.
Audience: *Laughing*
Song: link
Snowflake: The final show for tonight is The Adventures of Rainbow Dash.
Tom: *Falls down next to Snowflake*
Snowflake: What's with you? Go back to your show.
Tom: No! I'm tired of it. You showed two of our episodes tonight, and I need a break!
Snowflake: How would you like to host the next segment?
Tom: *Nods* You heard it from her folks, not me. *Runs away*
Snowflake: *Sighs* Let's start that episode.
Theme song: link
Seanthehedgehog Presents
The Adventures Of Rainbow Dash
Based off the TV Show, Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog
Starring the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash
Her German sidekick, Pinkie Pie
The main villian, Discord
Discord's sidekicks: Screwball, Karl, and Kyle
Episode 5
Discord's Dream Machine
We begin at Discord's base of operations, where he rebuilt Celestia's old castle in the everfree forest, for himself.
Screwball: I got something important to tell you.
Discord: Well spit it out! I can't wait all day.
Screwball: Rainbow Dash has a friend making this machine that can make dreams become a reality.
Discord: Hmm, interesting. Very interesting.
Screwball: So does this mean I get a promotion?
Discord: Promotion?! You should have brought that machine to me! I'm demoting you from Corporal to Private.
Screwball: Fine, I'll just leave. *Walking across trap door*
Discord: *Opens trap door*
Screwball: *Falls through trap door*
The main door opens, and Karl, and Kyle fall through into Discord's room.
Discord: Snooping as usual I see.
Karl: Not me! I didn't hear nothing about a friend of Rainbow Dash's making a dream machine thingy.
Kyle: Me neither. Especially the part about it making dreams become reality.
Discord: Silence! We must find the pony that created this machine, kidnap him, and steal the machine so that I can use it, and make Nightmares become reality. Then they can be ruled by me!
Karl: What if they don't want to be ruled by you?
Discord: SILENCE!!
Later
Rainbow Dash: *Checking power gauge* It says 100% Doctor Whooves.
Dr. Whooves: Excellent. Thanks you two for your help.
Rainbow Dash: No problem.
Pinkie Pie: Ja, no problem.
Dr. Whooves: Now, one of you can try it out.
Rainbow Dash: I'll try it out. *Goes to machine*
Dr. Whooves: *Puts part of machine on Dash's head*
Rainbow Dash: *Falling asleep*
Dr. Whooves: Alright, sooner or later, Rainbow Dash's dream will become a reality.
And soon, a dream cloud appeared, and Thomas The Tank Engine was there.
Pinkie Pie & Dr. Whooves: *Looking at Thomas*
Thomas: What? I was just pulling some freight cars, and then-
Dr. Whooves: *Turns off machine*
Rainbow Dash: *Wakes up*
Pinkie Pie: How come we saw Thomas The Tank Engine in your dream?
Rainbow Dash: What? I liked that show as a filly, didn't you?
Discord: *Appears* Oh, hello. This is your famous dream machine, correct?
Dr. Whooves: What do you want with it?
Discord: To make it mine. And your two friends, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie will be arrested.
Karl & Kyle: *Arresting Dr. Whooves, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie*
All three ponies were taken to Discord's headquarters.
Discord: Now, doctor. We can do this, the easy way, or the hard way.
Dr. Whooves: I won't make my machine turn nightmares into realities.
Discord: Either you do that, or we'll throw you into a jail cell with Rainbow Dash.
Dr. Whooves: Alright, fine. *Working on machine*
Discord: Oh, this will be so great.
Rainbow Dash: *Trying to open cell door*
Karl: Give up, it's locked. Face it Rainbow Dash, you won't save Equestria this time.
Pinkie Pie: Don't say that about her. She'll save Equestria whether you know it, or not.
Kyle: Hahahaha. Your doors are locked, and there's not way for you to get out.
Rainbow Dash: *Sees glass door in ceiling* Wanna bet? *Flies through glass door*
Karl: Where did she go?
Kyle: Don't ask me, I wasn't looking.
Rainbow Dash: *Flies through main entrance, and towards Karl* Let Pinkie Pie, and Dr. Whooves out now.
Karl: You're a smart mare, but you're not as strong as us.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, about that... I don't need to be as strong as you. *Grabs keys from Karl* Bye. *Flies away*
Kyle: Stop her!
Karl: But she's gone.
Kyle: Ugh. How are we going to be guards without those keys.
Karl: Lets get extra keys from the extra room.
As soon as they left the prison cells, Rainbow Dash returned.
Rainbow Dash: *Unlocks cell doors*
Pinkie Pie & Dr. Whooves: *Leaves prison cell*
Dr. Whooves: Now we must stop Discord.
Rainbow Dash: He's right over there.
Discord: *About to have nightmares* Oh, this will be great. As soon as these nightmares become a reality, I will rule all of Equestria.
Dr. Whooves: *Turns off machine*
Discord: *Wakes up* Hey, what was that for?
Rainbow Dash: Saving Equestria.
Dr. Whooves: *Taking machine away*
Discord: Oh no you don't.
Pinkie Pie: *Ties up Discord*
Rainbow Dash: Good work Pinkie. Now let's get outta here.
The three ponies escape, and Discord, is tied to a chair.
Karl & Kyle: *Arrives* Sir, why did you tie yourself to a chair?
Discord: I hate that pegasus.
The End.
Song: link
Snowflake: Thanks for watching. We hope you enjoyed our show tonight. We will not be here next week, but the week after. Tom isn't the only one that needs a break.
Mike: Heeey.
Sean: What do you want Fonzi?
Mike: Ladies. *Blows his horn*
Rosie: *Pops up in front of him*
Mike: Uuuhhh....
Sean: Too much for you to handle? *Chuckles as he leaves*
Snowflake: What is it with that red diesel? Blowing his horn just to attract steam engines? Anyways, I'm Snowflake from Ponies On The Rails, and I'll be your hostess tonight. We're finishing off this segment of the S.S.S.S with another episode of On The Block, and The Adventures of Rainbow Dash. Enjoy.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Why are we always standing in front of the exact same house?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Don't ask me. Ask the director.
Master Sword: He's not even here.
Tom: Why not?
Master Sword: He got arrested for drunk driving, and attacking a police officer, thinking it was a zombie panda.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Strange.... very very strange. Today's crossover parody, Barbie: Life In The Russian Front.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: We are combining Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse with Call Of Duty.
Tom: Instead of f**king around with fashion, and all that bullshit, Barbie learns how to kill others.
Master Sword: For the boys that like Barbie, you don't have to worry about being made fun of. Barbie is now a soldier that kicks ass.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Speaking of Barbie, and ass, you wanna know what I really like about her?
Master Sword: Nope.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Alright. Let's get this C.P. started.
Barbie: Life In The Russian Front
Starring
Annie as Barbie
Master Sword as Ken
Saten Twist as Aleksandr Sokolov
Cosmic Rainbow as Sargent Puskov
Tom Foolery as Russian Colonel
Mortomis as Russian Soldier
Stalliongrad, 1942. Barbie, and her boyfriend have been enlisted in the Russian army to stop the German invasion. As usual, Barbie gets excited for no reason. She is on a rowboat, being rowed by ten ponies, and mist rises from the water.
Barbie: Oh my god, I'm so excited, I wanna kill so many Nazis, I bet I can win this game.
Aleksandr Sokolov: Will you shut up? We need to be quiet.
Barbie: Ooh, quiet. I can do that..... DEATH TO TRAITORS!!
Audience: *Laughing*
The boat was getting closer to Stalliongrad.
Russian Colonel: Welcome to Stalliongrad. You're about to begin the greatest counter attack anypony has ever witnessed. Especially since it's the first one ever seen in a crossover parody.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Colonel: The Germans have lost hundreds of planes, and tanks.
Nazi Pilot: *Flying an airplane*
Russian Colonel: They have advanced here over lots of mountains, and even over their dead bodies.
Ken: *Sees airplane*
Russian Soldier: Sir, enemy airplane behind you!
Russian Colonel: Do not interrupt my speech!
Audience: *Laughing*
Nazi Pilot: *Shoots the boat*
Russian Colonel: They may fire all the bullets they have at us, but they will not defeat us, because we will kill them before they shoot those bullets at us.
Nazi Pilot: *Drops bomb*
Ken: *Feels boat shake, and falls off*
Russian Colonel: *Points at Ken* He is a traitor that jumped off!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aleksandr Sokolov: He fell off.
Russian Colonel: *Shoots Ken*
Barbie: Ken! *Angry at the Colonel* You shot my boyfriend!
Russian Colonel: Now I can be your boyfriend.
Barbie: I'd rather date Katy Perry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Soldier: She's probably a lesbian!
Russian Colonel: She must die. *Shoots Barbie*
The boat arrived at the dock.
Sargent Puskov: What happened?
Russian Colonel: Too much drama. Get me a bottle of vodka.
Sargent Puskov: We ran out.
Russian Colonel: Then you are a traitor.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Colonel: *Shoots Sargent Puskov*
Aleksandr Sokolov: I'm pretty sure I had to follow him.
Russian Colonel: Then that makes you a traitor.
Audience: *Laughing*
Russian Colonel: *Shoots Aleksandr*
Russian Soldier: Sir, please stop shooting us.
Russian Colonel: Traitor. *Shoots Russian Soldier*
Audience: *Laughing*
And so, the colonel went around shooting everyone he saw, claiming that they were traitors.
The End
On the next part of this episode
Sunny, and Double Scoop run a race.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 12: Jack Howitzer (A Grand Theft Auto Reference)
Sunny: *Walks to a track with Double Scoop*
Double Scoop: It's been years since I ran on this track.
Sunny: You've been here before?
Double Scoop: Oh no, I was just trying to create a flashback just for the hell of it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: But it has been a long time since I have run around one of these things.
Sunny: Then in that case, I should be able to beat you.
Double Scoop: Now just because I haven't run around a racetrack in a while doesn't mean I can't be as good as you.
Sunny: Sure it does. It's called retirement.
Double Scoop: I hate retirement. They have crappy food there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Are we gonna race, or are we gonna talk about stuff?
Double Scoop: Can't we do both?
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Double Scoop, and Sunny were ready to race each other on hoof.
Double Scoop: Before we race, it's time to use an overused rock & roll song from the 70's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Song: link
Double Scoop, and Sunny were standing right next to each other behind the starting line.
Double Scoop: You ready?
Sunny: Yeah.
Double Scoop: Go! *Runs past starting line*
Sunny: *Gets in front of Double Scoop*
Double Scoop: *Getting close to Sunny*
Sunny: You're not going to catch up to me!
Double Scoop: Save it for when I pass you.
As they began to turn left, Double Scoop passed Sunny.
Sunny: *Shocked, but keeps running*
Double Scoop: *Goes around the entire left turn*
Sunny: you've gotta be kidding me. *Runs faster, but still can't catch up to Double Scoop*
As Double Scoop starting going on the second left turn, he decided to sing the song.
Double Scoop: Rising up. Back on my hooves. Disvaslagh, divaslaghla.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: What's the f**king lyrics to this song? I don't know any of them, damnit!
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: I just passed, the finish line. I beat my friend Sunny. Now I'm going to keep running nonstop. Until I recreate a scene.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Yes this, scene is from Rocky when he runs up the stairs, and that's all the way in Fillydelphia.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: I will, not stop running until I get my ass there, and I don't know why I was singing, in the first place.
Double Scoop was running on a treadmill while a green screen showed a bunch of pictures in the background.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Running through a field of grass, then the green changes to a forest. The next scene on the green screen shows Double Scoop running on the racetrack, so it looks like he's racing himself.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Next, he's running on a highway. He's right next to a white SUV*
SUV Pony: *Crashes into another car, and the green screen stops moving, so it looks like Double Scoop is running in place*
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Running on top of a train, then the green screen switches to a river, making it look like Double Scoop is running on water*
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Looks to the left, and sees that the green screen is not working, so he stops the treadmill, and the song turns off* Come on!! I was supposed to reach Fillydelphia!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pony: Sorry man. Green screen ain't working.
Double Scoop: Well get it fixed!
The green screen falls down.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Forget it. Let's get those skits started.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up is a new skit called Golfing.
Golfing
Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell
A golf course was just constructed in Ponyville. Otis, and Chip were playing against each other.
Chip: Watch this. I'm gonna hit the ball with the 3 wood, and it's gonna hit the flag pole, and go right into the hole.
Otis: But we're already on the fairway, and you'll just hit the ball out of bounds.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chip: Just watch me! *Grabs 3 wood, and hits the ball*
The ball rocketed to the flagpole. It hit the pole, and fell into the hole.
Audience: *Cheering*
Chip: Beat that if you will.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Okay, watch this. *Hits ball that ricochets off of a tree, and goes very high into the air. It lands into the hole*
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Chip: Okay, I'm somewhat impressed. *Turns around, and rips his golf club in half*
Audience: *Laughing*
They finished the rest of the game, then went to the clubhouse.
Mitchell: So I tell him that if he ever comes into my bar again-
Otis & Chip: *Enter clubhouse*
Mitchell: Hi guys.
Otis: Talking to yourself again Mitch?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mitchell: A moment ago, somepony was here.
Chip: Well now the only ponies in here are you, me, and Otis.
Mitchell: *Looks around* I wonder how that happened.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: I don't know. Maybe they left?
Mitchell: That seems logical.
Audience: *Laughing*
Just then, the two female golfers Casey, and Elena walked into the clubhouse.
Otis: Hey.
Chip: Hey yourself, I'm asking them out.
Casey: *Giggles*
Elena: There's two of us, and two of you. Why don't we double date?
Otis: I'm getting Elena!
Chip: No, I want Elena.
Otis: Why can't I have her?
Chip: Because Tom, you've been dating her in every other skit!
Otis: Did you just call me Tom?
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: Cut!!
Caddy & Olson: *Walk onto stage* We didn't get to say any of our lines!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: Just go back into position.
Otis: What the hell were you thinking not calling me by my character's name?!
Chip: I'm sorry, it was an accident! They happen.
Elena: But he is right, you do date my character in every skit we have.
Otis: *Points at the director* Blame this c**t!
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: He got drunk, and thought there was a zombie panda, but he was just attacking a police officer!
Director: What does that have to do with what she told you?
Otis: You are making this show go downhill, and we aren't even finished with season 1 yet!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: This skit has gone into a complete disaster. We will try this again in season 2.
Chip: If there is a season 2.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next is The Movie Studio
The Movie Studio
Starring
Blaze as Director Nick
Astrel Sky as Roxy
Saten Twist as Connor
Tom Foolery as Louis
Cosmic Rainbow as Tobias "Toby"
Sunny as Alinah
Double Scoop as Mason
And Aina as Leah
Tobias, Louis, and Leah were working together on one scene for a movie taking place in the wild west.
Alinah: *Brings costume cart onto stage*
Director Nick: Thanks Alinah. Now do yourself a favor, and get yourself along with that clothing out of the way. You're in the shot.
Alinah: I can't even make one cameo?
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Get out of the shot, or you're fired.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alinah: *Walks out of camera shot with costume cart*
Director Nick: Alright now. Rolling Banjo..
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Scene 4, take 1. Action!
The power went out, and everything turned off.
Louis: Who turned off the lights? I can't see a thing!
Director Nick: Cut!
The power turned back on.
Leah: That was weird.
Tobias: You think everything is weird.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Let's try this again everypony. Rolling Banjo, scene 4, take 2. Action!
The power went out again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: CUT!!
The power turned back on.
Director Nick: wait a minute. Action! *Sees the power turn off* Cut! *Sees the power turn back on*
Audience: *Laughing*
Louis: Sir, you may have some magic power here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: No, it's just some coincedence. Let's try filming the next scene, huh? Rolling Banjo, scene 4, take 3. Action!
The power went out again.
Director Nick: i don't believe this, CUT!!
The power turned back on.
Tobias: I believe that Louie maybe correct here.
Louis: Of course I am.
Director Nick: Alright, one more time, then we're going down to the electric company, and find out what the matter is. Rolling Banjo, scene 4, take 4. Action!
The power went out again.
Director Nick: i don't believe this, CUT!! *Realizes the power is not on* I said cut!!
Audience: *Laughing*
The power turned back on.
Director Nick: There we go.
But the power went off once again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Director Nick: Oh come on. I didn't even say action.
Then the power went on again.
Director Nick: Okay, let's find out what's happening with the electricity.
Louis: I'll get the guns.
Tobias: And I'll get the torches.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, it's Bodyshop Ponies.
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as Olive
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
Mr. Beddler was talking to all of his employees.
Edwina: Who saw Anchorman 2?
Gary: I did. Great movie.
Tim: I hated it. I thought Into The Woods was better.
Audience: *Booing*
Tim: WHAT?!!
Gary: Into The Woods is gay.
Audience: *Cheering*
Gary: *Points hoof into the air* I have saved the show!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Okay everypony, shut up.
Ponies: *Listening to Mr. Beddler*
Mr. Beddler: It's been a long time since we have made an appearance.
Wheel Bearing: What are you talking about?
Mr. Beddler: Apparently, we're in a skit for this comedy show, but things have been going downhill.
Cutlass Supreme: What hill are you talking about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: I'm not talking about any hill, it's just an expression.
Danielle: What's an expression?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: If anypony asks me anymore stupid questions, you'll be fired.
Gary: Just continue on with what you were saying.
Mr. Beddler: Okay. Things are not going good for us. Our shop is running out of business.
Tim: We can't run out of business! We've got a show to do!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Too bad. We are going out of business. Oh, and one more thing. There's one sound that ponies constantly make when something goes wrong, like a car skidding across something, or if you're not using a DA sander properly.
Danielle: *Blushes*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: If you here that noise, please tell me so we can edit it out of the video. It's been used too much, and it needs to stop.
But the noise Mr. Beddler was talking about was heard: www.mediafire.com/listen/odyspw55tmz19p7/brakes+squeal.mp3
It went on for two seconds.
Gary: Sir, I don't know what you're talking about, but I heard your noise.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: What could it be this time?
Pony on drugs: *Enters bodyshop* yo. where's the guy that fixes cars?
Tim: We're here.
Pony on drugs: where's here?
Gary: Right in front of you.
Pony on drugs: where is that located?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Get him out of here.
Wheel Bearing: *Escorts drug pony out of shop* What happened before you entered the shop?
Pony on drugs: what are you talking about?
Audience: *Light chuckle*
Wheel Bearing: We heard this screeching noise, and I was wondering if you knew what it was.
Pony on drugs: oh, you mean this? *Holds his mouth open, and makes the noise for three seconds*
Audience: *Laughing*
Wheel Bearing: How did you do that?
Pony on drugs: do what?
Audience: *Laughing*
Wheel Bearing: Never mind. *Walks away*
Pony on drugs: *Turns back to normal* What just happened? *Walks away*
The End
On the next part of this episode
Double Scoop makes a second attempt to run into Fillydelphia nonstop.
Master Sword, and Tom were walking down the street together.
Tom: So, how's everything going?
Master Sword: Not too bad. I got to see somepony drive a '67 Camareo. How about you?
Tom: Things are going fine for me. Except for my life on the computer. I keep getting these advertisements thanks to Spamdex.
Audience: *Small laughter*
Master Sword: What kind of advertisements do they send you?
Tom: Who cares? They're advertisements. They do not belong on the internet. It's not a place for commercials, it's a place for ponies to watch videos, play games, and post self portraits.
Master Sword: You mean selfies?
Tom: F**k that. Selfies R 4 sluts.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Meanwhile, Double Scoop was starting his second attempt on running to Fillydelphia nonstop.
Song: link
Double Scoop: Here we go.
Pony in car: *Passes Double Scoop* Don't stand in the middle of the street.
Double Scoop: Up your ass with a piece of glass.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Fillydelphia, here I come. *Starts to run*
It was in slow motion for thirteen seconds. When the speed returns to normal, Double Scoop runs past Tom, and Master Sword.
Tom: Where are you heading to Double Scoop?
Double Scoop: Fillydelphia!
Master Sword: Did he say Fillydelphia?
Tom: I hope not. Only an idiot would run to Fillydelphia nonstop.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Running in the middle of the street*
Double Scoop ran for days. When the sun shone, he ran. When it was night, he ran. When it was snowing, he ran. If he was on an icy sidewalk, he ran. It took him days to get to Fillydelphia, but he soon made it while running on the side of a highway, but he didn't stop running.
Double Scoop: Now to find that building with the steps on it so I can recreate that scene from Rocky. I won't stop running until I go up them.
Five hours later, Double Scoop reached the Rocky steps.
Double Scoop: *Running up the stairs*
Ponies: *Watching Double Scoop*
Pony 63: Is he gonna make it?
Pony 96: Maybe.
Double Scoop: *Continues running up the stairs*
Stop the song
Double Scoop: *Trips, and falls all the way down to the bottom*
Audience: *Booing*
Pony 66: *To Double Scoop* Way to go. You ruined the show. I'm not even part of it thankfully.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: What happened to me?
Pony 66: Stupid question.
Audience: *Laughing*
Song: link
Snowflake: The final show for tonight is The Adventures of Rainbow Dash.
Tom: *Falls down next to Snowflake*
Snowflake: What's with you? Go back to your show.
Tom: No! I'm tired of it. You showed two of our episodes tonight, and I need a break!
Snowflake: How would you like to host the next segment?
Tom: *Nods* You heard it from her folks, not me. *Runs away*
Snowflake: *Sighs* Let's start that episode.
Theme song: link
Seanthehedgehog Presents
The Adventures Of Rainbow Dash
Based off the TV Show, Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog
Starring the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash
Her German sidekick, Pinkie Pie
The main villian, Discord
Discord's sidekicks: Screwball, Karl, and Kyle
Episode 5
Discord's Dream Machine
We begin at Discord's base of operations, where he rebuilt Celestia's old castle in the everfree forest, for himself.
Screwball: I got something important to tell you.
Discord: Well spit it out! I can't wait all day.
Screwball: Rainbow Dash has a friend making this machine that can make dreams become a reality.
Discord: Hmm, interesting. Very interesting.
Screwball: So does this mean I get a promotion?
Discord: Promotion?! You should have brought that machine to me! I'm demoting you from Corporal to Private.
Screwball: Fine, I'll just leave. *Walking across trap door*
Discord: *Opens trap door*
Screwball: *Falls through trap door*
The main door opens, and Karl, and Kyle fall through into Discord's room.
Discord: Snooping as usual I see.
Karl: Not me! I didn't hear nothing about a friend of Rainbow Dash's making a dream machine thingy.
Kyle: Me neither. Especially the part about it making dreams become reality.
Discord: Silence! We must find the pony that created this machine, kidnap him, and steal the machine so that I can use it, and make Nightmares become reality. Then they can be ruled by me!
Karl: What if they don't want to be ruled by you?
Discord: SILENCE!!
Later
Rainbow Dash: *Checking power gauge* It says 100% Doctor Whooves.
Dr. Whooves: Excellent. Thanks you two for your help.
Rainbow Dash: No problem.
Pinkie Pie: Ja, no problem.
Dr. Whooves: Now, one of you can try it out.
Rainbow Dash: I'll try it out. *Goes to machine*
Dr. Whooves: *Puts part of machine on Dash's head*
Rainbow Dash: *Falling asleep*
Dr. Whooves: Alright, sooner or later, Rainbow Dash's dream will become a reality.
And soon, a dream cloud appeared, and Thomas The Tank Engine was there.
Pinkie Pie & Dr. Whooves: *Looking at Thomas*
Thomas: What? I was just pulling some freight cars, and then-
Dr. Whooves: *Turns off machine*
Rainbow Dash: *Wakes up*
Pinkie Pie: How come we saw Thomas The Tank Engine in your dream?
Rainbow Dash: What? I liked that show as a filly, didn't you?
Discord: *Appears* Oh, hello. This is your famous dream machine, correct?
Dr. Whooves: What do you want with it?
Discord: To make it mine. And your two friends, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie will be arrested.
Karl & Kyle: *Arresting Dr. Whooves, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie*
All three ponies were taken to Discord's headquarters.
Discord: Now, doctor. We can do this, the easy way, or the hard way.
Dr. Whooves: I won't make my machine turn nightmares into realities.
Discord: Either you do that, or we'll throw you into a jail cell with Rainbow Dash.
Dr. Whooves: Alright, fine. *Working on machine*
Discord: Oh, this will be so great.
Rainbow Dash: *Trying to open cell door*
Karl: Give up, it's locked. Face it Rainbow Dash, you won't save Equestria this time.
Pinkie Pie: Don't say that about her. She'll save Equestria whether you know it, or not.
Kyle: Hahahaha. Your doors are locked, and there's not way for you to get out.
Rainbow Dash: *Sees glass door in ceiling* Wanna bet? *Flies through glass door*
Karl: Where did she go?
Kyle: Don't ask me, I wasn't looking.
Rainbow Dash: *Flies through main entrance, and towards Karl* Let Pinkie Pie, and Dr. Whooves out now.
Karl: You're a smart mare, but you're not as strong as us.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, about that... I don't need to be as strong as you. *Grabs keys from Karl* Bye. *Flies away*
Kyle: Stop her!
Karl: But she's gone.
Kyle: Ugh. How are we going to be guards without those keys.
Karl: Lets get extra keys from the extra room.
As soon as they left the prison cells, Rainbow Dash returned.
Rainbow Dash: *Unlocks cell doors*
Pinkie Pie & Dr. Whooves: *Leaves prison cell*
Dr. Whooves: Now we must stop Discord.
Rainbow Dash: He's right over there.
Discord: *About to have nightmares* Oh, this will be great. As soon as these nightmares become a reality, I will rule all of Equestria.
Dr. Whooves: *Turns off machine*
Discord: *Wakes up* Hey, what was that for?
Rainbow Dash: Saving Equestria.
Dr. Whooves: *Taking machine away*
Discord: Oh no you don't.
Pinkie Pie: *Ties up Discord*
Rainbow Dash: Good work Pinkie. Now let's get outta here.
The three ponies escape, and Discord, is tied to a chair.
Karl & Kyle: *Arrives* Sir, why did you tie yourself to a chair?
Discord: I hate that pegasus.
The End.
Song: link
Snowflake: Thanks for watching. We hope you enjoyed our show tonight. We will not be here next week, but the week after. Tom isn't the only one that needs a break.