(Cody stands in front of Wind outside as Wind sits on a bench)
Cody: So Wind, remember when you said that Mal-Mart barely pays their employees
Wind: Yes
Cody: Well, you were right… but, with lots of hard work, and having to sacrifice our food, James and I were able to buy a car for us to use
Wind: Wait… You two have a license to drive
Cody: Of course. Got it from a Cheery U cereal box. Anyway, here is the new car
(Nothing happens)
Cody: James, you gotta show the car when I say that
James: Just give me a second. This shift stick is stuck (Drives up to the two in a white golf cart)
Wind: … This is the car you two had been saving up for and why we had to resort to eating crackers and drinking water from the nearby lake?
Cody: Exactly. Isn’t it great
Wind: I don’t even think rats would have sex in the glove compartment
Cody: Jokes on you, we actually did find rats having sex in the glove compartment.
Wind: You say it like that’s a good thing
Cody: Sure, the car may be a bit rough on the eyes, but I’m sure with a bit of paint, it will look nice
Wind: Yeah, then maybe it can go from a rat sex hole to a possible portable meth lab
Cody: That’s the spirit.
Mr. Neptune: Alright students, listen up. I am your teacher, Freddy Neptune. But, you can just call me Mr. Neptune. Now, as much as I know you are all excited to learn
Wind: Ha!
Mr. Neptune: I have some important news. The university in northern California, Fleetwood University, is having a bit of friendly competition with us, to see who can have the most gratuites. Sure, Fleetwood University has a better campus, more money, more intelligent students, and a lot less rape and murder on their campus than Clearwater University, but I say we give it our all and show that we are capable of really making something of this place. Who’s with me
(No one bothers to speak up)
Mr. Neptune: Splendid. Now, let’s all show Fleetwood University what we’re made of
Cody: (Sneezes, it being the only sound in the room)
Cody: (Drives the golf cart down the road, having gotten it fixed up with hydraulics, flames painted on the sides, the golf cart a deep red color, and a set of dice hanging from the mirror) I told you that it would look better with the money we made
James: Last I checked, Cody, we stole this money from the register-
Cody: Made! We made it
Wind: (Sitting in the backseat) Yeah, it’s real nice. Now it looks like something you and every annoying school student in a five mile radius would gush over
Cody: I knew you’d like it (Stops the golf cart at a red light)
(A fancy black car stops next to them)
(The window rolls down, and three men inside look at the golf cart)
Driver; Damn, look at that. Where’d you guys find that car? The junkyard
(The three guys laugh)
Cody: Ha, shows what you know. We bought this from a guy in a suit behind a strip club. Just a few stains had to be cleaned out and it was perfect
(The three guys laugh harder)
Wind: Don’t you three have some homeless people to toss coffee at?
Driver: We would, but it’s funner to laugh at you Clearwater losers
Wind: Oh, so you’re one of those Fleetwood pricks
Driver: That’s right, cap head. I am the honor student, Winston. These two right here are my friends, Oscar and Zachary. We’d like to talk more, but we have things to do. But, we’ll leave you with a little something (Swings his car door open, smashing it into the golf cart, leaving a large scratch on the side as they drive off)
Cody: They just fucked up our paint job (Sticks his head out of the window) Alright you motherfuckers. This means war
Wind: You say it like they just killed your best friend
Cody: They may have well. This car means more to me than anyone, you and James included
James: Gee, thanks
Cody: I won’t let Fleetwood University get away with this
Wind: I don’t think the best thing to do is piss off a much more superior university. Their dicks, but even I have my limits
Cody: But what if they did something you hated
Wind: I would destroy them… But, they’ve done nothing to me yet. So, I don’t think I have much to worry about.
Wind: (Walks with Cody and James to their dorm, as they walk on campus)
Cody: Can today get any worse
(They stop when they see a sign that reads “Clearwater University Sux”)
James: Is that enough
Cody: Eh, it could be worse. What do you think, Wind
Wind: ……..
Cody: Wind?
Wind: Those pricks couldn’t take an extra few minutes to just write ‘Sucks’ properly. They just put an X like some stupid phone obsessed teen. The next time I see those Fleetwood fuckers, their dead
Cody: That’s the spirit, Wind. Don’t get mad, just get even
Wind: Oh, I’ll get even alright. Even number and times I smack a crowbar against their heads
Cody: Getting a bit too far, Wind. I mean just key scratch “Dick” on their car or something.
Wind: No, fuck that. This is personal now
Cody: Okay, Wind. It’s just grammar
Wind: No it’s just not grammar. It’s stupidity. And I fucking hate that
James: I think he’s more pissed at them than you are
Cody: And even I didn’t think that was possible
Wind: (Uses a lighter to set the sign on fire)
Cody: So Wind, remember when you said that Mal-Mart barely pays their employees
Wind: Yes
Cody: Well, you were right… but, with lots of hard work, and having to sacrifice our food, James and I were able to buy a car for us to use
Wind: Wait… You two have a license to drive
Cody: Of course. Got it from a Cheery U cereal box. Anyway, here is the new car
(Nothing happens)
Cody: James, you gotta show the car when I say that
James: Just give me a second. This shift stick is stuck (Drives up to the two in a white golf cart)
Wind: … This is the car you two had been saving up for and why we had to resort to eating crackers and drinking water from the nearby lake?
Cody: Exactly. Isn’t it great
Wind: I don’t even think rats would have sex in the glove compartment
Cody: Jokes on you, we actually did find rats having sex in the glove compartment.
Wind: You say it like that’s a good thing
Cody: Sure, the car may be a bit rough on the eyes, but I’m sure with a bit of paint, it will look nice
Wind: Yeah, then maybe it can go from a rat sex hole to a possible portable meth lab
Cody: That’s the spirit.
Mr. Neptune: Alright students, listen up. I am your teacher, Freddy Neptune. But, you can just call me Mr. Neptune. Now, as much as I know you are all excited to learn
Wind: Ha!
Mr. Neptune: I have some important news. The university in northern California, Fleetwood University, is having a bit of friendly competition with us, to see who can have the most gratuites. Sure, Fleetwood University has a better campus, more money, more intelligent students, and a lot less rape and murder on their campus than Clearwater University, but I say we give it our all and show that we are capable of really making something of this place. Who’s with me
(No one bothers to speak up)
Mr. Neptune: Splendid. Now, let’s all show Fleetwood University what we’re made of
Cody: (Sneezes, it being the only sound in the room)
Cody: (Drives the golf cart down the road, having gotten it fixed up with hydraulics, flames painted on the sides, the golf cart a deep red color, and a set of dice hanging from the mirror) I told you that it would look better with the money we made
James: Last I checked, Cody, we stole this money from the register-
Cody: Made! We made it
Wind: (Sitting in the backseat) Yeah, it’s real nice. Now it looks like something you and every annoying school student in a five mile radius would gush over
Cody: I knew you’d like it (Stops the golf cart at a red light)
(A fancy black car stops next to them)
(The window rolls down, and three men inside look at the golf cart)
Driver; Damn, look at that. Where’d you guys find that car? The junkyard
(The three guys laugh)
Cody: Ha, shows what you know. We bought this from a guy in a suit behind a strip club. Just a few stains had to be cleaned out and it was perfect
(The three guys laugh harder)
Wind: Don’t you three have some homeless people to toss coffee at?
Driver: We would, but it’s funner to laugh at you Clearwater losers
Wind: Oh, so you’re one of those Fleetwood pricks
Driver: That’s right, cap head. I am the honor student, Winston. These two right here are my friends, Oscar and Zachary. We’d like to talk more, but we have things to do. But, we’ll leave you with a little something (Swings his car door open, smashing it into the golf cart, leaving a large scratch on the side as they drive off)
Cody: They just fucked up our paint job (Sticks his head out of the window) Alright you motherfuckers. This means war
Wind: You say it like they just killed your best friend
Cody: They may have well. This car means more to me than anyone, you and James included
James: Gee, thanks
Cody: I won’t let Fleetwood University get away with this
Wind: I don’t think the best thing to do is piss off a much more superior university. Their dicks, but even I have my limits
Cody: But what if they did something you hated
Wind: I would destroy them… But, they’ve done nothing to me yet. So, I don’t think I have much to worry about.
Wind: (Walks with Cody and James to their dorm, as they walk on campus)
Cody: Can today get any worse
(They stop when they see a sign that reads “Clearwater University Sux”)
James: Is that enough
Cody: Eh, it could be worse. What do you think, Wind
Wind: ……..
Cody: Wind?
Wind: Those pricks couldn’t take an extra few minutes to just write ‘Sucks’ properly. They just put an X like some stupid phone obsessed teen. The next time I see those Fleetwood fuckers, their dead
Cody: That’s the spirit, Wind. Don’t get mad, just get even
Wind: Oh, I’ll get even alright. Even number and times I smack a crowbar against their heads
Cody: Getting a bit too far, Wind. I mean just key scratch “Dick” on their car or something.
Wind: No, fuck that. This is personal now
Cody: Okay, Wind. It’s just grammar
Wind: No it’s just not grammar. It’s stupidity. And I fucking hate that
James: I think he’s more pissed at them than you are
Cody: And even I didn’t think that was possible
Wind: (Uses a lighter to set the sign on fire)