Song: link
Duck: We reached ten episodes.
Thomas: It's time to party.
Hawkeye: *Sitting at a table with Jeff, Percy, Tom, Master Sword, Tim, and Captain Jefferson* To ten episodes.
Tim: Cheers.
Everyone at the table drank their beer, when Pinkie Pie hopped out of nowhere.
Pinkie Pie: Guten tag, ich bin Pinkie Pie. Velcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm pleased to announce zhat I vill be hosting. Zhis veek's lineup is down below.
Gran Turismo - Rated TVPG
On The Block - Rated TV14
Adventures of Thomas & Friends - Rated TVY7
Adventures of Thomas & Friends - Rated TVY7
Pinkie Pie: Back to back episodes of Adventures of Thomas & Friends? Wunderbar. Let's begin our show.
What to expect in this episode.
Ponies: *Riding snowmobiles in the snow*
---
Tim: *With Captain Jefferson in his office* What you're asking for can't be accomplished. We don't have the right vehicles to stop those guys.
---
Captain Jefferson: *Outside with a State Trooper pony* How soon will they arrive?
State Trooper Pony: As soon as we get enough money from our charity.
Captain Jefferson: That could take forever.
State Trooper Pony: Well you're gonna have to be patient!
---
Mare: *Trapped in a car laying on it's side in snow* Help! I can't open my door!
Tim: Just sit tight! We'll get you out!
Mare: It's cold! I'm gonna get frostbite!
Intro
Song: link
Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting next to her*
Gran Turismo
Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
Rainbow Dash as Julia Rose
Tim: *Talks on the radio*
Julia: *Increases speed in the car while turning on the police lights*
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
And Red Velvet from Dragonaura15
Episode 6: Snow
Special Guest Stars, Jordan from SeanTheHedgehog
And Neon Lights as Nick Ren
Gran Turismo just got 18 inches of snow. Even though all of the roads were plowed, the speed limits were reduced, to avoid accidents.
Julia: *Stops her car next to a speed limit sign*
Tim: *Gets a temporary speed limit sign, and puts it up*
The limit on the road they were currently on was reduced from 35 to 20. Every road in Gran Turismo had it's speed limit decreased by 15.
Tim: There we go. *Gets back into the car, sitting next to Julia*
Julia: *Drives the car*
Tim: *Picks up the receiver on the radio* GT24, we just finished putting the temporary speed limit signs on Main Street, we're gonna continue our patrol on Monday Avenue.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Ponies: *Riding snowmobiles in the snow*
Tim: *Hear the snowmobiles* Sounds like some ponies are having fun.
Julia: *See the snowmobiles by the road* I see what you mean.
Snowmobile Ponies: *Go over Julia's police car, and land on the other side of the road, nearly hitting another pony*
Tim: A little too much fun. Turn left.
Julia: *Turns on her police lights, and sirens as she turns left*
Tim: GT24, we have two ponies on snowmobiles, wanted for careless driving. They're currently on Shadow Lake near Green Drive.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Julia: I hope they break the ice.
Tim: I'm afraid that won't happen.
Snowmobile Ponies: *Turn left, and jump over the highway*
Ponies: *Honking their horns as they slow down, then increase speed after the snowmobiles are gone*
Julia: Don't tell me we lost them already!
Tim: It looks like we did. The captain won't be pleased about that.
Julia: You're telling me.
Tim: *Talks on the radio* GT24, we lost the snowmobiles.
Dispatch: Ten-4.
Julia: What now?
Tim: Let's get back to our patrol.
Julia: *Turns the car around, and drives* I bet you they'll turn up again.
Tim: Yeah, but we won't be able to catch them in this. We need snowmobiles as well.
Later on at the station, Tim, and Julia went to Captain Jefferson's office to talk to him.
Tim: *Opens the door* Captain, you got a minute?
Captain Jefferson: You must be a mind reader, I was just about to call you down here.
Julia: What did you want to talk to us about?
Captain Jefferson: Actually Julia, I need you to go into the briefing room, and make sure it's clean for my arrival. Okay?
Julia: Okay. *Walks away*
Tim: What was that all about Captain?
Captain Jefferson: Close the door Tim.
Tim: *Closes the door*
Captain Jefferson: You know that Julia is sensitive, and doesn't like to be shouted at.
Tim: Is this about what happened with the snowmobiles Captain?
Captain Jefferson: Yes. You pursued them in 20 seconds, and they just get away from you! What was that all about?!
Tim: Where are you going with this?
Captain Jefferson: It should have taken them longer to escape from you. Better yet, they shouldn't have escaped at all! Next time you see those two ponies on their snowmobiles, stop them!
Tim: What you're asking for can't be accomplished. We don't have the right vehicles to stop those guys.
Captain Jefferson: Try to be creative Tim, and tell Julia to do the same thing.
Tim: Right.
After a 90 second briefing, Tim, and Julia were back on the streets in their police car.
Julia: So. What did you, and the Captain talk about?
Tim: He wants you to be creative.
Julia: That's what he said?
Tim: Yeah, he told me to do the same thing.
Snowmobile Ponies: *Up to no good again. They jump over the road. and land in the snow on the other side of the road*
Mare: Ah! *Freaks out after nearly hitting the snowmobiles, and flips her car onto it's side. The engine dies, as the front slides into the snow, and gets covered*
Dispatch: Attention all units on Green Drive, there is a car on it's side, vehicle, silver 2009 Chrysler 300, by the hospital.
Julia: *Turns right at the intersection with her police lights on*
Tim: GT24, just passing the gun shop, we're not far away from our victim.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Mare: *Stands up, and tries to open the door above her* Come on, don't tell me you're stuck.
But the door wasn't budging.
Mare: I can't get out. *Hitting the door* I can't get out!! *Tries the other door* That one's stuck too!! Oh, how am I gonna get out of here?!
Julia: *Stops the car, and runs out with Tim*
Tim: Anypony in there?
Mare: Help! I can't open my door!
Tim: Just sit tight! We'll get you out!
Mare: It's cold! I'm gonna get frostbite!
Tim: No yon won't. We're going to get you out.
Tim, and Julia were trying to help a mare get out of her car. None of the doors would open, and it was freezing inside.
Mare: Get me out of here!!
Tim: Hold on, we will!!
Julia: What are we going to do?
Tim: Let me talk to her, I think I got something. *Goes to the front of the car* Ma'am, we're going to bust the front window open.
Mare: Are you mad?! Do you know how much this car costs?!
Tim: What's more important ma'am? The car, or your life? Plus it's already damaged. Now stand back, we don't want you getting hurt.
Mare: *Goes as far back as she can*
Tim: *Grabs his night stick, and hits the front window three times, making it shatter*
Mare: *Runs out*
Tim: Are you hurt?
Mare: Not really. Just mad at those two ponies who were riding their snowmobiles.
Julia: Snowmobiles?
Mare: All black. Their suits, the snowmobiles, everything was black.
Tim: Why don't you sit in the car for a while, and warm yourself up?
Julia: *Opens the right door on her police car*
Mare: *Sits inside the police car*
Julia: *Closes the door*
Tim: Why don't you take her down to the hospital on this street? I'll make sure this car goes where it belongs.
Julia: Got it.
Jordan, and Nick were inside a house. It is now 9 PM.
Nick: *Holding two cans of Canada Dry, giving one to Jordan* Dude, did you see the one in the Cadillac when we went over them?
Jordan: *Laughing as he opens his can of Canada Dry*
Nick: He was just like, *Makes a funny shocked face* Noooooo!! *Laughs with Jordan*
Jordan: How about those police ponies?
Nick: Oh, they're fun to annoy! As long as they don't have snowmobiles, they'll never catch us. Okay, what do we do tomorrow?
Jordan: Tomorrow, nothing, but on Friday, we will go on the train tracks, and if we see any police ponies, jump over them. Try to wreck those lights on the roof while you go over them.
Nick: I'll be happy to do that, with this. *Grabs a hammer* We should also smash the windows.
Jordan: *Laughing* Their faces will be so red, that it'll melt the snow.
The next day, Tim went into Captain Jefferson's office.
Captain Jefferson: What can I do for you Tim?
Tim: It's about those two ponies on snowmobiles.
Captain Jefferson: Did they get away from you again?
Tim: Yes.
Captain Jefferson: I thought so. That's why I called the State Troopers to get us two snowmobiles for you, and Julia to use.
Tim: Oh great. That's what I was going to talk to you about.
Captain Jefferson: Now with that out of the way, it's time for us to go have our briefing.
Tim walked with Captain Jefferson into the briefing room, where the other officers were waiting, including a State Trooper.
Captain Jefferson: The Neigh Jersey State Troopers are having some trouble catching a few suspects in Ponyville. Here to talk about is a Corporal, John Henshaw.
State Trooper Pony: *Walks over to where Captain Jefferson is* Thanks Captain. The suspects your Captain has mentioned are in sports cars. Most of them are imports. They're wanted for speeding. We chase them in Ponyville, but on their way to Gran Turismo, they manage to lose us. We think we figured out their route, next time we lose one of them, we'll radio your dispatch, and they'll tell you about the car we were chasing. That's all I have Captain.
Captain Jefferson: Thank you Henshaw.
State Trooper: *Goes back to his seat*
Captain Jefferson: Now what I got to say, is about those two ponies on snowmobiles. The state troopers recently bought a few snowmobiles, and are willing to let us borrow two of them. Tim Miller, and Julia Rose will use them to catch our suspects. That's it. Be safe out there.
Police Ponies: *Getting up, and walking away*
After the briefing.
Captain Jefferson: *Goes outside with the State Trooper pony* How soon will they arrive?
State Trooper Pony: As soon as we get enough money from our charity.
Captain Jefferson: That could take forever.
State Trooper Pony: Well you're gonna have to be patient!
Captain Jefferson: Alright, look I'm sorry. At least, try to get them here before 9 AM tomorrow. Anytime earlier than that will be greatly appreciated.
State Trooper: I'll talk to my supervisor about it. *Gets into his police car, and drives away*
Jordan, and Nick were riding their snowmobiles at Jordan's house, left of the docks. They were testing out some new modifications.
Nick: *Goes over a hill, and turns left*
Jordan: *Leans the snowmobile back as he increases speed*
Nick: Nice one!
Jordan: *Turns right, stops, and gets off*
Nick: *Stops next to Jordan* That was cool.
Jordan: The new transmission, and supercharger you got for us will surely come in handy. We can go faster, end up in many different places, and give ourselves more time to have fun.
Nick: Yeah, with those hammers, we'll definitely have fun smashing up police cars.
The next day, a State Trooper suburban arrived towing a trailer with two snowmobiles on it.
Captain Jefferson: Finally, it's about time they got here.
Tim & Julia: *Walk out of the building, wearing helmets, and thick coats attached to pants*
Captain Jefferson: Are you ready?
Tim: Yes Captain.
State Trooper Pony: *Gets out of the Suburban*
Captain Jefferson: This is Neigh Jersey State Trooper Sargent Timothy Dunkirk.
State Trooper Pony: Hello.
Tim: Nice to meet you Sargent.
State Trooper Pony: We believe we've located the home of one of your suspects. Both of them could be there. We saw two trails left by snowmobiles from a picture on Google Maps.
Tim: Okay, let's go check it out. *Gets in the back of the Suburban with Julia*
State Trooper Pony: *Gets into the Suburban, and drives*
Jordan: *Arrives at Nick's house in his snowmobile*
Nick: *Walks out of a shed* You're here already?
Jordan: Yeah.
Nick: I'm refueling my snowmobile. Hang in there.
But then, that's when Tim, and Julia got to the front of the house. None of the stallions could see them.
Tim & Julia: *Put the snowmobiles into the snow*
State Trooper Pony: I'll wait here, and try to block them off.
Tim & Julia: *Start their snowmobiles, and ride to the back of the house*
Jordan: Do you hear that?
Nick: Just some more snowmobiles. So what?
Tim & Julia: *Arrive, and surround Jordan*
Jordan: Nick, it's the cops!! *Gets arrested*
Nick: *Takes off in his snowmobile* You cops are too slow!
Tim: *Rides after Nick*
Julia: *Walks towards the State Trooper Pony*
Nick: *Going 60 miles an hour*
Tim: *Catching up*
Nick: *Getting closer to the road*
Tim: *5 inches away from Nick*
Nick: *Grabs his hammer*
They went under a bridge on the round freeway, riding next to the railroad tracks.
Nick: *Sees Tim next to him, and hits his snowmobile with the hammer*
Tim: *Watches Nick try to make another swing, and grabs the hammer*
Nick: *Punches Tim in the rib cage*
Tim: Ah! *Lets go, and nearly falls*
Nick: *Rides towards him, and hits him again with the hammer*
Tim: Ah! *Scrapes the left side of his snowmobile on a tree. He grabs his gun, and shoots Nick twice*
Nick: *Falls off, and dies*
And now we're at the ending credits. Song: link
When you read the ending credits between the dialogue, the characters pause in place.
Tim: *Returns to Julia with the dead Nick*
Julia: *Takes Nick off his back, and looks at Tim*
Tim: *Points at the state trooper suburban, and tells Julia to get an ambulance*
Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
Rainbow Dash as Julia Rose
Julia: *Runs to the Suburban* Sarge, we need an ambulance, for Tim, and one of our suspects.
State Trooper Pony: What happened?
Julia: I think it's best if we let Tim tell us himself.
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
State Trooper Pony: *Talks on his radio* Car 82, still in Gran Turismo, contact the Gran Turismo General Hospital, we have two ponies that need an ambulance.
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
Julia: *Runs back to Tim*
Tim: *Falls down into the snow*
Julia: Are you okay?
Tim: I think I broke my leg.
Julia: The ambulance is coming. Here. *Helps Tim back up onto the snowmobile*
Red Velvet from DragonAura15
Tim: *Nods* Thanks.
Police cars furnished by Nissan, BMW, and Chevrolet
Julia: I hope you have a quick recovery.
Tim: Me too Julia. Me too.
Motorcycles furnished by Kawasaki
Julia: *Sees the ambulance, and carries Tim as she flies towards it*
The End
Gran Turismo, A SeanTheHedgehog & Dragonaura15 Production
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Pinkie Pie: No music in zhe entire episode? Unusual. Up next, On Zhe Block.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here until after the crossover parody ended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I was just asking. Sheesh.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody is... I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Leave it to me. Today's crossover parody is The Bob The Builder Show. This one combines Bob The Builder with The Bob Newhart Show.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Let's get it started.
The Bob The Builder Show
Starring Tom Foolery as Bob
Snow Wonder as Emily
Saten Twist as Mr. Carlin
Sunny as Carol
Mortomis as Jerry
Blaze as Mr. Peterson
Master Sword as Howard
Heartsong as Ms. Dubois
Bob the builder is no longer a builder. He has left all his talking vehicles behind, and decided to start practicing therapy. He now lives in Chicagoat with a mare he just married named Emily.
Bob: *At work*
Carol: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Carol. Do I have any patients coming over today?
Carol: Yeah, you have three.
Bob: Three patients. I wonder if they have any patience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: They aren't therapists like you Bob.
Bob: Forget it.
Jerry: *Walks in* Being a dentist sucks!
Colgate: *Appears out of nowhere* I resent that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Why? What happened?
Jerry: I was just checking the teeth of this pony, and he said I was scary.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: Maybe you're really terrible at your job.
Mr. Carlin, Mr. Peterson, and Ms. Dubois arrived.
Mr. Carlin: Come on Bob, let's get this started. I can't wait all day to make fun of these two weirdos.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Go into my office. I'll be with you.
Mr. Carlin: *Goes into Bob's office*
Mr. Peterson: *Follows Mr. Carlin*
Ms. Dubois: *Follows Mr. Peterson*
Bob: Carol, call my wife, and tell her I'll be back home in an hour.
Carol: You got it.
Bob: *Walks into his office*
Mr. Peterson: Don't you dare call me a spineless wuss.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What happened?
Mr. Carlin: I called him a spineless wuss.
Mr. Peterson: Because I was using light weights to work out yesterday.
Bob: How light were they?
Mr. Peterson: 1 pound.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Carlin: Need I say more.
Bob: Well, look. We have a problem, and when I have a problem, I like to fix it. So, now that we know what the problem is, it's time to use my catchphrase. Can we fix it?!
Mr. Carlin: Where the hell did you get that shitty catchphrase?
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, at Bob's apartment.
Bob: *Enters apartment*
Emily: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Emily.
Emily: How was work?
Bob: Somepony said he didn't like my catchphrase.
Emily: Well it is kind of annoying.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Howard: *Walks into apartment*
Audience: *Cheering*
Howard: Who said that?! *Looks around room, and it scared.* Bob! Your apartment is haunted!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What are you talking about?
Howard: I heard some ponies cheering, and laughing, and I don't know where it's coming from!
Bob: I didn't hear anything.
Emily: Neither did I.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Fine! If you won't make your apartment less haunted, I will!
Bob: What are you going to do?
Howard: I brought garlic to protect me!
Bob: That only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll stab any ghosts I see with a wooden stake.
Bob: Two problems with that plan. One, you can't see where the ghost is, and two, that only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll.... No, that only works on vampires.
Bob: What?
Howard: I was going to call ghostbusters.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the next part of this episode,
Saten Twist goes drag racing.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 7: On The Block Was Filmed In Front Of A Live Audience
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Inspecting the bottom of his car*
Tom: *Walks in* Where are you Saten Twist?
Saten Twist: Down here.
Tom: *Sees Saten Twist under a car* Did somepony run you over?
Saten Twist: In a garage?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That doesn't answer my question.
Saten Twist: No, I did not get run over.
Master Sword: *Arrives, and sees Saten Twist* Saten Twist got hit by a car!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Jesus christ. I am modifying my car for a drag race!!
Tom: What for?
Saten Twist: I want to win enough money so that I can buy a chainsaw.
Master Sword: Is that all you give a f**k about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Glares at Master Sword*
All three of them got in the car, and went towards a really long straight piece of road. They saw another car.
Tom: Looks like you're racing that station wagon.
Saten Twist: This will be too easy.
Master Sword: Then you'll get that unnecesary item you already have.
Saten Twist: It's longer than the one I currently have!
Master Sword: Ooh, it's longer! Who cares?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: *Revs engine on station wagon*
Saten Twist: Mortomis! You're drag racing me?
Mortomis: That's right. You're going down!!
They both rev their engines, and a pony stood in front of them holding a light.
Saten Twist: *Looking at Mortomis*
Mortomis: *Looking at Saten Twist*
Light Pony: *Turns on light*
Saten Twist & Mortomis: *Pass the light pony*
Tom: Come on Twisty!
Saten Twist: Don't call me that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: You're winning, keep going!
Saten Twist: I'm not slowing down! I'm winning!
Mortomis: *Passes Saten Twist, and crosses the finish line*
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Surprised* I lost to a station wagon!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's get to the skits before he tries to kill somepony.
Saten Twist: SOMEONE!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Who gives a shit?
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as Olive
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
Everypony in the bodyshop was getting ready for work. During that, they were talking about movies.
Olive: Who saw the new Hunger Games film?
Gary: You mean the first part of Mockingjay? I saw it.
Olive: Wasn't it awesome?
Gary: Yeah. I can't wait to see part 2.
Wheel Bearing: I didn't get to see it. I've been so busy with my family, that we don't get to go to the theater.
Olive: Why can't you be busy with your family at the theater.
Wheel Bearing: I was there with my son, and we watched Frozen. His head blew up.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Edwina: That's what all Disney films do to you.
Gary: What are you talking about? Disney made lots of great films.
Edwina: I just don't like Disney.
Olive: Why?
Edwina: Ask any jewish pony why, and you'll find out.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: I liked watching The Lion King.
Cutlass Supreme: My favorite Disney film was Oliver & Company.
Tim: What was that one about?
Cutlass Supreme: About a cat that lives in Manehattan.
Tim: Who wants to see a film about some cat joining the mafia?
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: Looks like somepony never saw the movie.
Mr. Beddler: *Arrives* What are you doing? You should be ready for work right now.
Gary: We were talking about movies.
Mr. Beddler: Talk about them on your own time. Otherwise, I'll show you a movie you'll never forget. It's so terrible you'll never forget it.
Gary: What is it?
Mr. Beddler: Django Unchained.
Gary: Actually, I like that film.
Audience: *Laughing*
Everypony shook their heads, saying they liked Django Unchained. Mr. Beddler was not amused.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Get to work! Danielle, I want you to practice using a grinder.
Danielle: Okay.
So Mr. Beddler, and Danielle got a sand grinder plugged into an airhose, and set up for work.
Mr. Beddler: Now to use one of these, you pull the trigger. The grinder you see here is a disc. We call them DA grinders. Now what you wanna do is use it on these spots I welded, and make the area feel really smooth. *Pulls trigger, and grinds the welded spots* There's a certain noise you'll hear when you grind the area too much.
This was the noise: link
Mr. Beddler: Hear it?!
Danielle: Yeah.
Mr. Beddler: *Stops grinding* Okay, now you try it. I gotta check on Gary, and Tim, to make sure they don't put paint on the painting booth windows.
Gary: *Painting the painting booth windows*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: Hurry up. We can't let anypony see what we're doing.
Gary: All good.
Tim: *Gets weed* Let's do this.
Audience: *Laughing*
Now Danielle was all by herself.
Danielle: Okay, so he said to grind the spots until that noise stops. Got it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: *Grinding one spot* No noise, good.
She only grinded the welding spots for only one second, because they didn't make the noise Danielle thought they were supposed to make. The areas she grinded were still uneven, then she started grinding the area Mr. Beddler did.
Danielle: *Hears noise as she grinds* Perfect. Now to keep grinding until it stops.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *Hears noise* What the hell? *Runs toward Danielle* Danielle, stop!!
Danielle: *Stops* What?
Mr. Beddler: You were grinding that area too much. What were you thinking?
Danielle: You said to keep grinding until that noise stopped.
Mr. Beddler: No, I said you stop when it makes that noise, because you grinded it too much.
Danielle: Then make up your mind!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Forget it. Go help Cutlass with the dent on that limo.
Up next is a new skit about assassins. Credit goes to Purrloinedlove for this idea.
Ass Ass Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring Rainbow Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic Rainbow as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Los Angeles. A place for many great events, and some bad ones as well.
Audience: *Laughing*
One of the hotels in this town is called the Ass Ass Inn. It's got a secret strip club run by two mares, but the main reason for it's name, is because it's a hotel for assassins only.
Ranger: What's our target for the day Mercury?
Mercury: Our target is to shoot down a green unicorn. He's a police officer that's been giving me trouble ever since I moved into this town.
Flashback
Police Pony: Hi.
Mercury: I don't like you.
Audience: *Laughing*
End flashback
Mercury: I need you to take him down. You'll get nine grand for the job.
Ranger: Sure thing.
Mercury: *Turns head, and sees Marisa with George* George, you either have her do that to you somewhere private, or don't do it at all!
Marisa: *Stands up*
George: Come on, she was just putting a tattoo on my hoof.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: You mean she wasn't...
George: No.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Ranger was set up on a rooftop.
Ranger: *Looking through rifle scope, and hears his phone go off. He answers the phone* Yes?
Pony: Hi, we work for Spamdex. How would you like to be annoyed by an endless supply of advertisements on the internet?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: How would you like to have your company go out of business?! *Hangs up*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Walking down street*
Ranger: *Aiming rifle at cop* Here we go.
Green Unicorn Cop: *Stops to answer a text message*
Ranger: *Shoots a bullet* Wait a sec, I'm shooting blanks!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Loads gun with real bullets*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Continues walking*
Pony: Hi, I work for Spamdex. Have we sent a virus to your computer yet?
Green Unicorn Cop: Spam yourself you weirdo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Shoots Green Unicorn Cop*
Ponies: *Freaking out, and running away*
Spamdex Pony: Remain calm! I work for Spamdex!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: Mission accomplished.
Back at the Ass Ass Inn.
Mercury: Nicely done.
Ranger: Thank you sir.
Mercury: No problem. Donovan, get off of Joanna!
Audience: *Laughing*
Donovan: It wasn't what you thought it was sir.
Joanna: He was pretending that I was a jetski, and that he was riding through big waves.
Mercury: You mean he wasn't...
Joanna: Of course not.
Donovan: I haven't done that to a mare since I graduated college.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next is a classroom skit
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
As some of you already know, some ponies despise going to school. Some of those ponies, are all the ones in Ms. Schultz's class.
Sunny: Geez, why do you always give us hard questions?
Gary: I got something hard, but I think you'll like it.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Lauren: These questions are so difficult!
Ms. Schultz: Complaining will not help.
Brianna: Sure it will. If we continue complaining for a certain amount of time, you'll get mad, and send us to the principal's office.
Ms. Schultz: No I won't.
James: But you're a teacher. You're supposed to get mad at us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Anyway, how are these questions hard? 8 * 64 = what?
Lauren: What is that thing between the 8, and 64?
Gary: Your pussy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, if you continue saying stuff like that, you'll have detention in the morning.
Gary: Whoop de do. I hate the morning. You'll be doing me a favor.
James: There's gotta be something you like about the morning.
Maria: What about the sunrise? Or the birds singing.
Gary: Or waking up, realizing that you have five days of torture in one week.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: At least next week, you have two full days, and an early dismissal.
James: What for?
Ms. Schultz: Thanksgiving weekend.
Gary: I hate thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
Ms. Schultz: Then I have the perfect idea.
On a thursday, when Ms. Schultz's room was dark, with a few lights on.
Ms. Schultz: Are you enjoying your morning detention?
Gary: Happy thanksgiving.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia was in her office when suddenly..
Derpy: *Enters office* Twilight Sparkle has started a new school, and has made you enroll for classes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: What are your thoughts about this?
Celestia: This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. I should be teaching that purple bitch! She robbed Pinkie Pie, and I punished Twilight by giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: She never should have robbed Pinkie Pie in the first place. This sucks! Now she's going to run a school that I'll be going to!
Later at the new school.
Twilight: Whad up niggas?
Audience: *Clapping*
Twilight: Let's start off our first day of school with some arithmetic. What is one plus one?
Link to how Pinkie Pie is talking: link
Pinkie Pie: Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: I'm pretty sure the answer is nein. My best friend Rarity told me.
Twilight: Unfortunately, you're wrong.
Pinkie Pie: Screw that sex addict for giving me the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Though, I'm pretty sure someone else is doing that to her already.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Okay, Rick Astley, why don't you try to answer?
Song: link
Rick Astley: *Rick rolling everyone*
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Rick Astley: We're no strangers to love! You know the rules, and so do I!
Twilight: *Stops song* Man, that song sucks, and you got the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Now it's your turn Celestia.
Celestia: The answer is two.
Twilight: And that's where you're wrong!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: WHAT?!
Twilight: Everypony knows the answer is window.
Audience: *Clapping*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Derpy: How was your first day of school?
Celestia: That's a stupid question you cross eyed dumbass. It was horrible! Twilight Sparkle not only runs the school, but she's my teacher! I told her that one, and one is two, but she said I was wrong. She sucks. I wanna get out of that school quickly!
Derpy: Princess, I think your crown is getting angry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back on the block
Master Sword: That's the end of this episode, but please be careful on the day after Thanksgiving.
Tom: Black Friday can be very dangerous. To prove it, here's a clip we got from the internet.
Pony 5: *Grabbing TV*
Pony 63: HEY! Get your hooves off that TV!
Pony 5: There's one just like this, go get your own TV.
Pony 63: *Punches Pony 5, and fights him on the ground*
Tom: If that's what Black Friday is like every year, I can imagine what it's like for African Equestrians.
Audience: *Laughing*
Black Ponies: *Shooting each other*
Black Pony 35: Shoot dat Nigga! He's tryin' to steal those rims for my '64 Chevy.
Black Pony 25: *Shoots Black pony*
Black Pony 35: Nopony steals my rims for my car. Happy n***er friday motherf**kers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I think that's all the time we have for today. See you after Thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Pinkie Pie: *Laughing* Wunderbar. Okay, see you in part 2, vhich vill start in 8:30. Until zhen, Auf wiedersehen.
Duck: We reached ten episodes.
Thomas: It's time to party.
Hawkeye: *Sitting at a table with Jeff, Percy, Tom, Master Sword, Tim, and Captain Jefferson* To ten episodes.
Tim: Cheers.
Everyone at the table drank their beer, when Pinkie Pie hopped out of nowhere.
Pinkie Pie: Guten tag, ich bin Pinkie Pie. Velcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm pleased to announce zhat I vill be hosting. Zhis veek's lineup is down below.
Gran Turismo - Rated TVPG
On The Block - Rated TV14
Adventures of Thomas & Friends - Rated TVY7
Adventures of Thomas & Friends - Rated TVY7
Pinkie Pie: Back to back episodes of Adventures of Thomas & Friends? Wunderbar. Let's begin our show.
What to expect in this episode.
Ponies: *Riding snowmobiles in the snow*
---
Tim: *With Captain Jefferson in his office* What you're asking for can't be accomplished. We don't have the right vehicles to stop those guys.
---
Captain Jefferson: *Outside with a State Trooper pony* How soon will they arrive?
State Trooper Pony: As soon as we get enough money from our charity.
Captain Jefferson: That could take forever.
State Trooper Pony: Well you're gonna have to be patient!
---
Mare: *Trapped in a car laying on it's side in snow* Help! I can't open my door!
Tim: Just sit tight! We'll get you out!
Mare: It's cold! I'm gonna get frostbite!
Intro
Song: link
Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting next to her*
Gran Turismo
Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
Rainbow Dash as Julia Rose
Tim: *Talks on the radio*
Julia: *Increases speed in the car while turning on the police lights*
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
And Red Velvet from Dragonaura15
Episode 6: Snow
Special Guest Stars, Jordan from SeanTheHedgehog
And Neon Lights as Nick Ren
Gran Turismo just got 18 inches of snow. Even though all of the roads were plowed, the speed limits were reduced, to avoid accidents.
Julia: *Stops her car next to a speed limit sign*
Tim: *Gets a temporary speed limit sign, and puts it up*
The limit on the road they were currently on was reduced from 35 to 20. Every road in Gran Turismo had it's speed limit decreased by 15.
Tim: There we go. *Gets back into the car, sitting next to Julia*
Julia: *Drives the car*
Tim: *Picks up the receiver on the radio* GT24, we just finished putting the temporary speed limit signs on Main Street, we're gonna continue our patrol on Monday Avenue.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Ponies: *Riding snowmobiles in the snow*
Tim: *Hear the snowmobiles* Sounds like some ponies are having fun.
Julia: *See the snowmobiles by the road* I see what you mean.
Snowmobile Ponies: *Go over Julia's police car, and land on the other side of the road, nearly hitting another pony*
Tim: A little too much fun. Turn left.
Julia: *Turns on her police lights, and sirens as she turns left*
Tim: GT24, we have two ponies on snowmobiles, wanted for careless driving. They're currently on Shadow Lake near Green Drive.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Julia: I hope they break the ice.
Tim: I'm afraid that won't happen.
Snowmobile Ponies: *Turn left, and jump over the highway*
Ponies: *Honking their horns as they slow down, then increase speed after the snowmobiles are gone*
Julia: Don't tell me we lost them already!
Tim: It looks like we did. The captain won't be pleased about that.
Julia: You're telling me.
Tim: *Talks on the radio* GT24, we lost the snowmobiles.
Dispatch: Ten-4.
Julia: What now?
Tim: Let's get back to our patrol.
Julia: *Turns the car around, and drives* I bet you they'll turn up again.
Tim: Yeah, but we won't be able to catch them in this. We need snowmobiles as well.
Later on at the station, Tim, and Julia went to Captain Jefferson's office to talk to him.
Tim: *Opens the door* Captain, you got a minute?
Captain Jefferson: You must be a mind reader, I was just about to call you down here.
Julia: What did you want to talk to us about?
Captain Jefferson: Actually Julia, I need you to go into the briefing room, and make sure it's clean for my arrival. Okay?
Julia: Okay. *Walks away*
Tim: What was that all about Captain?
Captain Jefferson: Close the door Tim.
Tim: *Closes the door*
Captain Jefferson: You know that Julia is sensitive, and doesn't like to be shouted at.
Tim: Is this about what happened with the snowmobiles Captain?
Captain Jefferson: Yes. You pursued them in 20 seconds, and they just get away from you! What was that all about?!
Tim: Where are you going with this?
Captain Jefferson: It should have taken them longer to escape from you. Better yet, they shouldn't have escaped at all! Next time you see those two ponies on their snowmobiles, stop them!
Tim: What you're asking for can't be accomplished. We don't have the right vehicles to stop those guys.
Captain Jefferson: Try to be creative Tim, and tell Julia to do the same thing.
Tim: Right.
After a 90 second briefing, Tim, and Julia were back on the streets in their police car.
Julia: So. What did you, and the Captain talk about?
Tim: He wants you to be creative.
Julia: That's what he said?
Tim: Yeah, he told me to do the same thing.
Snowmobile Ponies: *Up to no good again. They jump over the road. and land in the snow on the other side of the road*
Mare: Ah! *Freaks out after nearly hitting the snowmobiles, and flips her car onto it's side. The engine dies, as the front slides into the snow, and gets covered*
Dispatch: Attention all units on Green Drive, there is a car on it's side, vehicle, silver 2009 Chrysler 300, by the hospital.
Julia: *Turns right at the intersection with her police lights on*
Tim: GT24, just passing the gun shop, we're not far away from our victim.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Mare: *Stands up, and tries to open the door above her* Come on, don't tell me you're stuck.
But the door wasn't budging.
Mare: I can't get out. *Hitting the door* I can't get out!! *Tries the other door* That one's stuck too!! Oh, how am I gonna get out of here?!
Julia: *Stops the car, and runs out with Tim*
Tim: Anypony in there?
Mare: Help! I can't open my door!
Tim: Just sit tight! We'll get you out!
Mare: It's cold! I'm gonna get frostbite!
Tim: No yon won't. We're going to get you out.
Tim, and Julia were trying to help a mare get out of her car. None of the doors would open, and it was freezing inside.
Mare: Get me out of here!!
Tim: Hold on, we will!!
Julia: What are we going to do?
Tim: Let me talk to her, I think I got something. *Goes to the front of the car* Ma'am, we're going to bust the front window open.
Mare: Are you mad?! Do you know how much this car costs?!
Tim: What's more important ma'am? The car, or your life? Plus it's already damaged. Now stand back, we don't want you getting hurt.
Mare: *Goes as far back as she can*
Tim: *Grabs his night stick, and hits the front window three times, making it shatter*
Mare: *Runs out*
Tim: Are you hurt?
Mare: Not really. Just mad at those two ponies who were riding their snowmobiles.
Julia: Snowmobiles?
Mare: All black. Their suits, the snowmobiles, everything was black.
Tim: Why don't you sit in the car for a while, and warm yourself up?
Julia: *Opens the right door on her police car*
Mare: *Sits inside the police car*
Julia: *Closes the door*
Tim: Why don't you take her down to the hospital on this street? I'll make sure this car goes where it belongs.
Julia: Got it.
Jordan, and Nick were inside a house. It is now 9 PM.
Nick: *Holding two cans of Canada Dry, giving one to Jordan* Dude, did you see the one in the Cadillac when we went over them?
Jordan: *Laughing as he opens his can of Canada Dry*
Nick: He was just like, *Makes a funny shocked face* Noooooo!! *Laughs with Jordan*
Jordan: How about those police ponies?
Nick: Oh, they're fun to annoy! As long as they don't have snowmobiles, they'll never catch us. Okay, what do we do tomorrow?
Jordan: Tomorrow, nothing, but on Friday, we will go on the train tracks, and if we see any police ponies, jump over them. Try to wreck those lights on the roof while you go over them.
Nick: I'll be happy to do that, with this. *Grabs a hammer* We should also smash the windows.
Jordan: *Laughing* Their faces will be so red, that it'll melt the snow.
The next day, Tim went into Captain Jefferson's office.
Captain Jefferson: What can I do for you Tim?
Tim: It's about those two ponies on snowmobiles.
Captain Jefferson: Did they get away from you again?
Tim: Yes.
Captain Jefferson: I thought so. That's why I called the State Troopers to get us two snowmobiles for you, and Julia to use.
Tim: Oh great. That's what I was going to talk to you about.
Captain Jefferson: Now with that out of the way, it's time for us to go have our briefing.
Tim walked with Captain Jefferson into the briefing room, where the other officers were waiting, including a State Trooper.
Captain Jefferson: The Neigh Jersey State Troopers are having some trouble catching a few suspects in Ponyville. Here to talk about is a Corporal, John Henshaw.
State Trooper Pony: *Walks over to where Captain Jefferson is* Thanks Captain. The suspects your Captain has mentioned are in sports cars. Most of them are imports. They're wanted for speeding. We chase them in Ponyville, but on their way to Gran Turismo, they manage to lose us. We think we figured out their route, next time we lose one of them, we'll radio your dispatch, and they'll tell you about the car we were chasing. That's all I have Captain.
Captain Jefferson: Thank you Henshaw.
State Trooper: *Goes back to his seat*
Captain Jefferson: Now what I got to say, is about those two ponies on snowmobiles. The state troopers recently bought a few snowmobiles, and are willing to let us borrow two of them. Tim Miller, and Julia Rose will use them to catch our suspects. That's it. Be safe out there.
Police Ponies: *Getting up, and walking away*
After the briefing.
Captain Jefferson: *Goes outside with the State Trooper pony* How soon will they arrive?
State Trooper Pony: As soon as we get enough money from our charity.
Captain Jefferson: That could take forever.
State Trooper Pony: Well you're gonna have to be patient!
Captain Jefferson: Alright, look I'm sorry. At least, try to get them here before 9 AM tomorrow. Anytime earlier than that will be greatly appreciated.
State Trooper: I'll talk to my supervisor about it. *Gets into his police car, and drives away*
Jordan, and Nick were riding their snowmobiles at Jordan's house, left of the docks. They were testing out some new modifications.
Nick: *Goes over a hill, and turns left*
Jordan: *Leans the snowmobile back as he increases speed*
Nick: Nice one!
Jordan: *Turns right, stops, and gets off*
Nick: *Stops next to Jordan* That was cool.
Jordan: The new transmission, and supercharger you got for us will surely come in handy. We can go faster, end up in many different places, and give ourselves more time to have fun.
Nick: Yeah, with those hammers, we'll definitely have fun smashing up police cars.
The next day, a State Trooper suburban arrived towing a trailer with two snowmobiles on it.
Captain Jefferson: Finally, it's about time they got here.
Tim & Julia: *Walk out of the building, wearing helmets, and thick coats attached to pants*
Captain Jefferson: Are you ready?
Tim: Yes Captain.
State Trooper Pony: *Gets out of the Suburban*
Captain Jefferson: This is Neigh Jersey State Trooper Sargent Timothy Dunkirk.
State Trooper Pony: Hello.
Tim: Nice to meet you Sargent.
State Trooper Pony: We believe we've located the home of one of your suspects. Both of them could be there. We saw two trails left by snowmobiles from a picture on Google Maps.
Tim: Okay, let's go check it out. *Gets in the back of the Suburban with Julia*
State Trooper Pony: *Gets into the Suburban, and drives*
Jordan: *Arrives at Nick's house in his snowmobile*
Nick: *Walks out of a shed* You're here already?
Jordan: Yeah.
Nick: I'm refueling my snowmobile. Hang in there.
But then, that's when Tim, and Julia got to the front of the house. None of the stallions could see them.
Tim & Julia: *Put the snowmobiles into the snow*
State Trooper Pony: I'll wait here, and try to block them off.
Tim & Julia: *Start their snowmobiles, and ride to the back of the house*
Jordan: Do you hear that?
Nick: Just some more snowmobiles. So what?
Tim & Julia: *Arrive, and surround Jordan*
Jordan: Nick, it's the cops!! *Gets arrested*
Nick: *Takes off in his snowmobile* You cops are too slow!
Tim: *Rides after Nick*
Julia: *Walks towards the State Trooper Pony*
Nick: *Going 60 miles an hour*
Tim: *Catching up*
Nick: *Getting closer to the road*
Tim: *5 inches away from Nick*
Nick: *Grabs his hammer*
They went under a bridge on the round freeway, riding next to the railroad tracks.
Nick: *Sees Tim next to him, and hits his snowmobile with the hammer*
Tim: *Watches Nick try to make another swing, and grabs the hammer*
Nick: *Punches Tim in the rib cage*
Tim: Ah! *Lets go, and nearly falls*
Nick: *Rides towards him, and hits him again with the hammer*
Tim: Ah! *Scrapes the left side of his snowmobile on a tree. He grabs his gun, and shoots Nick twice*
Nick: *Falls off, and dies*
And now we're at the ending credits. Song: link
When you read the ending credits between the dialogue, the characters pause in place.
Tim: *Returns to Julia with the dead Nick*
Julia: *Takes Nick off his back, and looks at Tim*
Tim: *Points at the state trooper suburban, and tells Julia to get an ambulance*
Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
Rainbow Dash as Julia Rose
Julia: *Runs to the Suburban* Sarge, we need an ambulance, for Tim, and one of our suspects.
State Trooper Pony: What happened?
Julia: I think it's best if we let Tim tell us himself.
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
State Trooper Pony: *Talks on his radio* Car 82, still in Gran Turismo, contact the Gran Turismo General Hospital, we have two ponies that need an ambulance.
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
Julia: *Runs back to Tim*
Tim: *Falls down into the snow*
Julia: Are you okay?
Tim: I think I broke my leg.
Julia: The ambulance is coming. Here. *Helps Tim back up onto the snowmobile*
Red Velvet from DragonAura15
Tim: *Nods* Thanks.
Police cars furnished by Nissan, BMW, and Chevrolet
Julia: I hope you have a quick recovery.
Tim: Me too Julia. Me too.
Motorcycles furnished by Kawasaki
Julia: *Sees the ambulance, and carries Tim as she flies towards it*
The End
Gran Turismo, A SeanTheHedgehog & Dragonaura15 Production
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Pinkie Pie: No music in zhe entire episode? Unusual. Up next, On Zhe Block.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here until after the crossover parody ended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I was just asking. Sheesh.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody is... I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Leave it to me. Today's crossover parody is The Bob The Builder Show. This one combines Bob The Builder with The Bob Newhart Show.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Let's get it started.
The Bob The Builder Show
Starring Tom Foolery as Bob
Snow Wonder as Emily
Saten Twist as Mr. Carlin
Sunny as Carol
Mortomis as Jerry
Blaze as Mr. Peterson
Master Sword as Howard
Heartsong as Ms. Dubois
Bob the builder is no longer a builder. He has left all his talking vehicles behind, and decided to start practicing therapy. He now lives in Chicagoat with a mare he just married named Emily.
Bob: *At work*
Carol: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Carol. Do I have any patients coming over today?
Carol: Yeah, you have three.
Bob: Three patients. I wonder if they have any patience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: They aren't therapists like you Bob.
Bob: Forget it.
Jerry: *Walks in* Being a dentist sucks!
Colgate: *Appears out of nowhere* I resent that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Why? What happened?
Jerry: I was just checking the teeth of this pony, and he said I was scary.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: Maybe you're really terrible at your job.
Mr. Carlin, Mr. Peterson, and Ms. Dubois arrived.
Mr. Carlin: Come on Bob, let's get this started. I can't wait all day to make fun of these two weirdos.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Go into my office. I'll be with you.
Mr. Carlin: *Goes into Bob's office*
Mr. Peterson: *Follows Mr. Carlin*
Ms. Dubois: *Follows Mr. Peterson*
Bob: Carol, call my wife, and tell her I'll be back home in an hour.
Carol: You got it.
Bob: *Walks into his office*
Mr. Peterson: Don't you dare call me a spineless wuss.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What happened?
Mr. Carlin: I called him a spineless wuss.
Mr. Peterson: Because I was using light weights to work out yesterday.
Bob: How light were they?
Mr. Peterson: 1 pound.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Carlin: Need I say more.
Bob: Well, look. We have a problem, and when I have a problem, I like to fix it. So, now that we know what the problem is, it's time to use my catchphrase. Can we fix it?!
Mr. Carlin: Where the hell did you get that shitty catchphrase?
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, at Bob's apartment.
Bob: *Enters apartment*
Emily: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Emily.
Emily: How was work?
Bob: Somepony said he didn't like my catchphrase.
Emily: Well it is kind of annoying.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Howard: *Walks into apartment*
Audience: *Cheering*
Howard: Who said that?! *Looks around room, and it scared.* Bob! Your apartment is haunted!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What are you talking about?
Howard: I heard some ponies cheering, and laughing, and I don't know where it's coming from!
Bob: I didn't hear anything.
Emily: Neither did I.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Fine! If you won't make your apartment less haunted, I will!
Bob: What are you going to do?
Howard: I brought garlic to protect me!
Bob: That only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll stab any ghosts I see with a wooden stake.
Bob: Two problems with that plan. One, you can't see where the ghost is, and two, that only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll.... No, that only works on vampires.
Bob: What?
Howard: I was going to call ghostbusters.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the next part of this episode,
Saten Twist goes drag racing.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 7: On The Block Was Filmed In Front Of A Live Audience
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Inspecting the bottom of his car*
Tom: *Walks in* Where are you Saten Twist?
Saten Twist: Down here.
Tom: *Sees Saten Twist under a car* Did somepony run you over?
Saten Twist: In a garage?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That doesn't answer my question.
Saten Twist: No, I did not get run over.
Master Sword: *Arrives, and sees Saten Twist* Saten Twist got hit by a car!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Jesus christ. I am modifying my car for a drag race!!
Tom: What for?
Saten Twist: I want to win enough money so that I can buy a chainsaw.
Master Sword: Is that all you give a f**k about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Glares at Master Sword*
All three of them got in the car, and went towards a really long straight piece of road. They saw another car.
Tom: Looks like you're racing that station wagon.
Saten Twist: This will be too easy.
Master Sword: Then you'll get that unnecesary item you already have.
Saten Twist: It's longer than the one I currently have!
Master Sword: Ooh, it's longer! Who cares?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: *Revs engine on station wagon*
Saten Twist: Mortomis! You're drag racing me?
Mortomis: That's right. You're going down!!
They both rev their engines, and a pony stood in front of them holding a light.
Saten Twist: *Looking at Mortomis*
Mortomis: *Looking at Saten Twist*
Light Pony: *Turns on light*
Saten Twist & Mortomis: *Pass the light pony*
Tom: Come on Twisty!
Saten Twist: Don't call me that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: You're winning, keep going!
Saten Twist: I'm not slowing down! I'm winning!
Mortomis: *Passes Saten Twist, and crosses the finish line*
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Surprised* I lost to a station wagon!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's get to the skits before he tries to kill somepony.
Saten Twist: SOMEONE!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Who gives a shit?
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as Olive
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
Everypony in the bodyshop was getting ready for work. During that, they were talking about movies.
Olive: Who saw the new Hunger Games film?
Gary: You mean the first part of Mockingjay? I saw it.
Olive: Wasn't it awesome?
Gary: Yeah. I can't wait to see part 2.
Wheel Bearing: I didn't get to see it. I've been so busy with my family, that we don't get to go to the theater.
Olive: Why can't you be busy with your family at the theater.
Wheel Bearing: I was there with my son, and we watched Frozen. His head blew up.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Edwina: That's what all Disney films do to you.
Gary: What are you talking about? Disney made lots of great films.
Edwina: I just don't like Disney.
Olive: Why?
Edwina: Ask any jewish pony why, and you'll find out.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: I liked watching The Lion King.
Cutlass Supreme: My favorite Disney film was Oliver & Company.
Tim: What was that one about?
Cutlass Supreme: About a cat that lives in Manehattan.
Tim: Who wants to see a film about some cat joining the mafia?
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: Looks like somepony never saw the movie.
Mr. Beddler: *Arrives* What are you doing? You should be ready for work right now.
Gary: We were talking about movies.
Mr. Beddler: Talk about them on your own time. Otherwise, I'll show you a movie you'll never forget. It's so terrible you'll never forget it.
Gary: What is it?
Mr. Beddler: Django Unchained.
Gary: Actually, I like that film.
Audience: *Laughing*
Everypony shook their heads, saying they liked Django Unchained. Mr. Beddler was not amused.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Get to work! Danielle, I want you to practice using a grinder.
Danielle: Okay.
So Mr. Beddler, and Danielle got a sand grinder plugged into an airhose, and set up for work.
Mr. Beddler: Now to use one of these, you pull the trigger. The grinder you see here is a disc. We call them DA grinders. Now what you wanna do is use it on these spots I welded, and make the area feel really smooth. *Pulls trigger, and grinds the welded spots* There's a certain noise you'll hear when you grind the area too much.
This was the noise: link
Mr. Beddler: Hear it?!
Danielle: Yeah.
Mr. Beddler: *Stops grinding* Okay, now you try it. I gotta check on Gary, and Tim, to make sure they don't put paint on the painting booth windows.
Gary: *Painting the painting booth windows*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: Hurry up. We can't let anypony see what we're doing.
Gary: All good.
Tim: *Gets weed* Let's do this.
Audience: *Laughing*
Now Danielle was all by herself.
Danielle: Okay, so he said to grind the spots until that noise stops. Got it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: *Grinding one spot* No noise, good.
She only grinded the welding spots for only one second, because they didn't make the noise Danielle thought they were supposed to make. The areas she grinded were still uneven, then she started grinding the area Mr. Beddler did.
Danielle: *Hears noise as she grinds* Perfect. Now to keep grinding until it stops.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *Hears noise* What the hell? *Runs toward Danielle* Danielle, stop!!
Danielle: *Stops* What?
Mr. Beddler: You were grinding that area too much. What were you thinking?
Danielle: You said to keep grinding until that noise stopped.
Mr. Beddler: No, I said you stop when it makes that noise, because you grinded it too much.
Danielle: Then make up your mind!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Forget it. Go help Cutlass with the dent on that limo.
Up next is a new skit about assassins. Credit goes to Purrloinedlove for this idea.
Ass Ass Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring Rainbow Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic Rainbow as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Los Angeles. A place for many great events, and some bad ones as well.
Audience: *Laughing*
One of the hotels in this town is called the Ass Ass Inn. It's got a secret strip club run by two mares, but the main reason for it's name, is because it's a hotel for assassins only.
Ranger: What's our target for the day Mercury?
Mercury: Our target is to shoot down a green unicorn. He's a police officer that's been giving me trouble ever since I moved into this town.
Flashback
Police Pony: Hi.
Mercury: I don't like you.
Audience: *Laughing*
End flashback
Mercury: I need you to take him down. You'll get nine grand for the job.
Ranger: Sure thing.
Mercury: *Turns head, and sees Marisa with George* George, you either have her do that to you somewhere private, or don't do it at all!
Marisa: *Stands up*
George: Come on, she was just putting a tattoo on my hoof.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: You mean she wasn't...
George: No.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Ranger was set up on a rooftop.
Ranger: *Looking through rifle scope, and hears his phone go off. He answers the phone* Yes?
Pony: Hi, we work for Spamdex. How would you like to be annoyed by an endless supply of advertisements on the internet?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: How would you like to have your company go out of business?! *Hangs up*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Walking down street*
Ranger: *Aiming rifle at cop* Here we go.
Green Unicorn Cop: *Stops to answer a text message*
Ranger: *Shoots a bullet* Wait a sec, I'm shooting blanks!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Loads gun with real bullets*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Continues walking*
Pony: Hi, I work for Spamdex. Have we sent a virus to your computer yet?
Green Unicorn Cop: Spam yourself you weirdo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Shoots Green Unicorn Cop*
Ponies: *Freaking out, and running away*
Spamdex Pony: Remain calm! I work for Spamdex!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: Mission accomplished.
Back at the Ass Ass Inn.
Mercury: Nicely done.
Ranger: Thank you sir.
Mercury: No problem. Donovan, get off of Joanna!
Audience: *Laughing*
Donovan: It wasn't what you thought it was sir.
Joanna: He was pretending that I was a jetski, and that he was riding through big waves.
Mercury: You mean he wasn't...
Joanna: Of course not.
Donovan: I haven't done that to a mare since I graduated college.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next is a classroom skit
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
As some of you already know, some ponies despise going to school. Some of those ponies, are all the ones in Ms. Schultz's class.
Sunny: Geez, why do you always give us hard questions?
Gary: I got something hard, but I think you'll like it.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Lauren: These questions are so difficult!
Ms. Schultz: Complaining will not help.
Brianna: Sure it will. If we continue complaining for a certain amount of time, you'll get mad, and send us to the principal's office.
Ms. Schultz: No I won't.
James: But you're a teacher. You're supposed to get mad at us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Anyway, how are these questions hard? 8 * 64 = what?
Lauren: What is that thing between the 8, and 64?
Gary: Your pussy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, if you continue saying stuff like that, you'll have detention in the morning.
Gary: Whoop de do. I hate the morning. You'll be doing me a favor.
James: There's gotta be something you like about the morning.
Maria: What about the sunrise? Or the birds singing.
Gary: Or waking up, realizing that you have five days of torture in one week.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: At least next week, you have two full days, and an early dismissal.
James: What for?
Ms. Schultz: Thanksgiving weekend.
Gary: I hate thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
Ms. Schultz: Then I have the perfect idea.
On a thursday, when Ms. Schultz's room was dark, with a few lights on.
Ms. Schultz: Are you enjoying your morning detention?
Gary: Happy thanksgiving.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia was in her office when suddenly..
Derpy: *Enters office* Twilight Sparkle has started a new school, and has made you enroll for classes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: What are your thoughts about this?
Celestia: This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. I should be teaching that purple bitch! She robbed Pinkie Pie, and I punished Twilight by giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: She never should have robbed Pinkie Pie in the first place. This sucks! Now she's going to run a school that I'll be going to!
Later at the new school.
Twilight: Whad up niggas?
Audience: *Clapping*
Twilight: Let's start off our first day of school with some arithmetic. What is one plus one?
Link to how Pinkie Pie is talking: link
Pinkie Pie: Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: I'm pretty sure the answer is nein. My best friend Rarity told me.
Twilight: Unfortunately, you're wrong.
Pinkie Pie: Screw that sex addict for giving me the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Though, I'm pretty sure someone else is doing that to her already.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Okay, Rick Astley, why don't you try to answer?
Song: link
Rick Astley: *Rick rolling everyone*
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Rick Astley: We're no strangers to love! You know the rules, and so do I!
Twilight: *Stops song* Man, that song sucks, and you got the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Now it's your turn Celestia.
Celestia: The answer is two.
Twilight: And that's where you're wrong!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: WHAT?!
Twilight: Everypony knows the answer is window.
Audience: *Clapping*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Derpy: How was your first day of school?
Celestia: That's a stupid question you cross eyed dumbass. It was horrible! Twilight Sparkle not only runs the school, but she's my teacher! I told her that one, and one is two, but she said I was wrong. She sucks. I wanna get out of that school quickly!
Derpy: Princess, I think your crown is getting angry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back on the block
Master Sword: That's the end of this episode, but please be careful on the day after Thanksgiving.
Tom: Black Friday can be very dangerous. To prove it, here's a clip we got from the internet.
Pony 5: *Grabbing TV*
Pony 63: HEY! Get your hooves off that TV!
Pony 5: There's one just like this, go get your own TV.
Pony 63: *Punches Pony 5, and fights him on the ground*
Tom: If that's what Black Friday is like every year, I can imagine what it's like for African Equestrians.
Audience: *Laughing*
Black Ponies: *Shooting each other*
Black Pony 35: Shoot dat Nigga! He's tryin' to steal those rims for my '64 Chevy.
Black Pony 25: *Shoots Black pony*
Black Pony 35: Nopony steals my rims for my car. Happy n***er friday motherf**kers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I think that's all the time we have for today. See you after Thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Pinkie Pie: *Laughing* Wunderbar. Okay, see you in part 2, vhich vill start in 8:30. Until zhen, Auf wiedersehen.
Greetings everyone. Since my favorite time of the year, Halloween, is almost upon us, I wanted to do something very special. Sure, the same old “Top Ten Whatever” will still be there, and will be up every Saturday of the month, so expect five top tens every Saturday this month. But, even bigger news, thanks to my Corner of Horror article, I’ve got something REALLY special. And what might that be? Well, on October, for the next 31 days, I am going to pull out a random horror movie that I have lying around and review it. These reviews may not be as lengthy as most, but I will try my best to talk about a good (Or most likely bad) Horror movie. “But Wind, doesn’t Cinemassacre do this every October with Monster Madness?” Shut the hell up, I say to those who think that. Just enjoy this year of October, enjoy Halloween, and enjoy all the new Corner of Horrors coming up. I know I will.