Song: link
Tim: Hey how come our episodes aren't airing today?
Captain Jefferson: Two back to back episodes of different shows are on.
Master Sword: *Catches on fire* RAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!
Saten Twist: Find out who's responsible for this.
Tom: *Dressed as a Union soldier* Chaaaaaaarge!!! *Charges with three soldiers*
Thomas: *Blows his whistle twice, heading towards Tom, and his soldiers*
Tom: Retreat!!!!!! *Runs away from Thomas with the other soldiers*
Thomas: *Stops* Don't retreat from me. I'm really useful. Welcome to another segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm your host for the week, Thomas The Tank Engine.
Captain Jefferson, Tim, and Master Sword: Booo!!!!!
Thomas: Oh shut up. We have back to back episodes of Ponies On The Rails, followed by more back to back episodes of Adventures of Thomas & Friends. Enjoy. *Blows his whistle twice, and puffs away*
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 2: To Lease, or not to lease
August 1, 1950
It has been half a week since Coffee Creme's first day working on the Union Pacific. She's a hard worker, and normally works with Hawkeye, and together, they would have a special assignment. They were recieving it in Cheyenne at 9 O clock in the morning
Pete: Attention everypony! Listen up.
Workers: *gather around*
Pete: I've got an order of new engines coming in, but it's been delayed. So for the time being, we'll be leasing a few engines from the Baltimare & Ohio. Hawkeye, I need you, and Coffee Creme to go pick up the engines in St. Foalis. When you get them, bring the engines to the servicing facility here in Cheyenne.
Hawkeye: Sure thing.
Coffee Creme: We're on it sir.
Hawkeye: *walks to engine* Come on Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: Why do you want to get this finished in a hurry?
Hawkeye: Who said we were in a hurry? Pete wants all these steam engines replaced, and this is our opprotunity to prove to him that we don't need diesels to have a good railroad.
Coffee Creme: What are you saying?
Hawkeye: One of these days, every railroad in the United States will replace every single steam engine known to ponykind, in favor of diesels. It just makes me sick. *drives train*
Coffee Creme: What do you mean?
Hawkeye: Steam engines are the greatest, and they're going away possibly forever. I'll tell you one thing. We're not leasing any engines from any railroad. We're going to rescue them.
Coffee Creme: What if they're diesels?
Hawkeye: Then we sneak into the B&O engine facility, and get ourselves a few steamers.
Coffee Creme: And the engine we're driving?
Hawkeye: Leave them. They'll want these diesels if we're taking their steam engines.
Coffee Creme: Very well then.
When they arrived in St. Foalis
B&O worker: *sees Hawkeye's train*
Hawkeye: *stops train* Hey, how's it going?
B&O worker: Fine. Your engines are ready to be picked up.
Hawkeye: Oh, my controller made me stop here along the way. He said you can keep these engines in our train for a few of your Pacifics.
B&O worker: Really? Thanks.
Hawkeye: No, thank you. Where are the Pacifics.
B&O worker: Let me check with my boss. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: Well? Now what?
Hawkeye: We tell his boss the same story. In the meantime, just relax.
The B&O worker came back with his boss.
B&O boss: Ok, so you want to take three 4-6-2's in favor of these diesels?
Hawkeye: Yes sir.
B&O boss: Hm. There could be a problem with this.
Coffee Creme: What is it?
B&O Boss: Ah never mind, just a joke. Those three engines you want are over there. They're all yours.
Hawkeye: Thank you so much. *goes to engines*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Hawkeye: Now we have new engines for the line, and we have less diesels. Let's do this.
The two ponies got the first engine started up, and pulled the other two.
Hawkeye: Now we give these two a run on U.P rails.
Coffee Creme: hahaha!
In Cheyenne
Red Rose: *switching tracks* Orion, slow down a little will you?
Orion: Fine *slows down*
Hawkeye: *blows whistle*
Red Rose: *switches wrong track* Wha-?!
Orion: Seems like they got the engines.
Pete: *sees Hawkeye's engines* What happened? I thought I was leasing diesels here!
Hawkeye: Yeah about that. They didn't have any, and gave us these three engines instead.
Pete: Alright. Tomorrow, you, and Coffee Creme are going to carry a freight down into Greeley.
Hawkeye: Alright. See you tomorrow Pete.
Coffee Creme: Bye boss.
Snowflake: Hey, wait for me!
Honey: And me!
Hawkeye: Oh why not? The more the merrier.
Snowflake: Let's all hop in my station wagon.
Others: Sounds good!
Snowflake: Who's house are we going to today?
Gordon: Mine!
Hawkeye: No thank you, I'd rather stay healthy.
Gordon: Fine, but just think about what you're missing out on.
Hawkeye: A place owned poorly by an asshole.
Honey: I think we should all go to Gordon's.
Hawkeye: Well as long as I get to insult him in front of his wife.
Gordon: I don't have a wife!
Hawkeye: That's worse.
Eventually all five ponies went to Snowflake's. As usual. 10 minutes after their arrival, they were watching I Love Lucy
Gordon: *singing to themesong* bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored!
Hawkeye: You're so bored it's making us bored.
Coffee Creme: *laughs*
Gordon: Anything else with the word bored in it?
Hawkeye: Checkerbored.
Coffee Creme: Wooden bored.
Honey: Cutting bored.
Hawkeye: All abored!
Snowflake: Damnit, I wanted to say that.
Hawkeye: Too late.
Gordon: So what's with those three steam engines you brought over here?
Hawkeye: Those are the engines we're leasing.
Gordon: What about those two F3 diesels?
Hawkeye: There weren't any, so they gave us three pacifics.
Gordon: Shit!
Honey: What's the matter?
Gordon: I hate steam engines! That's why I told Pete to replace them!
Coffee Creme: How could you hate steam engines? They're more powerful then diesels are.
Gordon: But what about everything else?! Speed, effiency, pollution? Why do you think those diesels are being manufactured instead of steam?!
Hawkeye: Because some ponies are dumb, like you.
Gordon: Thanks Hawkeye, that really helped!
Hawkeye: Whatever, I'm going home.
Coffee Creme: Yeah me too.
Snowflake: Get out of my house Gordon.
Gordon: Fine *pushes snowflake*
Honey: *grabs snowflake* Are you alright?
Snowflake: I'm fine.
Gordon: HONEY! Let's go.
Next morning, Pete's new engines arrived.
Pete: Ah perfect. Ok Gordon, time to take those engines back.
Gordon: Yes sir. *climbs in pacific*
Red rose: *watching* This is definetly going to anger Hawkeye.
Gordon: *takes engines back to St. Foalis*
Hawkeye: *arrives* Whoa, wait a minute, what's going on?
Red Rose: Gordon is taking the engines you brought here away.
Pete: That's right. We have the new diesels I ordered.
Hawkeye: Oh great. Thanks.
But when Gordon arrived in St. Foalis.
B&O worker: *sees pacifics*
Gordon: Alright. We have new engines, and no longer need to use your engines. Thanks for letting us lease them.
B&O worker: What are you talking about? Your controller traded two diesels in favor those engines
Gordon: Did he now? Why would he do that?
B&O worker: I don't know pal. He's your controller. Not mine.
Gordon: Well we don't want these anymore. Give us our diesels back!
B&O worker: Ok, but they're painted in our railroad colors.
Gordon: You mean you painted them for the Baltimare & Ohio?!
B&O worker: Afraid so.
Gordon: Whatever, just bring them here.
Still, could be worse.
Gordon returned to Cheyenne with the two diesels, painted in B&O colors.
Pete: What is this? Did you steal these engines?!
Gordon: No sir! I-It was Hawkeye!! He set me up!
Pete: Hawkeye would never do something like that! Unlike you, he is a hard worker, delivers trains on time, and does not steal engines like what you've done!
Gordon: But- you've got to find him, and interrogate him about this!
Pete: No buts. He is in Greeley, and is lucky not to deal with you like I am right now. You are suspended from work with no pay for a month!
Gordon: Fuck!
Pete: Two months.
Gordon: Fine! *runs away*
At Greeley
Hawkeye: I don't know why Coffee Creme, but I feel like things are going our way.
Coffee Creme: What makes you say that?
Hawkeye: The anger of a very stupid pony.
Both: *laugh*
The End
Next up in Ponies On The Rails
When Gordon returns to work, he has to deliver a train with somepony he doesn't like.
The story will be called Enemies With Benefits
Thomas: And now for the second episode.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 3: Enemies With Benefits
October 2, 1950
Gordon returned to work after his suspension. He was happy to return, but little did he know that things would ultimately go bad for him.
Pete: Welcome back Gordon. Now repeat after me.
Gordon: What for?
Pete: Repeat after me! I will not do anything to disgrace this railroad.
Gordon: I will not do anything to disgrace this railroad.
Pete: Or anyone that works here
Gordon: Or anyone that works here.
Pete: I will do exactly what my boss tells me to do.
Gordon: I will do exactly what my boss tells me to do.
Pete: And I will not fuck with him in anyway.
Gordon: And I will not fuck with him in anyway.
Pete: Alright good. Now I have an assignment for you, and Hawkeye to do.
Gordon: I'm pretty sure you do.
Hawkeye: Mornin' boss.
Pete: Monin' Hawkeye. Come over here. I have an assignment for you to do with Gordon.
Hawkeye: WHAT?!
Pete: I have an assignment for you to do with Gordon.
Hawkeye: I heard you, but allow me to ask again. WHAT?!
Pete: For the last time! I have an assign-
Hawkeye: You told me that twice!!
Gordon: Pity. I wish you could tell him again. Why do we have to work together?
Pete: Coffee Creme is sick, and Orion is on another train with Honey, on their way to Dallas.
Hawkeye: Alright, what do we have to do?
Pete: Carry a huge freight train from here to Ogden Utah.
Hawkeye: What engines are we using?
Pete: Only one. For a freight train like this, you get to use one of our largest locomotives.
Gordon: Oh boy.
Hawkeye: Are you saying we get to drive a bigboy?!
Pete: Eeyup.
Hawkeye: Alright!! This is awesome!
Gordon: Don't get too excited.
Hawkeye: Don't get unexcited, let's go!
Pete: Good luck you two. I know you hate each other, but I'm sure you can complete this job with ease.
Hawkeye: Yes sir. *walks to train*
Gordon: Wait for me *follows*
At the train yard
Red Rose: *switching tracks*
Hawkeye: Hey Red Rose, guess what?!
Red Rose: You're driving a big boy to Ogden?
Hawkeye: Yeah, how'd you know?
Red Rose: I got a message from the boss. Your train is over there being checked.
Hawkeye: Thank you. *walks to train*
Red Rose: *spots Gordon* You're not working with Hawkeye, are you?
Gordon: Unfortunately I am.
Red Rose: Welp, he's gonna die a very unfortunate death.
Gordon: Don't give me that! You're just a yard operator!
Red Rose: That tells you what to do!
Gordon: Ugh *walks away*
Percy: Hi Hawkeye
Hawkeye: Hey, I thought you, and Jeff were supposed to fix tracks.
Jeff: Not today, we were told to work here for now.
Gordon: What are you doing servicing our engine?! Don't you know that you have to maintain track? You could be fired for doing different work without permission from the boss.
Percy: We were given permission from the boss.
Hawkeye: *blows whistle*
Jeff & Percy: AH!!
Hawkeye: Something tells me I won $4.
Percy: Aw fine! *gives Hawkeye $2*
Jeff: *gives hawkeye $2*
Hawkeye: Thanks you two.
Percy: Next time, we'll be prepared.
Gordon: Is everything ready?
Jeff: Yeah, it's fine. Just remember that the brakes may break when you're travelling at top speed which is 75 miles an hour.
Hawkeye: They don't call them brakes for nothing.
Percy & Jeff: *laugh*
Gordon: Let's just go, move it!
Percy & Jeff: *get out of way*
Red Rose: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *goes for lever*
Gordon: What are you doing?! I'm driving this train!
Hawkeye: Don't argue, I'm the one sitting closest, I'm the engineer *pulls lever*
The two stallions left the yard, and soon went on their way to Ogden.
Gordon: Ok, no cursing. This is my train, no cursing.
Hawkeye: Piss.
Gordon: Hey, what the hell did I just say?
Hawkeye: N*gger.
Gordon: Oh wow, are you deaf?
Hawkeye: Damnit.
Gordon: Still going. Really?
Hawkeye: Hell.
Gordon: Do you want me to jump out of this train?
Hawkeye: It'd be pretty nice.
Gordon: Well I'm not the one breaking rules here. So go shovel the coal, pronto.
Hawkeye: We'll be fine. When we get up to Sherman hill, then we'll need more coal. Get ready.
Gordon: This is going to be a long journey.
Hawkeye: Eeyup.
The train went up Sherman Hill, and Gordon was shoveling coal
Gordon: Hey, if you let me drive this train, I will be the happiest pony ever.
Hawkeye: *flicks Gordon*
Gordon: dadlhbndfgonlkesjgkodsfgbvdfljkgzx! YOU. Leave this train right now! If you're going to torturize me, then get off this train
Hawkeye: *flicks Gordon*
Gordon: Yoyoyoyo! Now, you're making me mad! Get the hell off this train.
Hawkeye: Nah, I kinda like it in here. We're not even halfway up, why have you stopped shoveling?
Gordon: Because that's what you should be doing.
Hawkeye: Says the one with the shovel.
Gordon: Fine! *shovels more coal*
At 15 miles an hour, they made it to the top of the hill.
Hawkeye: Alright, time to highball down the line. *pushes lever*
Gordon: How fast do you intend to go?
Hawkeye: 60.
Gordon: What?!
Hawkeye: 60
Gordon: I heard you, but that made me give the intention to ask again. What?!
Hawkeye: Well how fast do you want to go, 20?
Gordon: Shouldn't we be going 80?
Hawkeye: If we hit 75, and we try to stop, the brakes will break. Don't you remember?
Gordon: No, that's why I asked.
Hawkeye: Of course you don't remember. *looks at signal* Now we have to stay in this speed otherwise we crash into another train.
Gordon: No we won't! Move *pulls Hawkeye from controls*
Hawkeye: You are an idiot if you think you can do this!
Gordon: No I'm- Are you recording this?!?
Hawkeye: *holding camera* Yeah, because if we crash Pete will know which one of us to fire.
Gordon: You better give me that footage!
Hawkeye: *puts film in case* You want it? *holds it out window*
Gordon: NO! Don't put it there!
Hawkeye: Alright, you don't want it. Aaand it's gone!
Gordon: NO! *jumps out*
Hawkeye: Hahaha! *brings case back in engine* I didn't even let go.
Hawkeye then started to slow the train down. As he predicted, another train was in front of him, but the engine pulling it broke down.
Hawkeye: *puts train in siding*
Workers: *moves train out of way*
Hawkeye: How long do I have to wait here?
Worker: About 2 minutes.
Hawkeye: Ok. Thanks
Meanwhile with Gordon
Gordon: *looks for case* Where is that case?
Percy: *driving cart* Hey Gordon, what are you looking for?
Gordon: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
Percy: Sorry *takes off*
Gordon: Aha! I found the case. *opens case* WHAT?! There's no film in here!! AAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
Percy: *backs up* Are you alright? I know it's none of my business, but you seem upset right now.
Gordon: Yes, and I need your help with something. I accidentally fell out of Hawkeye's train. He's waiting for me at a siding. Take me to him.
Percy: Sure thing. Hop on
Gordon: *hops on cart*
Meanwhile with Hawkeye
engineers: It's all clear Hawkeye, you can go.
Hawkeye: Thank you. *pulls lever*
Percy: *driving cart*
Gordon: Shit! He's taking off without me.
Percy: Are you sure you're with him?
Gordon: Yes, I'm sure. *pushes Percy off cart*
engineers: Whoa! What's with that pony?
Percy: He has some vengeance to make.
engineers: Uh, ok.
Hawkeye: *going 30*
Gordon: *Following at 40*
Hawkeye: *gets onto mainline*
Gordon: Ugh! This train is in my way, and it's five miles long!! *puts on brakes*
But Gordon was getting closer to Hawkeye's train, and soon crashed into it.
In front of Hawkeye, a signal turned red.
Hawkeye: *stops train* What is it now?
Percy: *stops next to Hawkeye in truck* Hawkeye, come quick!
Hawkeye: *climbs out of cab* What happened?
Percy: Gordon pushed me out of a cart, and ran into your train.
Hawkeye: Oh damnit. *gets in truck*
Percy: *Drives*
Hawkeye: Wait, I forgot something. *jumps out of truck*
Percy: *stops* I'll bet another pony is falling out of another vehicle somewhere.
Hawkeye: *goes back in cab*
Percy: What is he doing?
Hawkeye: *grabs breifcase then kills fire*
Percy: *honks horn* Hurry up!
Hawkeye: *climbs out of cab, and runs to truck*
Percy: What were you doing?
Hawkeye: *gets in truck* Hollywood work. Let's go
Percy: *drives*
At the other side of the train
Gordon: *laying on ground*
Hawkeye: *sees Gordon*
Gordon: *sees briefcase* THERE IT IS!!!!
Doctors: Get him in the ambulance quickly.
Medics: *put Gordon in ambulance*
Doctors: Now how do we get back to the main road?
Percy: You'll have to follow me first. *drives back to engine*
Doctors: *follow in ambulance*
Percy: What is it with Gordon, and briefcases?
Hawkeye: He decided to be a working stallion for once.
Percy: What is that supposed to mean?
Hawkeye: He enjoyed being with me for once, and started loving his job. He was loving it so much that he wanted to get a briefcase. I have a bunch of things in here to keep me awake for my long job, and I'll need it in the future.
Percy: I'll bet you do.
Back to the ambulance,
Gordon: *jumps out*
Pete: What are you doing?!?
Gordon: Sir?! What are you doing here?
Pete: Checking to see if you're not on dope! I drove here, and when I heard you, and Hawkeye had some issues, I came here.
Gordon: No, there's a misunderstanding.
Pete: Oh yes there is, but you can't fool me. You're fired!
Gordon: what? Fired? No, no no no no no...
2 minutes later, back at cheyenne.
Gordon: ...No, NO NO!
Pete: Wow, you're really desperate.
Gordon: YES! I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired.
4 minutes later
Gordon: I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired.
Pete: l:(
Gordon: I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired.
Pete: That's enough. You're fired, and you will deal with it.
Snowflake: *watching* (I gotta tell Hawkeye this) *goes to teletype machine, and types* To Hawkeye from Snowflake. Gordon is fired.
The End
Next up in Ponies On The Rails
A Hollywood company wants to shoot a commercial for the Union Pacific.
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Thomas: Coming up at 8:30, back to back episodes of my show, Adventures of Thomas & Friends.
Saten Twist: Who cares?
Thomas: The fans do if you must know. Why are all of you ponies so mean?!
Tim: Hey how come our episodes aren't airing today?
Captain Jefferson: Two back to back episodes of different shows are on.
Master Sword: *Catches on fire* RAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!
Saten Twist: Find out who's responsible for this.
Tom: *Dressed as a Union soldier* Chaaaaaaarge!!! *Charges with three soldiers*
Thomas: *Blows his whistle twice, heading towards Tom, and his soldiers*
Tom: Retreat!!!!!! *Runs away from Thomas with the other soldiers*
Thomas: *Stops* Don't retreat from me. I'm really useful. Welcome to another segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm your host for the week, Thomas The Tank Engine.
Captain Jefferson, Tim, and Master Sword: Booo!!!!!
Thomas: Oh shut up. We have back to back episodes of Ponies On The Rails, followed by more back to back episodes of Adventures of Thomas & Friends. Enjoy. *Blows his whistle twice, and puffs away*
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 2: To Lease, or not to lease
August 1, 1950
It has been half a week since Coffee Creme's first day working on the Union Pacific. She's a hard worker, and normally works with Hawkeye, and together, they would have a special assignment. They were recieving it in Cheyenne at 9 O clock in the morning
Pete: Attention everypony! Listen up.
Workers: *gather around*
Pete: I've got an order of new engines coming in, but it's been delayed. So for the time being, we'll be leasing a few engines from the Baltimare & Ohio. Hawkeye, I need you, and Coffee Creme to go pick up the engines in St. Foalis. When you get them, bring the engines to the servicing facility here in Cheyenne.
Hawkeye: Sure thing.
Coffee Creme: We're on it sir.
Hawkeye: *walks to engine* Come on Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: Why do you want to get this finished in a hurry?
Hawkeye: Who said we were in a hurry? Pete wants all these steam engines replaced, and this is our opprotunity to prove to him that we don't need diesels to have a good railroad.
Coffee Creme: What are you saying?
Hawkeye: One of these days, every railroad in the United States will replace every single steam engine known to ponykind, in favor of diesels. It just makes me sick. *drives train*
Coffee Creme: What do you mean?
Hawkeye: Steam engines are the greatest, and they're going away possibly forever. I'll tell you one thing. We're not leasing any engines from any railroad. We're going to rescue them.
Coffee Creme: What if they're diesels?
Hawkeye: Then we sneak into the B&O engine facility, and get ourselves a few steamers.
Coffee Creme: And the engine we're driving?
Hawkeye: Leave them. They'll want these diesels if we're taking their steam engines.
Coffee Creme: Very well then.
When they arrived in St. Foalis
B&O worker: *sees Hawkeye's train*
Hawkeye: *stops train* Hey, how's it going?
B&O worker: Fine. Your engines are ready to be picked up.
Hawkeye: Oh, my controller made me stop here along the way. He said you can keep these engines in our train for a few of your Pacifics.
B&O worker: Really? Thanks.
Hawkeye: No, thank you. Where are the Pacifics.
B&O worker: Let me check with my boss. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: Well? Now what?
Hawkeye: We tell his boss the same story. In the meantime, just relax.
The B&O worker came back with his boss.
B&O boss: Ok, so you want to take three 4-6-2's in favor of these diesels?
Hawkeye: Yes sir.
B&O boss: Hm. There could be a problem with this.
Coffee Creme: What is it?
B&O Boss: Ah never mind, just a joke. Those three engines you want are over there. They're all yours.
Hawkeye: Thank you so much. *goes to engines*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Hawkeye: Now we have new engines for the line, and we have less diesels. Let's do this.
The two ponies got the first engine started up, and pulled the other two.
Hawkeye: Now we give these two a run on U.P rails.
Coffee Creme: hahaha!
In Cheyenne
Red Rose: *switching tracks* Orion, slow down a little will you?
Orion: Fine *slows down*
Hawkeye: *blows whistle*
Red Rose: *switches wrong track* Wha-?!
Orion: Seems like they got the engines.
Pete: *sees Hawkeye's engines* What happened? I thought I was leasing diesels here!
Hawkeye: Yeah about that. They didn't have any, and gave us these three engines instead.
Pete: Alright. Tomorrow, you, and Coffee Creme are going to carry a freight down into Greeley.
Hawkeye: Alright. See you tomorrow Pete.
Coffee Creme: Bye boss.
Snowflake: Hey, wait for me!
Honey: And me!
Hawkeye: Oh why not? The more the merrier.
Snowflake: Let's all hop in my station wagon.
Others: Sounds good!
Snowflake: Who's house are we going to today?
Gordon: Mine!
Hawkeye: No thank you, I'd rather stay healthy.
Gordon: Fine, but just think about what you're missing out on.
Hawkeye: A place owned poorly by an asshole.
Honey: I think we should all go to Gordon's.
Hawkeye: Well as long as I get to insult him in front of his wife.
Gordon: I don't have a wife!
Hawkeye: That's worse.
Eventually all five ponies went to Snowflake's. As usual. 10 minutes after their arrival, they were watching I Love Lucy
Gordon: *singing to themesong* bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored!
Hawkeye: You're so bored it's making us bored.
Coffee Creme: *laughs*
Gordon: Anything else with the word bored in it?
Hawkeye: Checkerbored.
Coffee Creme: Wooden bored.
Honey: Cutting bored.
Hawkeye: All abored!
Snowflake: Damnit, I wanted to say that.
Hawkeye: Too late.
Gordon: So what's with those three steam engines you brought over here?
Hawkeye: Those are the engines we're leasing.
Gordon: What about those two F3 diesels?
Hawkeye: There weren't any, so they gave us three pacifics.
Gordon: Shit!
Honey: What's the matter?
Gordon: I hate steam engines! That's why I told Pete to replace them!
Coffee Creme: How could you hate steam engines? They're more powerful then diesels are.
Gordon: But what about everything else?! Speed, effiency, pollution? Why do you think those diesels are being manufactured instead of steam?!
Hawkeye: Because some ponies are dumb, like you.
Gordon: Thanks Hawkeye, that really helped!
Hawkeye: Whatever, I'm going home.
Coffee Creme: Yeah me too.
Snowflake: Get out of my house Gordon.
Gordon: Fine *pushes snowflake*
Honey: *grabs snowflake* Are you alright?
Snowflake: I'm fine.
Gordon: HONEY! Let's go.
Next morning, Pete's new engines arrived.
Pete: Ah perfect. Ok Gordon, time to take those engines back.
Gordon: Yes sir. *climbs in pacific*
Red rose: *watching* This is definetly going to anger Hawkeye.
Gordon: *takes engines back to St. Foalis*
Hawkeye: *arrives* Whoa, wait a minute, what's going on?
Red Rose: Gordon is taking the engines you brought here away.
Pete: That's right. We have the new diesels I ordered.
Hawkeye: Oh great. Thanks.
But when Gordon arrived in St. Foalis.
B&O worker: *sees pacifics*
Gordon: Alright. We have new engines, and no longer need to use your engines. Thanks for letting us lease them.
B&O worker: What are you talking about? Your controller traded two diesels in favor those engines
Gordon: Did he now? Why would he do that?
B&O worker: I don't know pal. He's your controller. Not mine.
Gordon: Well we don't want these anymore. Give us our diesels back!
B&O worker: Ok, but they're painted in our railroad colors.
Gordon: You mean you painted them for the Baltimare & Ohio?!
B&O worker: Afraid so.
Gordon: Whatever, just bring them here.
Still, could be worse.
Gordon returned to Cheyenne with the two diesels, painted in B&O colors.
Pete: What is this? Did you steal these engines?!
Gordon: No sir! I-It was Hawkeye!! He set me up!
Pete: Hawkeye would never do something like that! Unlike you, he is a hard worker, delivers trains on time, and does not steal engines like what you've done!
Gordon: But- you've got to find him, and interrogate him about this!
Pete: No buts. He is in Greeley, and is lucky not to deal with you like I am right now. You are suspended from work with no pay for a month!
Gordon: Fuck!
Pete: Two months.
Gordon: Fine! *runs away*
At Greeley
Hawkeye: I don't know why Coffee Creme, but I feel like things are going our way.
Coffee Creme: What makes you say that?
Hawkeye: The anger of a very stupid pony.
Both: *laugh*
The End
Next up in Ponies On The Rails
When Gordon returns to work, he has to deliver a train with somepony he doesn't like.
The story will be called Enemies With Benefits
Thomas: And now for the second episode.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 3: Enemies With Benefits
October 2, 1950
Gordon returned to work after his suspension. He was happy to return, but little did he know that things would ultimately go bad for him.
Pete: Welcome back Gordon. Now repeat after me.
Gordon: What for?
Pete: Repeat after me! I will not do anything to disgrace this railroad.
Gordon: I will not do anything to disgrace this railroad.
Pete: Or anyone that works here
Gordon: Or anyone that works here.
Pete: I will do exactly what my boss tells me to do.
Gordon: I will do exactly what my boss tells me to do.
Pete: And I will not fuck with him in anyway.
Gordon: And I will not fuck with him in anyway.
Pete: Alright good. Now I have an assignment for you, and Hawkeye to do.
Gordon: I'm pretty sure you do.
Hawkeye: Mornin' boss.
Pete: Monin' Hawkeye. Come over here. I have an assignment for you to do with Gordon.
Hawkeye: WHAT?!
Pete: I have an assignment for you to do with Gordon.
Hawkeye: I heard you, but allow me to ask again. WHAT?!
Pete: For the last time! I have an assign-
Hawkeye: You told me that twice!!
Gordon: Pity. I wish you could tell him again. Why do we have to work together?
Pete: Coffee Creme is sick, and Orion is on another train with Honey, on their way to Dallas.
Hawkeye: Alright, what do we have to do?
Pete: Carry a huge freight train from here to Ogden Utah.
Hawkeye: What engines are we using?
Pete: Only one. For a freight train like this, you get to use one of our largest locomotives.
Gordon: Oh boy.
Hawkeye: Are you saying we get to drive a bigboy?!
Pete: Eeyup.
Hawkeye: Alright!! This is awesome!
Gordon: Don't get too excited.
Hawkeye: Don't get unexcited, let's go!
Pete: Good luck you two. I know you hate each other, but I'm sure you can complete this job with ease.
Hawkeye: Yes sir. *walks to train*
Gordon: Wait for me *follows*
At the train yard
Red Rose: *switching tracks*
Hawkeye: Hey Red Rose, guess what?!
Red Rose: You're driving a big boy to Ogden?
Hawkeye: Yeah, how'd you know?
Red Rose: I got a message from the boss. Your train is over there being checked.
Hawkeye: Thank you. *walks to train*
Red Rose: *spots Gordon* You're not working with Hawkeye, are you?
Gordon: Unfortunately I am.
Red Rose: Welp, he's gonna die a very unfortunate death.
Gordon: Don't give me that! You're just a yard operator!
Red Rose: That tells you what to do!
Gordon: Ugh *walks away*
Percy: Hi Hawkeye
Hawkeye: Hey, I thought you, and Jeff were supposed to fix tracks.
Jeff: Not today, we were told to work here for now.
Gordon: What are you doing servicing our engine?! Don't you know that you have to maintain track? You could be fired for doing different work without permission from the boss.
Percy: We were given permission from the boss.
Hawkeye: *blows whistle*
Jeff & Percy: AH!!
Hawkeye: Something tells me I won $4.
Percy: Aw fine! *gives Hawkeye $2*
Jeff: *gives hawkeye $2*
Hawkeye: Thanks you two.
Percy: Next time, we'll be prepared.
Gordon: Is everything ready?
Jeff: Yeah, it's fine. Just remember that the brakes may break when you're travelling at top speed which is 75 miles an hour.
Hawkeye: They don't call them brakes for nothing.
Percy & Jeff: *laugh*
Gordon: Let's just go, move it!
Percy & Jeff: *get out of way*
Red Rose: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: *goes for lever*
Gordon: What are you doing?! I'm driving this train!
Hawkeye: Don't argue, I'm the one sitting closest, I'm the engineer *pulls lever*
The two stallions left the yard, and soon went on their way to Ogden.
Gordon: Ok, no cursing. This is my train, no cursing.
Hawkeye: Piss.
Gordon: Hey, what the hell did I just say?
Hawkeye: N*gger.
Gordon: Oh wow, are you deaf?
Hawkeye: Damnit.
Gordon: Still going. Really?
Hawkeye: Hell.
Gordon: Do you want me to jump out of this train?
Hawkeye: It'd be pretty nice.
Gordon: Well I'm not the one breaking rules here. So go shovel the coal, pronto.
Hawkeye: We'll be fine. When we get up to Sherman hill, then we'll need more coal. Get ready.
Gordon: This is going to be a long journey.
Hawkeye: Eeyup.
The train went up Sherman Hill, and Gordon was shoveling coal
Gordon: Hey, if you let me drive this train, I will be the happiest pony ever.
Hawkeye: *flicks Gordon*
Gordon: dadlhbndfgonlkesjgkodsfgbvdfljkgzx! YOU. Leave this train right now! If you're going to torturize me, then get off this train
Hawkeye: *flicks Gordon*
Gordon: Yoyoyoyo! Now, you're making me mad! Get the hell off this train.
Hawkeye: Nah, I kinda like it in here. We're not even halfway up, why have you stopped shoveling?
Gordon: Because that's what you should be doing.
Hawkeye: Says the one with the shovel.
Gordon: Fine! *shovels more coal*
At 15 miles an hour, they made it to the top of the hill.
Hawkeye: Alright, time to highball down the line. *pushes lever*
Gordon: How fast do you intend to go?
Hawkeye: 60.
Gordon: What?!
Hawkeye: 60
Gordon: I heard you, but that made me give the intention to ask again. What?!
Hawkeye: Well how fast do you want to go, 20?
Gordon: Shouldn't we be going 80?
Hawkeye: If we hit 75, and we try to stop, the brakes will break. Don't you remember?
Gordon: No, that's why I asked.
Hawkeye: Of course you don't remember. *looks at signal* Now we have to stay in this speed otherwise we crash into another train.
Gordon: No we won't! Move *pulls Hawkeye from controls*
Hawkeye: You are an idiot if you think you can do this!
Gordon: No I'm- Are you recording this?!?
Hawkeye: *holding camera* Yeah, because if we crash Pete will know which one of us to fire.
Gordon: You better give me that footage!
Hawkeye: *puts film in case* You want it? *holds it out window*
Gordon: NO! Don't put it there!
Hawkeye: Alright, you don't want it. Aaand it's gone!
Gordon: NO! *jumps out*
Hawkeye: Hahaha! *brings case back in engine* I didn't even let go.
Hawkeye then started to slow the train down. As he predicted, another train was in front of him, but the engine pulling it broke down.
Hawkeye: *puts train in siding*
Workers: *moves train out of way*
Hawkeye: How long do I have to wait here?
Worker: About 2 minutes.
Hawkeye: Ok. Thanks
Meanwhile with Gordon
Gordon: *looks for case* Where is that case?
Percy: *driving cart* Hey Gordon, what are you looking for?
Gordon: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
Percy: Sorry *takes off*
Gordon: Aha! I found the case. *opens case* WHAT?! There's no film in here!! AAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
Percy: *backs up* Are you alright? I know it's none of my business, but you seem upset right now.
Gordon: Yes, and I need your help with something. I accidentally fell out of Hawkeye's train. He's waiting for me at a siding. Take me to him.
Percy: Sure thing. Hop on
Gordon: *hops on cart*
Meanwhile with Hawkeye
engineers: It's all clear Hawkeye, you can go.
Hawkeye: Thank you. *pulls lever*
Percy: *driving cart*
Gordon: Shit! He's taking off without me.
Percy: Are you sure you're with him?
Gordon: Yes, I'm sure. *pushes Percy off cart*
engineers: Whoa! What's with that pony?
Percy: He has some vengeance to make.
engineers: Uh, ok.
Hawkeye: *going 30*
Gordon: *Following at 40*
Hawkeye: *gets onto mainline*
Gordon: Ugh! This train is in my way, and it's five miles long!! *puts on brakes*
But Gordon was getting closer to Hawkeye's train, and soon crashed into it.
In front of Hawkeye, a signal turned red.
Hawkeye: *stops train* What is it now?
Percy: *stops next to Hawkeye in truck* Hawkeye, come quick!
Hawkeye: *climbs out of cab* What happened?
Percy: Gordon pushed me out of a cart, and ran into your train.
Hawkeye: Oh damnit. *gets in truck*
Percy: *Drives*
Hawkeye: Wait, I forgot something. *jumps out of truck*
Percy: *stops* I'll bet another pony is falling out of another vehicle somewhere.
Hawkeye: *goes back in cab*
Percy: What is he doing?
Hawkeye: *grabs breifcase then kills fire*
Percy: *honks horn* Hurry up!
Hawkeye: *climbs out of cab, and runs to truck*
Percy: What were you doing?
Hawkeye: *gets in truck* Hollywood work. Let's go
Percy: *drives*
At the other side of the train
Gordon: *laying on ground*
Hawkeye: *sees Gordon*
Gordon: *sees briefcase* THERE IT IS!!!!
Doctors: Get him in the ambulance quickly.
Medics: *put Gordon in ambulance*
Doctors: Now how do we get back to the main road?
Percy: You'll have to follow me first. *drives back to engine*
Doctors: *follow in ambulance*
Percy: What is it with Gordon, and briefcases?
Hawkeye: He decided to be a working stallion for once.
Percy: What is that supposed to mean?
Hawkeye: He enjoyed being with me for once, and started loving his job. He was loving it so much that he wanted to get a briefcase. I have a bunch of things in here to keep me awake for my long job, and I'll need it in the future.
Percy: I'll bet you do.
Back to the ambulance,
Gordon: *jumps out*
Pete: What are you doing?!?
Gordon: Sir?! What are you doing here?
Pete: Checking to see if you're not on dope! I drove here, and when I heard you, and Hawkeye had some issues, I came here.
Gordon: No, there's a misunderstanding.
Pete: Oh yes there is, but you can't fool me. You're fired!
Gordon: what? Fired? No, no no no no no...
2 minutes later, back at cheyenne.
Gordon: ...No, NO NO!
Pete: Wow, you're really desperate.
Gordon: YES! I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired.
4 minutes later
Gordon: I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired.
Pete: l:(
Gordon: I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired. I don't wanna be fired.
Pete: That's enough. You're fired, and you will deal with it.
Snowflake: *watching* (I gotta tell Hawkeye this) *goes to teletype machine, and types* To Hawkeye from Snowflake. Gordon is fired.
The End
Next up in Ponies On The Rails
A Hollywood company wants to shoot a commercial for the Union Pacific.
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Thomas: Coming up at 8:30, back to back episodes of my show, Adventures of Thomas & Friends.
Saten Twist: Who cares?
Thomas: The fans do if you must know. Why are all of you ponies so mean?!