(Please be advised that there's some more mature humor in this, thanks in advance!)
Shadow the Hedgehog. A huge gaming icon and certainly one of the most popular anti-heroes of all time. He's made many appearances throughout the Sonic series, and will always be loved in the hearts of many.
....Which brings me to the conclusion that he is EVIL! Yeah, a hedgehog named Shadow is evil, WHO WOULD'VE FUCKING GUESSED IT!?
So without further ado, I'm your host Ethan Bradberry and let's get RIGHT into the fucking news.
1. His name is Shadow for God's sake. And we're original. Trust me. ;)
2. It doesn't matter WHO'S side you're on. If Shadow's around, then chances are, you're ass is gonna get shot. Don't believe me? You've clearly never played Shadow the Hedgehog.
3. He's not even IN half of the damn Sonic games anymore, and how much more evil can you get then leaving Sonic all alone during lunch break?
.....It's some real heart-breaking shit, not spreading blood on the picnic basket for once. :(
4. Guns are evil. Unless it's RoboCop, in which case break out the old notepad and get all the fucking autographs you can possibly obtain.
And yeah, they gave Shadow guns. Where the hell was that shit when I was playing Sonic Heroes?
5. He was created by Dr. Gerald using Black Doom's DNA, and lord knows that anything involving experiments turn out evil.
TV Tropes, hop on it.
6. Shadow's black, and anything that's black is obviously evil. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out....
OH SWEET JESUS THAT SOUNDS SO RACIST-
7. He's also red. And my English class taught me that red symbolically represents something along the lines of-
OH SHIT BLOODY MURDER AND EDGY STUFFZ WE'RE ALL FUCKED! 😲
8. You can tell Shadow's evil because he's always SERIOUS and MEAN and FUCKING HARDCORE.
......Stereotypes for the win?
(ALSO PLEASE SPONSOR ME TV TROPES)
9. His energy attacks are literally labeled as Chaos Energy. Granted, Super Sonic and many others can use this power, but Shadow is the primary user of it.
Chaos=Evil
IT TOOK ME YEARS OF COLLEGE TO FIGURE THAT OUT SO YOU BETTER DAMN APPRECIATE IT!
10. He's Black. Black=Bill Cosby.
Yep. You heard it first here, the latest and newest conspiracy theory. And clearly, anything even remotely representing that guy is OBVIOUSLY evil.
...
........
.................
I'm going STRAIGHT to Hell for that one. JUST ROLL THE CREDITS BEFORE I HEAR THE POLICE SIRENS. :P
-Original Topics Inc.
Shadow the Hedgehog. A huge gaming icon and certainly one of the most popular anti-heroes of all time. He's made many appearances throughout the Sonic series, and will always be loved in the hearts of many.
....Which brings me to the conclusion that he is EVIL! Yeah, a hedgehog named Shadow is evil, WHO WOULD'VE FUCKING GUESSED IT!?
So without further ado, I'm your host Ethan Bradberry and let's get RIGHT into the fucking news.
1. His name is Shadow for God's sake. And we're original. Trust me. ;)
2. It doesn't matter WHO'S side you're on. If Shadow's around, then chances are, you're ass is gonna get shot. Don't believe me? You've clearly never played Shadow the Hedgehog.
3. He's not even IN half of the damn Sonic games anymore, and how much more evil can you get then leaving Sonic all alone during lunch break?
.....It's some real heart-breaking shit, not spreading blood on the picnic basket for once. :(
4. Guns are evil. Unless it's RoboCop, in which case break out the old notepad and get all the fucking autographs you can possibly obtain.
And yeah, they gave Shadow guns. Where the hell was that shit when I was playing Sonic Heroes?
5. He was created by Dr. Gerald using Black Doom's DNA, and lord knows that anything involving experiments turn out evil.
TV Tropes, hop on it.
6. Shadow's black, and anything that's black is obviously evil. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out....
OH SWEET JESUS THAT SOUNDS SO RACIST-
7. He's also red. And my English class taught me that red symbolically represents something along the lines of-
OH SHIT BLOODY MURDER AND EDGY STUFFZ WE'RE ALL FUCKED! 😲
8. You can tell Shadow's evil because he's always SERIOUS and MEAN and FUCKING HARDCORE.
......Stereotypes for the win?
(ALSO PLEASE SPONSOR ME TV TROPES)
9. His energy attacks are literally labeled as Chaos Energy. Granted, Super Sonic and many others can use this power, but Shadow is the primary user of it.
Chaos=Evil
IT TOOK ME YEARS OF COLLEGE TO FIGURE THAT OUT SO YOU BETTER DAMN APPRECIATE IT!
10. He's Black. Black=Bill Cosby.
Yep. You heard it first here, the latest and newest conspiracy theory. And clearly, anything even remotely representing that guy is OBVIOUSLY evil.
...
........
.................
I'm going STRAIGHT to Hell for that one. JUST ROLL THE CREDITS BEFORE I HEAR THE POLICE SIRENS. :P
-Original Topics Inc.