Announcer: This is R.A.T. News. Giving you the most recent news of today. Here’s your host, Michael Rekk
Michael: Good evening. Tonight, once a singer, now a low life man slut. National pop singer, Malcolm Jacobs, has just been seen disgracing the public with his bizarre outfit. During a concert, what he did was inexcusable. He lifted his arms into the air, lifting his shirt up, showing just a bit too much… or his stomach. Truly, a traumatizing scene for everyone. Let us go live, to the witness at the scene.
Actor: I remember when Malcolm Jacobs was once a great guy, but now… (turns page in script) Now I see him as nothing but a madman.
Michael: Well there you have it. Let us ignore the millions of charities he’s donated to, and look at Malcolm as nothing more than a menace to society
Announcer: R.A.T. News. We don’t believe in the word privacy
Cody: I can’t believe he would do a thing like that
James: It’s just disgusting
Amanda: Unforgivable
Wind: (Pressing his hands against his face in annoyance) Oh my god, who fucking cares?
James: Who cares? The world cares, Wind.
Wind: It’s a celebrity. It’s no different from other people. Why should people care what he does. The same thing happened to the meth dealer down the street yesterday. No one gave a shit about that? What makes Malcolm Jacobs so different
Cody: He’s famous. He should know better
Wind: It’s a mistake that can happen to anyone.
Amanda: He’s different
Wind: How!? How is he different!?
Cody: You just wouldn’t understand
Wind: Yeah, I guess not
(The TV in the room cuts to the news)
Michael: Tonight. More insanity from Malcolm Jacobs
(Everyone but Wind immediately is interested)
Michael: This shot of Malcolm Jacobs reveals him driving two miles above the speed limit. Malcolm Jacobs appears to be more than just a madman. He’s become a common criminal. Today, speeding tickets. Tomorrow, full blown terrorism
Announcer: R.A.T. News. Ruining celebrities lives since the days of the newspaper
Cody: I knew he was a lowlife criminal
Wind: Oh my god (Walks out of the house as the others talk)
Wind: (Sitting at coffee shop)
???: Hey, mind if I sit here
Wind: Actually yes-
???: (Sits down) You don’t have a camera, do you?
Wind: I don’t even have a phone
???: Good. Good…….
Wind: What do you want
???: Listen, can I tell you a secret
Wind: ….. What?
???: (Takes his sunglasses off) I’m Malcolm Jacobs
Wind: ………… Whatever (Drinks coffee)
Malcolm: Aren’t you excited?
Wind: Not a goddamn bit
Malcolm: Great. Than your perfect
Wind: For what?
Malcolm: I need someone to get me to Mexico. I’m not as popular there. They won’t care about me there. I’ve had it with this fame and the paparazzi never leaving me alone. We’ve gotta get out of here
Wind: Why do you need my help?
Malcolm: Because you look like the kind of person who doesn’t give a shit about what the news says
Wind: The media’s nothing but a bunch of lies and slander, made to make up stories to make the country or some random politician look good and hide the real truth
Malcolm: Perfect. That’s what I need. Come on, let’s go
Wind: Why do I always get involved in this kind of shit (Follows him)
Malcolm: Okay, we just need to make sure no one see’s us-
Paparazzi: Hey, look. It’s Malcolm Jacobs. And he’s with a minor. (Gasps) He’s become a pedophile
Wind: I’m seventeen
Paparazzi: Still a minor. Let’s take pictures and not call the police (They all take pictures)
Malcolm Jacobs: No, stop it!
Wind: Shit…. Uh (See’s two black people, and throws a shoe at one of their heads)
Black Man 1: (Turns to Black Man 2) Hey, did you hit me
Black Man 2: Maybe I did
Black Man 1: (Shoves Black Man 2)
Black Man 2: (Punches Black Man 1)
(They both begin fighting)
Wind: Hey, look. Black people fighting
(The Paparazzi turns to the fight)
Wind: Quick. We’ve only got ten minutes before they stop fighting (He and Malcolm runs)
(Malcolm and Wind keep drive until they reach the border)
Malcolm: We’ve finally made it to the Mexico border
Wind: Think you’ll be alright after this
Malcolm: I’m sure I will (Walks to the gate)
Border Patrol: Hey, aren’t you Malcolm Jacobs? The guy who was caught with a minor
Malcolm Jacobs: W-what?!
Border Patrol: Yeah, you are.
Malcolm Jacobs: I thought I wouldn’t be noticed in Mexico
Border Patrol: Please, anything can come into Mexico. Especially celebrity news
Malcolm Jacobs: N-no… No! (Runs off)
Wind: Malcolm, where are you going
Malcolm Jacobs: (Stands on a train track) I can’t take it anymore!
Wind: Is anyone gonna help him
Paparazzi: We could… But this is some juicy news
Wind: You people are fucking scum (To Malcolm) Malcolm. I know it’s hard to deal with idiots. I would know, my town’s full of them. But you just gotta deal with them
Malcolm Jacobs: But they keep invading my privacy
Wind: You can just leave the singing industry. Do what you can. They won’t invade the life of a normal man. If you’re a normal man, they can’t make stories about you. You can live a normal and happy life that way
Malcolm Jacobs: …. You’re right Wind
Wind: I am?
Malcolm Jacobs: I don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna die. I wanna live! You hear that everyone!? I wanna live! I wanna- (Gets hit by a train)
Wind: (Standing in front of Malcolm’s grave) Well… Sorry it had to come to this, Malcolm. But, you know, maybe now, what with you being dead and all, maybe now people may leave you alone and respect you for who you were. Not a fucking creep. Maybe, just maybe, the media may talk about you. The real you. Not some made up story
Announcer: This is R.A.T. News
Michael: Tonight, at the funeral for Malcolm Jacobs, it was found that he was actually wearing a white suit and not a black one. Could this be the sign of a racist pig? Even in death, he still has no dignity.
Announcer: R.A.T. News. We really are the worst scum in humanity
Wind: Goddamn it
Michael: Good evening. Tonight, once a singer, now a low life man slut. National pop singer, Malcolm Jacobs, has just been seen disgracing the public with his bizarre outfit. During a concert, what he did was inexcusable. He lifted his arms into the air, lifting his shirt up, showing just a bit too much… or his stomach. Truly, a traumatizing scene for everyone. Let us go live, to the witness at the scene.
Actor: I remember when Malcolm Jacobs was once a great guy, but now… (turns page in script) Now I see him as nothing but a madman.
Michael: Well there you have it. Let us ignore the millions of charities he’s donated to, and look at Malcolm as nothing more than a menace to society
Announcer: R.A.T. News. We don’t believe in the word privacy
Cody: I can’t believe he would do a thing like that
James: It’s just disgusting
Amanda: Unforgivable
Wind: (Pressing his hands against his face in annoyance) Oh my god, who fucking cares?
James: Who cares? The world cares, Wind.
Wind: It’s a celebrity. It’s no different from other people. Why should people care what he does. The same thing happened to the meth dealer down the street yesterday. No one gave a shit about that? What makes Malcolm Jacobs so different
Cody: He’s famous. He should know better
Wind: It’s a mistake that can happen to anyone.
Amanda: He’s different
Wind: How!? How is he different!?
Cody: You just wouldn’t understand
Wind: Yeah, I guess not
(The TV in the room cuts to the news)
Michael: Tonight. More insanity from Malcolm Jacobs
(Everyone but Wind immediately is interested)
Michael: This shot of Malcolm Jacobs reveals him driving two miles above the speed limit. Malcolm Jacobs appears to be more than just a madman. He’s become a common criminal. Today, speeding tickets. Tomorrow, full blown terrorism
Announcer: R.A.T. News. Ruining celebrities lives since the days of the newspaper
Cody: I knew he was a lowlife criminal
Wind: Oh my god (Walks out of the house as the others talk)
Wind: (Sitting at coffee shop)
???: Hey, mind if I sit here
Wind: Actually yes-
???: (Sits down) You don’t have a camera, do you?
Wind: I don’t even have a phone
???: Good. Good…….
Wind: What do you want
???: Listen, can I tell you a secret
Wind: ….. What?
???: (Takes his sunglasses off) I’m Malcolm Jacobs
Wind: ………… Whatever (Drinks coffee)
Malcolm: Aren’t you excited?
Wind: Not a goddamn bit
Malcolm: Great. Than your perfect
Wind: For what?
Malcolm: I need someone to get me to Mexico. I’m not as popular there. They won’t care about me there. I’ve had it with this fame and the paparazzi never leaving me alone. We’ve gotta get out of here
Wind: Why do you need my help?
Malcolm: Because you look like the kind of person who doesn’t give a shit about what the news says
Wind: The media’s nothing but a bunch of lies and slander, made to make up stories to make the country or some random politician look good and hide the real truth
Malcolm: Perfect. That’s what I need. Come on, let’s go
Wind: Why do I always get involved in this kind of shit (Follows him)
Malcolm: Okay, we just need to make sure no one see’s us-
Paparazzi: Hey, look. It’s Malcolm Jacobs. And he’s with a minor. (Gasps) He’s become a pedophile
Wind: I’m seventeen
Paparazzi: Still a minor. Let’s take pictures and not call the police (They all take pictures)
Malcolm Jacobs: No, stop it!
Wind: Shit…. Uh (See’s two black people, and throws a shoe at one of their heads)
Black Man 1: (Turns to Black Man 2) Hey, did you hit me
Black Man 2: Maybe I did
Black Man 1: (Shoves Black Man 2)
Black Man 2: (Punches Black Man 1)
(They both begin fighting)
Wind: Hey, look. Black people fighting
(The Paparazzi turns to the fight)
Wind: Quick. We’ve only got ten minutes before they stop fighting (He and Malcolm runs)
(Malcolm and Wind keep drive until they reach the border)
Malcolm: We’ve finally made it to the Mexico border
Wind: Think you’ll be alright after this
Malcolm: I’m sure I will (Walks to the gate)
Border Patrol: Hey, aren’t you Malcolm Jacobs? The guy who was caught with a minor
Malcolm Jacobs: W-what?!
Border Patrol: Yeah, you are.
Malcolm Jacobs: I thought I wouldn’t be noticed in Mexico
Border Patrol: Please, anything can come into Mexico. Especially celebrity news
Malcolm Jacobs: N-no… No! (Runs off)
Wind: Malcolm, where are you going
Malcolm Jacobs: (Stands on a train track) I can’t take it anymore!
Wind: Is anyone gonna help him
Paparazzi: We could… But this is some juicy news
Wind: You people are fucking scum (To Malcolm) Malcolm. I know it’s hard to deal with idiots. I would know, my town’s full of them. But you just gotta deal with them
Malcolm Jacobs: But they keep invading my privacy
Wind: You can just leave the singing industry. Do what you can. They won’t invade the life of a normal man. If you’re a normal man, they can’t make stories about you. You can live a normal and happy life that way
Malcolm Jacobs: …. You’re right Wind
Wind: I am?
Malcolm Jacobs: I don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna die. I wanna live! You hear that everyone!? I wanna live! I wanna- (Gets hit by a train)
Wind: (Standing in front of Malcolm’s grave) Well… Sorry it had to come to this, Malcolm. But, you know, maybe now, what with you being dead and all, maybe now people may leave you alone and respect you for who you were. Not a fucking creep. Maybe, just maybe, the media may talk about you. The real you. Not some made up story
Announcer: This is R.A.T. News
Michael: Tonight, at the funeral for Malcolm Jacobs, it was found that he was actually wearing a white suit and not a black one. Could this be the sign of a racist pig? Even in death, he still has no dignity.
Announcer: R.A.T. News. We really are the worst scum in humanity
Wind: Goddamn it