(The following is not meant to be taken seriously. Please do not murder and then sue me)
So, you failed at everything else in life and want to become Youtube famous? Well, it’s your lucky day, you sad fuck, because I am going to tell you how you can become internet famous in just five easy ways.
Step 1: Do A Review
Now, your review (Or rather, your pointless opinion that no one gives a shit about) is what makes a perfect review. Weather it’s movie, or tv shows, or anime, or the most overused of them, games, you too can be the perfect whore by pleasuring companies with a folded hundred dollar bill by talking about how good their product is just by reviewing it and talking some good shit, when secretly, you're as much of a sellout as the company is, but at least you get a free DVD and subscribers out of it.
Step 2: Play a Video Game
If you got money to burn (Which you don’t, because why else would you be here), you can buy the latest game, game console, capture card, big ass fucking computer, expensive headset, and gather all you’re equally as untalented friends over and play some games while shouting, because people losing their shit is comedy gold to five-year-olds, because they too are dipshits.
Step 3: Make a Vine
Just like the grapevines of California, it was made by Mexicans so the white man can profit in the end. If you want to look like a massive dumbass, just get the lowest quality camera you can find (Your phone is shitty enough), and just say a bunch of unfunny shit. After which, you can overdose on those pills in your dad’s cabinet, because you will only get 50 views a video, cause you’re jokes fucking suck
Step 4: Make a Music Video
The best way to make a song is by making it off of two ways. You can either make it based off of the hit open-world game for neckbeards and pedophiles, Minecrap. Or, the popular horror game that has taken over Tumblr like a fucking parasite, Five Nights at Fucktards. Or you can make a parody of the latest pop song or rapping sellout. Just expect Youtube to take it down within ten seconds.
Step 5: React to Videos
If you are a complete talentless fucking hack, fret not. You can still manage to make millions of dollars. All you gotta do is take a video that someone (More specifically someone with some talent), and just film yourself watching it. It’s the perfect way to make money, especially if you stand there like a fucking plank of wood and not say a goddamn thing, or talking over the video, thinking people really come here to watch you
If all else fails, just make five minutes of nothing. Just post a giant pair of boobs in the thumbnail, and watch the views pile up… I said views. Likes are totally different. CONSGRABYOURNATION! You are become internet famous, and you didn't have to do a fucking thing. I hope that this little article will help you earn subscribers, respect, and the love of human beings, because if you need to become Youtube famous, you were never loved to begin with.
So, you failed at everything else in life and want to become Youtube famous? Well, it’s your lucky day, you sad fuck, because I am going to tell you how you can become internet famous in just five easy ways.
Step 1: Do A Review
Now, your review (Or rather, your pointless opinion that no one gives a shit about) is what makes a perfect review. Weather it’s movie, or tv shows, or anime, or the most overused of them, games, you too can be the perfect whore by pleasuring companies with a folded hundred dollar bill by talking about how good their product is just by reviewing it and talking some good shit, when secretly, you're as much of a sellout as the company is, but at least you get a free DVD and subscribers out of it.
Step 2: Play a Video Game
If you got money to burn (Which you don’t, because why else would you be here), you can buy the latest game, game console, capture card, big ass fucking computer, expensive headset, and gather all you’re equally as untalented friends over and play some games while shouting, because people losing their shit is comedy gold to five-year-olds, because they too are dipshits.
Step 3: Make a Vine
Just like the grapevines of California, it was made by Mexicans so the white man can profit in the end. If you want to look like a massive dumbass, just get the lowest quality camera you can find (Your phone is shitty enough), and just say a bunch of unfunny shit. After which, you can overdose on those pills in your dad’s cabinet, because you will only get 50 views a video, cause you’re jokes fucking suck
Step 4: Make a Music Video
The best way to make a song is by making it off of two ways. You can either make it based off of the hit open-world game for neckbeards and pedophiles, Minecrap. Or, the popular horror game that has taken over Tumblr like a fucking parasite, Five Nights at Fucktards. Or you can make a parody of the latest pop song or rapping sellout. Just expect Youtube to take it down within ten seconds.
Step 5: React to Videos
If you are a complete talentless fucking hack, fret not. You can still manage to make millions of dollars. All you gotta do is take a video that someone (More specifically someone with some talent), and just film yourself watching it. It’s the perfect way to make money, especially if you stand there like a fucking plank of wood and not say a goddamn thing, or talking over the video, thinking people really come here to watch you
If all else fails, just make five minutes of nothing. Just post a giant pair of boobs in the thumbnail, and watch the views pile up… I said views. Likes are totally different. CONSGRABYOURNATION! You are become internet famous, and you didn't have to do a fucking thing. I hope that this little article will help you earn subscribers, respect, and the love of human beings, because if you need to become Youtube famous, you were never loved to begin with.