Let’s talk about Konami…… You know, the video game company that cancelled Silent Hills….. You know, the video game company ended Metal Gear Solid….. You know, the video game company that sexualized every single female character from Castlevania that would make Deviantart look like it was for kids…. You know, the video game company that makes pachinko machines now…. You know, the video game company that have decided to stop making all their old games and only work on Pro Evolution Soccer, a franchise that has been dominated by FIFA. In case you couldn’t tell, Konami is a pretty terrible video game company. Today, they are known as a bunch of idiots that makes Capcom look like marketing geniuses. But back then, Konami was amazing. They had hundreds of amazing games, like Contra, Castlevania, Metal Gear Solid, and Silent Hill. And, since I did just buy Castlevania: Symphony of the Night off of the XBox Live Store, I thought “Why not give it a review”... And that is what I am doing right now. So, without any further delay, let’s go.
So the game starts with you playing as Richter Belmont, a vampire hunter, and descendent of the Belmont clan, known for defeating Dracula every time he is awoken to try and take over the world. Usual vampire stuff. But the odd thing is, at the beginning of the game, you actually get to fight Dracula right in the first thirty seconds of the game. What kind of trickery is this. Also, the voice acting… OH! GOD! THE VOICE ACTING! I understand that this game came out in the Playstation era, and video games with voice actors was a brand new thing at the time, but Jesus Christ, this is just bad. Richter’s voice actor is so bad, that it’s impossible to tell what emotion he is trying to express, and Dracula has to yell at the top of his lungs like an over the top 80s villain. Oh well, so you get a fight with Dracula, you defeat him, and then after that, you get some story about how all that happened in the fight between Richter and Dracula, a battle of epic proportions between two foes to decide the fate of humanity and the world itself… Yeah, all that happened fucking years ago. Four years, to be exact. And now the castle is back, and Dracula is said to be responsible, and Richter is nowhere to be found. So, instead of playing as Richter, you play as the badass vampire, Alucard…. And I am not talking about the one from either Son of Dracula or Hellsing Ultimate. It’s its own Alucard. And he is awesome. I already mentioned it in my Top 15 Video Game Characters list (Read that by the way), so I won’t waste your time with the description again.
So, once you start, you realize that Alucard is a badass, as he is able to kill every single enemy in one hit. It’s so awesome…… THAT IS, until you run into Death, the boney son of a fuck. He then steals your weapons, and your left if a pathetic as fuck punch. That’s the first problem with this game. It takes away your weapons because Death is an asshole. I get that I shouldn’t feel overpowered as soon as the game begins, but for fucks sake, at least let me have a little bit of fun. Thankfully, you can collect all kinds of weapons and armor, which are all powerful enough to help you fight enemies, so thank god for that.
Throughout the game, you will be exploring different areas of the castle, such as the alchemy lab, the library, the outer wall, the arena, the marble gallery, the caves, the mines, the clock tower, and eventually, the top of the castle. And let me tell you, this place is HUGE! Like really huge. This makes all other castles in games look like a tool shed. Also, this game is a Metroidvania game. For those who don’t know, Metroidvania games are games where you have to explore the area with a giant map without any destination whatsoever, and you can go to any room at any time, with a few exceptions being a couple locked doors. These are seen in most games like, obviously, Super Metroid, and this game. It isn’t bad game design, but it just gets confusing after a while. Though, I will give them credit, the designs on the backgrounds and characters are really well done. Also, throughout the game, you will meet this girl named Maria, who is a long-time friend of Richter, who is looking for him in the castle. And once again, we are introduced to bad voice acting. Alucard’s voice actor tries way to hard to sound like the quiet badass, and Maria is trying putting far too much emphasis on the “H” in Richter’s name whenever she says it… And she says it a lot. Miria….. doesn’t do anything….. at all. You kinda just talk to her for a bit, and… that’s kinda it. She does give you a pair of glasses which lets you see hidden enemies…. which is only used once. Other than that, she is just there to be some kind of character that is only there to be a love interest for Alucard… And it sucks. It feels so forced, and after like, five moments of meeting each other and not once working together, that instantly means they are a couple. That just sucks.
Another thing I have to comment on are the enemies. Let me tell you, they went all out with the designs on these guys. Sure, you got your usual enemies for “Children’s Haunted House Coloring Book”, like skeletons, witches, bats, and I think a pumpkin somewhere. But that’s where it ends though, because after that, you get attacked by giant werewolves, winged archers, giant humanoid crows, balls of what I am guessing is evil, giant horses that shot fire, a midget Gandalf the Grey, large flowers with eyes, monsters with women for tails, wizards, Cthulhu himself, and the FUCKING MEDUSA HEADS, I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH!- But yeah, the enemies are pretty cool. And the bosses are awesome too. There is a giant armored demon with a sword, a rotting corpse suspended by hooks, a giant balloon of dead bodies, a wizard that transforms into a god forsaken mutated Green Goblin, an anti-Alucard, and a Giant robot-thing. The first boss is actually a flying demon and a bird monster with a spear, so you get to fight two bosses at once as the first boss… Needless to say, they kicked my ass, because I wasn’t prepared. And this is another problem with the game. When you die, you have to sit down to one of the longest loading screens in the PS1 library. Each time you die, you get a game over with the game telling you “Let us go out this evening for pleasure. The night is still young”. Whatever that means. At first, it looks kinda cool, but after dying for the billionth time in a row (Which I did a lot), it get boring, so whenever Alucard dies, I just pause and quite to the menu before it gets to the game over screen) Trust me, it’s faster that way.
Another thing about this game that twists my testicles is the backtracking. OH FUCK ME, the backtracking in this game will be the death of you. I understand that this is a big castle, and I love exploring it, but if you forget one room, and I mean one room, a room that could possibly have a powerful weapon, or a necessary boss, than you have to walk your ass back there, with a long fucking walk, just to get back to the area. Thankfully, there are teleportation devices in the castle, so it isn’t a total pain in the ass, but after a while, you’ll just be beginning to get through the damn place as fast as possible. But, I could forgive all of these problems. I can forgive losing my weapons, I can forgive the bad voice acting, I can forgive the long game over screen, I can forgive the backtracking, and yes, I can forgive the Medusa Heads. But, there is one thing about this game, and I mean one fucking thing about this game that is utter bullshit that is completely unforgivable. I am going to warn you right now, that I am going to spoil the entire story of this game, so you have been warned.
So, throughout the game, you have multiple endings, and only one of them is worth getting. When you get through half of the castle, you will find out that Richter seems to be evil. So, when you face him at the top of the castle, you seem to have no other choice but to kill him. Doing so will kill Richter, and Alucard will leave the world forever. However, remember those glasses I talked about that you get from Maria? Well, if you use that during the fight, you will see an orb above Richter’s head. If you destroy it, you will break Richter out of his trance and he will be back to normal. After this, you will enter the Upside Down Castle, which is the same castle, only now, the whole place is upside down, and honestly, it’s pretty fucking cool. After going through the castle, collecting five pieces of Vlad, and returning to the middle of the castle, you will resurrect Dracula and fight him again. After you defeat him, you will then leave the castle with Richter and Maria, who are glad that Richter is safe and the world is free of Dracula. So after doing all that, you’d expect to get a good ending. Nope! Alucard will leave the world forever, and Maria can do nothing but just stand there. What the fuck, I saved Richter, and killed every boss, and defeated Dracula. How is that a good ending…. Well, guess how you get the good ending? In order to get the good ending, you need to explore over 97.2% of the fucking castle. Upside Down and Rightside Up! …. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT! This wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the other things in the game that pissed you off. Because of those minor problems, it turns the whole 97.2% thing and changes it from a minor problem to a giant fucking flaw! Some of the places are nearly impossible to get on the map, because they’re in the fucking water, which harms Alucard without the right items, and there are things that need to be found by jumping into a wall! A FUCKING WALL! DID THEY EVER TEST THIS SHIT! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS NECESSARY FOR THE GOOD ENDING! But, at least in the end, the ending is kinda worth it, since it is nice to see Maria try to save Alucard’s soul from being nothing more than that of a monster. Kinda nice, if you ask me.
So, what final thing do we talk about to end this review. Well, there is always one thing that everyone remembers from this game. Every single person who has ever played this game remembered this game for one reason… And that’s the music. Everyone remembers this soundtrack, and everyone, including myself, loves this soundtrack. Each song was made perfectly and fits the mood of each area of the castle perfectly. The music in the opening makes you feel like you're going to start an awesome adventure. The music in the library has a very renaissance-like feeling, making it feel very ancient. And the crystal cave with the percussion like instruments makes it feel very, like the design of the area makes it look… I think this level might be my favorite. Though, there is one questionable song in the soundtrack. In the original releases of the game, when you beat the game, instead of the foreboding and creepy soundtrack, you get I Am the Wind by Cynthia Harrell. What the fuck? It’s a good song, but, it really doesn’t fit well with the games dark tone. Of course, Konami noticed this too, as they took it out of later releases and replaced it with a more appropriate sounding song. Also, fun fact, Cynthia Harrell also sang the song for another Konami game. That would the the opening to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, one of my all time favorite games, so yeah, I’m kind of a fan of her music.
So yeah, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. It has a lot of problems, but it is still a pretty good game. It easily shows how great Konami once was, and how badly they’ve fucked up since then. If you find this game on Playstation or Xbox store, I highly recommend that you buy it. It’s a pretty good game. Sure, it has a few problems, but they are all completely overshadowed by the fun gameplay, wonderful designs, and of course, the well crafted music. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take
So the game starts with you playing as Richter Belmont, a vampire hunter, and descendent of the Belmont clan, known for defeating Dracula every time he is awoken to try and take over the world. Usual vampire stuff. But the odd thing is, at the beginning of the game, you actually get to fight Dracula right in the first thirty seconds of the game. What kind of trickery is this. Also, the voice acting… OH! GOD! THE VOICE ACTING! I understand that this game came out in the Playstation era, and video games with voice actors was a brand new thing at the time, but Jesus Christ, this is just bad. Richter’s voice actor is so bad, that it’s impossible to tell what emotion he is trying to express, and Dracula has to yell at the top of his lungs like an over the top 80s villain. Oh well, so you get a fight with Dracula, you defeat him, and then after that, you get some story about how all that happened in the fight between Richter and Dracula, a battle of epic proportions between two foes to decide the fate of humanity and the world itself… Yeah, all that happened fucking years ago. Four years, to be exact. And now the castle is back, and Dracula is said to be responsible, and Richter is nowhere to be found. So, instead of playing as Richter, you play as the badass vampire, Alucard…. And I am not talking about the one from either Son of Dracula or Hellsing Ultimate. It’s its own Alucard. And he is awesome. I already mentioned it in my Top 15 Video Game Characters list (Read that by the way), so I won’t waste your time with the description again.
So, once you start, you realize that Alucard is a badass, as he is able to kill every single enemy in one hit. It’s so awesome…… THAT IS, until you run into Death, the boney son of a fuck. He then steals your weapons, and your left if a pathetic as fuck punch. That’s the first problem with this game. It takes away your weapons because Death is an asshole. I get that I shouldn’t feel overpowered as soon as the game begins, but for fucks sake, at least let me have a little bit of fun. Thankfully, you can collect all kinds of weapons and armor, which are all powerful enough to help you fight enemies, so thank god for that.
Throughout the game, you will be exploring different areas of the castle, such as the alchemy lab, the library, the outer wall, the arena, the marble gallery, the caves, the mines, the clock tower, and eventually, the top of the castle. And let me tell you, this place is HUGE! Like really huge. This makes all other castles in games look like a tool shed. Also, this game is a Metroidvania game. For those who don’t know, Metroidvania games are games where you have to explore the area with a giant map without any destination whatsoever, and you can go to any room at any time, with a few exceptions being a couple locked doors. These are seen in most games like, obviously, Super Metroid, and this game. It isn’t bad game design, but it just gets confusing after a while. Though, I will give them credit, the designs on the backgrounds and characters are really well done. Also, throughout the game, you will meet this girl named Maria, who is a long-time friend of Richter, who is looking for him in the castle. And once again, we are introduced to bad voice acting. Alucard’s voice actor tries way to hard to sound like the quiet badass, and Maria is trying putting far too much emphasis on the “H” in Richter’s name whenever she says it… And she says it a lot. Miria….. doesn’t do anything….. at all. You kinda just talk to her for a bit, and… that’s kinda it. She does give you a pair of glasses which lets you see hidden enemies…. which is only used once. Other than that, she is just there to be some kind of character that is only there to be a love interest for Alucard… And it sucks. It feels so forced, and after like, five moments of meeting each other and not once working together, that instantly means they are a couple. That just sucks.
Another thing I have to comment on are the enemies. Let me tell you, they went all out with the designs on these guys. Sure, you got your usual enemies for “Children’s Haunted House Coloring Book”, like skeletons, witches, bats, and I think a pumpkin somewhere. But that’s where it ends though, because after that, you get attacked by giant werewolves, winged archers, giant humanoid crows, balls of what I am guessing is evil, giant horses that shot fire, a midget Gandalf the Grey, large flowers with eyes, monsters with women for tails, wizards, Cthulhu himself, and the FUCKING MEDUSA HEADS, I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH!- But yeah, the enemies are pretty cool. And the bosses are awesome too. There is a giant armored demon with a sword, a rotting corpse suspended by hooks, a giant balloon of dead bodies, a wizard that transforms into a god forsaken mutated Green Goblin, an anti-Alucard, and a Giant robot-thing. The first boss is actually a flying demon and a bird monster with a spear, so you get to fight two bosses at once as the first boss… Needless to say, they kicked my ass, because I wasn’t prepared. And this is another problem with the game. When you die, you have to sit down to one of the longest loading screens in the PS1 library. Each time you die, you get a game over with the game telling you “Let us go out this evening for pleasure. The night is still young”. Whatever that means. At first, it looks kinda cool, but after dying for the billionth time in a row (Which I did a lot), it get boring, so whenever Alucard dies, I just pause and quite to the menu before it gets to the game over screen) Trust me, it’s faster that way.
Another thing about this game that twists my testicles is the backtracking. OH FUCK ME, the backtracking in this game will be the death of you. I understand that this is a big castle, and I love exploring it, but if you forget one room, and I mean one room, a room that could possibly have a powerful weapon, or a necessary boss, than you have to walk your ass back there, with a long fucking walk, just to get back to the area. Thankfully, there are teleportation devices in the castle, so it isn’t a total pain in the ass, but after a while, you’ll just be beginning to get through the damn place as fast as possible. But, I could forgive all of these problems. I can forgive losing my weapons, I can forgive the bad voice acting, I can forgive the long game over screen, I can forgive the backtracking, and yes, I can forgive the Medusa Heads. But, there is one thing about this game, and I mean one fucking thing about this game that is utter bullshit that is completely unforgivable. I am going to warn you right now, that I am going to spoil the entire story of this game, so you have been warned.
So, throughout the game, you have multiple endings, and only one of them is worth getting. When you get through half of the castle, you will find out that Richter seems to be evil. So, when you face him at the top of the castle, you seem to have no other choice but to kill him. Doing so will kill Richter, and Alucard will leave the world forever. However, remember those glasses I talked about that you get from Maria? Well, if you use that during the fight, you will see an orb above Richter’s head. If you destroy it, you will break Richter out of his trance and he will be back to normal. After this, you will enter the Upside Down Castle, which is the same castle, only now, the whole place is upside down, and honestly, it’s pretty fucking cool. After going through the castle, collecting five pieces of Vlad, and returning to the middle of the castle, you will resurrect Dracula and fight him again. After you defeat him, you will then leave the castle with Richter and Maria, who are glad that Richter is safe and the world is free of Dracula. So after doing all that, you’d expect to get a good ending. Nope! Alucard will leave the world forever, and Maria can do nothing but just stand there. What the fuck, I saved Richter, and killed every boss, and defeated Dracula. How is that a good ending…. Well, guess how you get the good ending? In order to get the good ending, you need to explore over 97.2% of the fucking castle. Upside Down and Rightside Up! …. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT! This wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the other things in the game that pissed you off. Because of those minor problems, it turns the whole 97.2% thing and changes it from a minor problem to a giant fucking flaw! Some of the places are nearly impossible to get on the map, because they’re in the fucking water, which harms Alucard without the right items, and there are things that need to be found by jumping into a wall! A FUCKING WALL! DID THEY EVER TEST THIS SHIT! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS NECESSARY FOR THE GOOD ENDING! But, at least in the end, the ending is kinda worth it, since it is nice to see Maria try to save Alucard’s soul from being nothing more than that of a monster. Kinda nice, if you ask me.
So, what final thing do we talk about to end this review. Well, there is always one thing that everyone remembers from this game. Every single person who has ever played this game remembered this game for one reason… And that’s the music. Everyone remembers this soundtrack, and everyone, including myself, loves this soundtrack. Each song was made perfectly and fits the mood of each area of the castle perfectly. The music in the opening makes you feel like you're going to start an awesome adventure. The music in the library has a very renaissance-like feeling, making it feel very ancient. And the crystal cave with the percussion like instruments makes it feel very, like the design of the area makes it look… I think this level might be my favorite. Though, there is one questionable song in the soundtrack. In the original releases of the game, when you beat the game, instead of the foreboding and creepy soundtrack, you get I Am the Wind by Cynthia Harrell. What the fuck? It’s a good song, but, it really doesn’t fit well with the games dark tone. Of course, Konami noticed this too, as they took it out of later releases and replaced it with a more appropriate sounding song. Also, fun fact, Cynthia Harrell also sang the song for another Konami game. That would the the opening to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, one of my all time favorite games, so yeah, I’m kind of a fan of her music.
So yeah, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. It has a lot of problems, but it is still a pretty good game. It easily shows how great Konami once was, and how badly they’ve fucked up since then. If you find this game on Playstation or Xbox store, I highly recommend that you buy it. It’s a pretty good game. Sure, it has a few problems, but they are all completely overshadowed by the fun gameplay, wonderful designs, and of course, the well crafted music. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take
After the Rage Guy, this was the second of the rage comic characters to appear. He appeared as a character in a 4chan comic known as April Fools and it shows him as a disappointed or lonely person. However, he didn't gain popularity until he appeared in his second comic known as Prom FUUU, which soon gained hundreds of fans.
After that, Forever Alone began to flood rage comics all over the internet. He was shown. He is shown to use humor in the suffering of people who are still single.
Now, it is time for the score. The final score for this meme is a Fail. I'm sorry, but I just feel as though that this meme is a little overused. If it wasn't used so much, I may not hate it, but sorry, I do. That's it for this review, I will see you all next time