There are a lot of achievements that can be earned on Xbox. Now, these can range from being easy, hard, fun, or… stupid. So stupid, it’s funny. So, I want to talk about the ten Xbox achievements that are so stupid, their funny. Now, first things first. Only one game per franchise. However, I am dropping my play before put rule for this list only. Why? I have no clue, but it’s there. Now, with that said, lets start the list.
#10 - Dastardly from Red Dead Redemption - Ever seen those old western movies where the bad guy has this girl tied up on the train tracks and then watches as she gets crushed by a train? Well, now you can reenact those scenes, and get an achievement for it. All you need to do is hogtie a woman, lie her on the train tracks, and then watch as she gets killed by the train. However, you must be real desperate to kill someone for this achievement
#9: Flushed from Half Life 2: Orange Box - Now, I love Half Life….. I think that should be enough. Anyway, this achievement is both immature, and silly. Basically, you use the Gravity Gun to pick up a toile, then you go and kill someone with it. I am not kidding, you actually launch a toilet at an enemy until they die. Yes, it is that stupid, but is also that funny
#8: The Teaser from Fable 2 - Now, Fable has a lot of funny achievements, from killing a rabbit, to making people laugh while dressed as a Hobbe, to kicking a chicken as far as you can. But, Fable 2 and 3 are the only one with achievements, and… well, EVERYONE hates Fable 3, so Fable 2 will have to do. And I chose this one due to how dumb it is. Basically, what you do is walk up to a Bandit, and begin using your expressions on him. You start by flirting with him, then scaring him, then making him laugh, then in insulting him. The best part is that he actually responds to all of these with his own words. It is comedy gold, and makes this whole achievement amazing.
#7: Problem Solved, Series Over from Metal Gear Solid HD Collection - Now, I love Metal Gear Solid… Okay, I think I said enough. Now, this is found in Metal Gear Solid 3, where after Ocelot and all of his men are knocked unconscious, you are supposed to leave… But, the thing is, you don’t have to. Here, you can actually kill Ocelot, the series antagonist. However, if you do, Major Zero will tell you that you created a time paradox, since Metal Gear Solid 3 takes place before the events of the first two games, and you will get a game over. This is just so funny that they actually know that this creates a time paradox. I love it so much… even if it does ruin your chances of the Peace Walker Achievement
#6: Out of Your Depth from Grand Theft Auto V - Now, this was hard, since there aren’t a lot of “Go and fuck around” achievements in the GTA games. But, this one is just so insane, it’s hilarious. Basically, what you do is go out to the ocean and find a shark. Once you do find it, you then let yourself jump into the ocean, and then let yourself get eaten by the shark and die. What really put this achievement on this list is that the description of this achievement is a quote from Jaws… that instantly sold this for me
#5: The Soprano from Saints Row 2 - Now, even though Saints Rows 3 and 4 have more screwing around achievements than 2, but this one I got just for not even knowing about the achievement. Basically, when a song on the radio comes on, most likely Take On Me, or The Final Countdown, your character will begin to sing along to the song all the way until the end. I can’t tell what’s funnier. The fact that a psychotic gang leader who enjoys killing people sings along to pop songs, or that he sings along to terribly
#4: Suicide King from F.E.A.R - I don’t get how or why anyone would want this, but I guess they were just so desperate to get an achievement. Basically, the only way to get this achievement is VERY easy. Just kill yourself five times…. Yep, that’s it. Just die five times and you get this achievement. But, don’t think you’re getting awarded much, because you get zero gamerpoints. Still better than losing a song on easy mode on Guitar Hero 3. I mean, my god, that’s just pathetic.
#3: Stick ‘em Up from Dead Rising 2 - Now, I couldn’t find much silly achievements in the first game, so I decided to look at the more sillier one in the genre. Basically, to get this achievement, you have to smash two paintings over a zombie, than a barrel, and then a mask. This is just so silly, looking at a zombie covered in two paintings, a barrel, and wearing a mask. This is also the most rewarding achievement on this list at twenty gamerpoints, so that’s pretty cool
#2: Cl0wned from Left 4 Dead 2 - Just like Dead Rising, I couldn’t find a silly achievement in the first, so I had to look at the second…. Huh. Two zombie games that have funnier achievements in the sequels. What are the odds. Anyway, to get this achievement, you have to punch ten infected clowns in the face to make their noses honk. This is just funny as hell. I mean, you are going around in a zombie infested carnival, and your punching zombie clowns in the face while their noses honk. This probably inspired that one scene from Zombieland… And yes, Left 4 Dead 2 came out before Zombieland. Look it up
#1: Press START To Play from The Simpsons Game - Of all the patronizing achievements out there, this one is the biggest one. I am not even kidding when I say that this is easily one of the most dumbest ways to earn an achievement ever. You want to know how you get this achievement? By pushing the START button for the first time… No, I am not kidding. This is a fucking thing. The creators actually thought that this would be a great way to earn an achievement. It’s almost like this game is treating you like a toddler, and congratulating you on every small thing you do. And yet, that is what makes it so goddamn funny, and what makes it number one.
So, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it. And with that, I will see you all next time
#10 - Dastardly from Red Dead Redemption - Ever seen those old western movies where the bad guy has this girl tied up on the train tracks and then watches as she gets crushed by a train? Well, now you can reenact those scenes, and get an achievement for it. All you need to do is hogtie a woman, lie her on the train tracks, and then watch as she gets killed by the train. However, you must be real desperate to kill someone for this achievement
#9: Flushed from Half Life 2: Orange Box - Now, I love Half Life….. I think that should be enough. Anyway, this achievement is both immature, and silly. Basically, you use the Gravity Gun to pick up a toile, then you go and kill someone with it. I am not kidding, you actually launch a toilet at an enemy until they die. Yes, it is that stupid, but is also that funny
#8: The Teaser from Fable 2 - Now, Fable has a lot of funny achievements, from killing a rabbit, to making people laugh while dressed as a Hobbe, to kicking a chicken as far as you can. But, Fable 2 and 3 are the only one with achievements, and… well, EVERYONE hates Fable 3, so Fable 2 will have to do. And I chose this one due to how dumb it is. Basically, what you do is walk up to a Bandit, and begin using your expressions on him. You start by flirting with him, then scaring him, then making him laugh, then in insulting him. The best part is that he actually responds to all of these with his own words. It is comedy gold, and makes this whole achievement amazing.
#7: Problem Solved, Series Over from Metal Gear Solid HD Collection - Now, I love Metal Gear Solid… Okay, I think I said enough. Now, this is found in Metal Gear Solid 3, where after Ocelot and all of his men are knocked unconscious, you are supposed to leave… But, the thing is, you don’t have to. Here, you can actually kill Ocelot, the series antagonist. However, if you do, Major Zero will tell you that you created a time paradox, since Metal Gear Solid 3 takes place before the events of the first two games, and you will get a game over. This is just so funny that they actually know that this creates a time paradox. I love it so much… even if it does ruin your chances of the Peace Walker Achievement
#6: Out of Your Depth from Grand Theft Auto V - Now, this was hard, since there aren’t a lot of “Go and fuck around” achievements in the GTA games. But, this one is just so insane, it’s hilarious. Basically, what you do is go out to the ocean and find a shark. Once you do find it, you then let yourself jump into the ocean, and then let yourself get eaten by the shark and die. What really put this achievement on this list is that the description of this achievement is a quote from Jaws… that instantly sold this for me
#5: The Soprano from Saints Row 2 - Now, even though Saints Rows 3 and 4 have more screwing around achievements than 2, but this one I got just for not even knowing about the achievement. Basically, when a song on the radio comes on, most likely Take On Me, or The Final Countdown, your character will begin to sing along to the song all the way until the end. I can’t tell what’s funnier. The fact that a psychotic gang leader who enjoys killing people sings along to pop songs, or that he sings along to terribly
#4: Suicide King from F.E.A.R - I don’t get how or why anyone would want this, but I guess they were just so desperate to get an achievement. Basically, the only way to get this achievement is VERY easy. Just kill yourself five times…. Yep, that’s it. Just die five times and you get this achievement. But, don’t think you’re getting awarded much, because you get zero gamerpoints. Still better than losing a song on easy mode on Guitar Hero 3. I mean, my god, that’s just pathetic.
#3: Stick ‘em Up from Dead Rising 2 - Now, I couldn’t find much silly achievements in the first game, so I decided to look at the more sillier one in the genre. Basically, to get this achievement, you have to smash two paintings over a zombie, than a barrel, and then a mask. This is just so silly, looking at a zombie covered in two paintings, a barrel, and wearing a mask. This is also the most rewarding achievement on this list at twenty gamerpoints, so that’s pretty cool
#2: Cl0wned from Left 4 Dead 2 - Just like Dead Rising, I couldn’t find a silly achievement in the first, so I had to look at the second…. Huh. Two zombie games that have funnier achievements in the sequels. What are the odds. Anyway, to get this achievement, you have to punch ten infected clowns in the face to make their noses honk. This is just funny as hell. I mean, you are going around in a zombie infested carnival, and your punching zombie clowns in the face while their noses honk. This probably inspired that one scene from Zombieland… And yes, Left 4 Dead 2 came out before Zombieland. Look it up
#1: Press START To Play from The Simpsons Game - Of all the patronizing achievements out there, this one is the biggest one. I am not even kidding when I say that this is easily one of the most dumbest ways to earn an achievement ever. You want to know how you get this achievement? By pushing the START button for the first time… No, I am not kidding. This is a fucking thing. The creators actually thought that this would be a great way to earn an achievement. It’s almost like this game is treating you like a toddler, and congratulating you on every small thing you do. And yet, that is what makes it so goddamn funny, and what makes it number one.
So, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it. And with that, I will see you all next time