Now, what are games made for? Entertainment. And if a game is not entertaining, then there is no point for the game to EVER exist. However, some game developers do not know this, and instead make their games as boring as possible. So, today, I am going to talk about the games that bore me the most. Now, these are only going to be games that I have played, so no Desert Bus. Now, with that said, lets start the list
#10: Spore: Hero Arena - Leave it to EA to fuck over the fans of their games. Spore was a game where you create a creature and watch as it grows and builds a colony. It was a brilliant game. Than, Spore: Hero Arena came and sucked all the charm out of it like a goddamn leech. The game had even less customization items, and the only good customizations could be found by planning boring mini-games. Also, you NEED to play some of the most dull mini-games ever. Knock three people off a platform. That is the WHOLE game. And it just gets worse from here on out, as the games story is “Collect red gems before the villain known as There-Is-No-Villain takes them eventually”. Yeah, this game has no story. It is just a dull fighter that seemed as though it WANTED to kill the franchise.
#9: Attack of the Movies 3D - Yeah, this movie is in 3D. Mainly because nothing else was gonna pull people into buying this piece of shit. This game is just a rail shooter that has graphics that even the Gamecube would laugh at. Infact, Gamecube games look better than this. We had the amazing open world of Metroid Prime, the beautifully made senories of Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat, and the brilliant art style of Wind Waker. But, an Xbox 360 game… the graphics look like someone decided to try and give a piece of cardboard some life. The game also has a boring objective. Shoot everything. That’s it… WHHHHHY!
#8: Thrillville - This was the game that tried to bring Rollercoaster Tycoon to the home console genre… and it sucked. All this game does is have you put random ride on random spot so random people can ride it at random times. In other words, just walk around a dull as shit park and watch as all the lifeless visitors walk around. The most fun you get out of this game is cleaning up vomit when you play as the janitor. Yeah, never thought a game would make being a janitor the fun part of the whole game, huh. And get this, a game about theme parks actually tries to tell a story… and that goes as well as you think it would
#7: Pac-Man Party - How, or better yet, why was this game ever made. So, the story is that the ghosts have stolen cookies and Pac-Man has to get them back, because just making more is completely out of the question. And then we get to the game itself... its a Mario Party rip-off. And a real bland one at that. Namco, if Sega couldn’t rip-off Mario Party with Sonic Shuffle and were unable to succeed, what makes you think Pac-Man is gonna have a chance to succeed? The mini-games range from tapping the screen at one stop, jumping at when the game says to, and Frogger, if it had Pac-Man. This game is just so boring, yet takes longer than necessary
#6: Rugrats Studio Tour - Now, I always enjoyed the Rugrats growing up, but this game is just… ugh. It starts with Dil getting lost in a movie studio and the others have to go and look for him. Pretty good story by Rugrats standards. Gameplay wise….. IT’S TERRIBLE! All you do in each game is walk slowly across a barren wasteland, trying to collect keys just so you can open a door, even though you only need to open ONE LOCK IN THE WHOLE SET! And the lock never changes, to it isn’t luck based either. In other words, THIS GAME CAN BE beATEN IN LESS THAN TWO HOURS! And I have to say, those two hours are mostly filled with me yawning
#5: Sonic Labyrinth - Now, people have been saying what is the worst Sonic game ever. Maybe it’s Sonic 06, or maybe it’s Sonic Unleashed, or maybe it is the UNGODLY ABOMINATION THAT IS SONIC BOOM! But, if we were to look back into the 90’s, we would find the true worst Sonic game… okay, the second worst (Fucking Sonic Boom). The story is that Eggman changed Sonics shoes so now Sonic can only walk, and he can’t jump. How could Sonic fall for such a stupid Death Note Ending-like plan? It’s never fucking explained. So now, all you can do is walk… very slowly. Isn’t the whole point of a Sonic game about going fast. Hell, its mentioned in every Sonic TV show theme song. So, if you can’t go fast, you can’t have fun. Perfect way to describe this game. No fun
#4: Fable 3 - This is probably where we get to the games that REALLY pissed me off. Fable was such a good franchise up to this point, but, like an eagle with a damaged wing, it just plummets to earth and smashes into bits. All you do in this game is do a boring main quest, do a boring side quest, talk to boring characters, compete in boring combat, playthrough boring story, look at the beautiful graphics that belong in a better fucking game, etcetera and et-fucking-cetera. Need I say more
#3: Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts - God I hate this game. I REALLY hate this game. This game had brought so much hope to people, and Microsoft just smashed it under their giant marketing shoes. All you do in this game is compete in races that last far too long, deliver large crap that is literally five seconds away, shoot stuff by using a machine that will break when so much as a fucking feather touches it, jump around like a cocaine user on a trampoline, and the developers thought no one would give a shit after that, and just recycled all those missions. I mean, my god. How could Banjo Kazooie go from being one of the greatest platformers of all time, to a game that people wish would die in a fire. I BLAME MICROSOFT
#2: Fun With Numbers - Its a math game…. Need I say more
#1: The Walking Dead: Survival Instincts - Yes, I kid you not. Someone actually managed to make the Walking Dead boring. I don’t know how, but they fucking did it. This game is so dull, I gave up playing it after a day. It is THAT BAD! You have two choices of how to play this game. Walk around your enemies into a barren wasteland and just slowly walk from point A to point B, or fight all your enemies, which feels like you’re fighting a dragon with a wet stick. In other words, pick one poison or the other. Also, the missions are just boring. Go here because mission. There is no excuse to play these missions. There is also no excuse to stop your trip to the next dull area because you’re low on gas and need to explore a smaller dull area so you can travel to the larger dull area… By the way, did I mention this game was dull. And the most insulting thing about this game is that I bought it for forty dollars. Wouldn’t be so bad, if it wasn’t for the fact that, on the same day, I bought both Assassin’s Creed 2 and Red Dead Redemption both FOR TEN DOLLARS EACH! When you make a shitty game, and sell it for more than two great games, that is just fucking unforgivable.
Well, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you think below. With that, I will see you all next time
#10: Spore: Hero Arena - Leave it to EA to fuck over the fans of their games. Spore was a game where you create a creature and watch as it grows and builds a colony. It was a brilliant game. Than, Spore: Hero Arena came and sucked all the charm out of it like a goddamn leech. The game had even less customization items, and the only good customizations could be found by planning boring mini-games. Also, you NEED to play some of the most dull mini-games ever. Knock three people off a platform. That is the WHOLE game. And it just gets worse from here on out, as the games story is “Collect red gems before the villain known as There-Is-No-Villain takes them eventually”. Yeah, this game has no story. It is just a dull fighter that seemed as though it WANTED to kill the franchise.
#9: Attack of the Movies 3D - Yeah, this movie is in 3D. Mainly because nothing else was gonna pull people into buying this piece of shit. This game is just a rail shooter that has graphics that even the Gamecube would laugh at. Infact, Gamecube games look better than this. We had the amazing open world of Metroid Prime, the beautifully made senories of Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat, and the brilliant art style of Wind Waker. But, an Xbox 360 game… the graphics look like someone decided to try and give a piece of cardboard some life. The game also has a boring objective. Shoot everything. That’s it… WHHHHHY!
#8: Thrillville - This was the game that tried to bring Rollercoaster Tycoon to the home console genre… and it sucked. All this game does is have you put random ride on random spot so random people can ride it at random times. In other words, just walk around a dull as shit park and watch as all the lifeless visitors walk around. The most fun you get out of this game is cleaning up vomit when you play as the janitor. Yeah, never thought a game would make being a janitor the fun part of the whole game, huh. And get this, a game about theme parks actually tries to tell a story… and that goes as well as you think it would
#7: Pac-Man Party - How, or better yet, why was this game ever made. So, the story is that the ghosts have stolen cookies and Pac-Man has to get them back, because just making more is completely out of the question. And then we get to the game itself... its a Mario Party rip-off. And a real bland one at that. Namco, if Sega couldn’t rip-off Mario Party with Sonic Shuffle and were unable to succeed, what makes you think Pac-Man is gonna have a chance to succeed? The mini-games range from tapping the screen at one stop, jumping at when the game says to, and Frogger, if it had Pac-Man. This game is just so boring, yet takes longer than necessary
#6: Rugrats Studio Tour - Now, I always enjoyed the Rugrats growing up, but this game is just… ugh. It starts with Dil getting lost in a movie studio and the others have to go and look for him. Pretty good story by Rugrats standards. Gameplay wise….. IT’S TERRIBLE! All you do in each game is walk slowly across a barren wasteland, trying to collect keys just so you can open a door, even though you only need to open ONE LOCK IN THE WHOLE SET! And the lock never changes, to it isn’t luck based either. In other words, THIS GAME CAN BE beATEN IN LESS THAN TWO HOURS! And I have to say, those two hours are mostly filled with me yawning
#5: Sonic Labyrinth - Now, people have been saying what is the worst Sonic game ever. Maybe it’s Sonic 06, or maybe it’s Sonic Unleashed, or maybe it is the UNGODLY ABOMINATION THAT IS SONIC BOOM! But, if we were to look back into the 90’s, we would find the true worst Sonic game… okay, the second worst (Fucking Sonic Boom). The story is that Eggman changed Sonics shoes so now Sonic can only walk, and he can’t jump. How could Sonic fall for such a stupid Death Note Ending-like plan? It’s never fucking explained. So now, all you can do is walk… very slowly. Isn’t the whole point of a Sonic game about going fast. Hell, its mentioned in every Sonic TV show theme song. So, if you can’t go fast, you can’t have fun. Perfect way to describe this game. No fun
#4: Fable 3 - This is probably where we get to the games that REALLY pissed me off. Fable was such a good franchise up to this point, but, like an eagle with a damaged wing, it just plummets to earth and smashes into bits. All you do in this game is do a boring main quest, do a boring side quest, talk to boring characters, compete in boring combat, playthrough boring story, look at the beautiful graphics that belong in a better fucking game, etcetera and et-fucking-cetera. Need I say more
#3: Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts - God I hate this game. I REALLY hate this game. This game had brought so much hope to people, and Microsoft just smashed it under their giant marketing shoes. All you do in this game is compete in races that last far too long, deliver large crap that is literally five seconds away, shoot stuff by using a machine that will break when so much as a fucking feather touches it, jump around like a cocaine user on a trampoline, and the developers thought no one would give a shit after that, and just recycled all those missions. I mean, my god. How could Banjo Kazooie go from being one of the greatest platformers of all time, to a game that people wish would die in a fire. I BLAME MICROSOFT
#2: Fun With Numbers - Its a math game…. Need I say more
#1: The Walking Dead: Survival Instincts - Yes, I kid you not. Someone actually managed to make the Walking Dead boring. I don’t know how, but they fucking did it. This game is so dull, I gave up playing it after a day. It is THAT BAD! You have two choices of how to play this game. Walk around your enemies into a barren wasteland and just slowly walk from point A to point B, or fight all your enemies, which feels like you’re fighting a dragon with a wet stick. In other words, pick one poison or the other. Also, the missions are just boring. Go here because mission. There is no excuse to play these missions. There is also no excuse to stop your trip to the next dull area because you’re low on gas and need to explore a smaller dull area so you can travel to the larger dull area… By the way, did I mention this game was dull. And the most insulting thing about this game is that I bought it for forty dollars. Wouldn’t be so bad, if it wasn’t for the fact that, on the same day, I bought both Assassin’s Creed 2 and Red Dead Redemption both FOR TEN DOLLARS EACH! When you make a shitty game, and sell it for more than two great games, that is just fucking unforgivable.
Well, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you think below. With that, I will see you all next time