Now, I love video games…. and, you all know that. Okay, I love video games, but, not every game is perfect. In fact, there are parts of games that take all the fun from the game and ruin it. So, I am going to show you guys the moments in games that annoy me. First off, these are all from games I play, and they have to be from games I like. So, with that said, lets begin
#15: Ashley Section from Resident Evil 4 - So, after playing as a bad ass bodyguard to the president who is going around killing psychotic villagers, what do we get? We get to play as Ashley, the annoying, and useless bitch who can’t defend herself at all. This section was just tedious and boring. All you do is run away from enemies, rather than fight them. And it’s easier said than done, since there everywhere. It only gets worse when the knights start chasing you. Also, if that wasn’t bad enough, then you have to worry about the FUCKING SLIDING PUZZLE! No one likes this puzzle. It is almost impossible, if you are not a genius. Thankfully, we only need to do this once, then we won’t have to worry about it ever again. Thank god. But, let me remind you… This is only #15
#14: Wing Mario Over the Rainbow from Super Mario 64 - Now, even though Mario is an amazingly fun game, Wing Mario Over the Rainbow is a real bitch. What you have to do is use the Wing Cap to fly over to a set of clouds and collect eight Red Coins. Simple enough… or, at least it would be, if the clouds were closer together. The clouds are MILES away from each other, and you may plummet to the earth before you can land on it. Hell, half the time, you’ll just fall through the fucking cloud. And, before you can get another shot, you gotta fall into the pond outside the castle, go in the castle, and climb ALL the way up the castle just to get another shot. FUCK! THAT!
#13: Magnificent 5 from Viewtiful Joe - So, after fighting your way through the dark city, you make it to a familiar place. Here, you are forced to fight Charles the Third again. After that, you go to another familiar place. Once you’re here, that’s when it hits you. It’s a boss run. Boss runs are a lazy way for developers to make the game last longer, so they make you fight all the bosses you have fought before all over again in a row. And this game does it in one of the worst possible ways. All of the bosses are now harder, and have more health, and you gotta fight all of them in a row. And if you die, you gotta start ALL OVER AGAIN! It’s not that easy, since most of them are super hard, like Hulk Davidson, and Another Joe. So, yeah. Just get ready to die multiple times
#12: Water Hazard from Half-Life 2 - Now, this level would have been real cool. A level where you fight off soldiers on a boat with a machine gun while riding down a lake. Pretty cool… if the controls weren’t fucking broken. Yeah, the driving controls are some of the worst I have ever seen in a game. Once you turn, it feel more like you’re driving a fucking tank. Also, there are ramps you NEED to jump, or you will die, and hitting these things are like hitting all three of the same number on a slot machine. It’s just luck. And when you don’t make it, your fucked. Simple as that
#11: Howling Halls from Fable 2 - Now, I love Fable 2… but I fucking HATE the Balverines. They are always hard to kill, are super fast, can do massive damage, and attack in packs. So, some sadist at Lionhead Studios thought, “Hey, lets take the worst enemy in the entire franchise, and make an entire level filled with them”. That’s the Howling Halls for you. While you are travelling to Westcliff, you have to go into this temple, which is filled with Balverines. Since this part is still pretty early in the game, and since you will not be prepared for it, you will be low on magic, strength, and skill. In other words, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE A WET PAPER BAG FIGHTING THESE THINGS! Thankfully, once you get their move set down, going against these guys isn’t that bad. That’s why the Howling Halls didn’t make it to the top ten
#10: 3 Leaf Clover from Grand Theft Auto IV - Now, this is the mission where Niko, Packie, and the others rob a bank, which causes them to run out to escape the police. Story wise, this is an amazing mission… gameplay wise, HOW MUCH COPS ARE THERE!? Now, for this lever is just real hard. Since dying in this game is REAL easy, you need to be extra careful. You need to plan each step like THAT’S the fucking bank robbery. And, even with that plan, you could still die. The thing is, you NEED body armor. Here’s an idea, Rockstar. WHY NOT PROVIDE ME WITH THE FUCKING BODY ARMOR AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MISSION!?
#9: Cortana from Halo 3 - Now, even though this level is very amazing story wise, it is HARD AS HELL! You have to go into the abandoned Pillar of Autumn, now a nest full of Flood, and fight your way through them so you can find Cortana. Wouldn’t be so bad, except THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! The second you kill an army of them, BAM, a whole other army of them show up. It’s insane and hard. And since the Flood can take a full three clips of ammo before dying, you will use up at least one gun be the time you finish this mission
#8: Crazy Gadget from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle - Now, this has to be one of the few levels on her that actually made me motion sick just playing it. Basically, you play as Sonic, who is trying to get to a certain spot in the Death Egg. Wouldn’t be so bad, except THE FUCKING PLATFORMS BLEND IN WITH THE BACKGROUND!!! Yeah, that’s not a good thing. It also doesn’t help that if you fall off, you will die instantly. Also, some of the obstacles bang you around like a fucking pinball machine, and sometimes, THEY KNOCK YOU OFF AND KILL YOU! Who’s bright fucking idea was that?
#7: Meeting Orejuela from Saints Row - Would you believe me if I said this mission pissed me off so much that I gave up on this game for a YEAR before beating it? Yeah, that’s how hard it is. Basically, you and your buddy, Dex, are supposed to meet the leader of the Columbian drug dealers, but before you can, Victor chases after you in a big ass truck and you have to run away. Now, this is where it gets hard, because, you have more gang members shooting at you, and if they shoot you enough times, the car will explode and you die. And that’s not all, if Victor rams into you, you blow up and die. And don’t think about getting out of the car to find another one, because if you do, Dex will die, and you’ll get a game over. But the worst part, is that, even though this mission is that hard, it only lasts THREE FUCKING MINUTES!!!
#6: Overtime Mode from Dead Rising - Now, after surviving for three days, and getting the S ending, you are able to unlock Overtime Mode. Only one question… WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PLAY IT!? You need to be either desperate for an achievement, desperate for the Mega Buster, or just an over all masochist to play Overtime Mode. You need to collect various items in a time limit, while at the same time, trying not to get murdered by the Military. Sadly, they are FUCKING EVERYWHERE, so avoiding them is impossible. And those annoying as hell flying cameras will be the death of me… Oh well, at least the fight with Brock made up for it
#5: Graveyard from Madworld - What’s the best word to use when describing this level… Oh yeah, BROKEN! This level is fucking broken. You have to fight off the enemies, as usual, but, whenever one of them grab you, the mini-boss, Death Blade, comes and attacks you. This fucker has a scythe that kills you in one hit. It wouldn’t that hard to avoid, except YOUR WII REMOTE WON’T RESPOND TO SHIT ON THIS LEVEL! I’m not kidding. Your best bet is to just attack and pray to god that you don’t get grabbed, because when you do, Death Blade will come and kill you in one hit. And the Shaman fight is the same. You can NOT dodge his attacks, and the Wii remote only responds to a downward movement, inside of a vertical one. Thankfully, this is the only level with broken as fuck controls, so that’s good to hear
#4: Triforce Shard Quest from Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker - Yes! I just said it! There is a part of Wind Waker that I hate! And yes, I do feel myself dying inside because of it. Now, this level isn’t TOO bad. It lets you go and explore more parts of the world… But, the problem comes from Tingle, that greedy fuck. You need him to decipher the Triforce Charts, but he’ll only do it if you pay him 398 rupees. And by the end of it all, you’ll have paid him more than 3000. That alone is what made me hate this part of the game. I’m sorry, Wind Waker, but its true.
#3: Shinobu Levels from No More Heroes 2 - How can I explain this level in the best way possible. Imagine playing Super Mario 64. Now, imagine having the camera being VERY close to Mario’s back. Now, imagine that he would always stop his punches to say, “Let’s a go”. NOW, imagine that he could only jump once, instead of doing a double or triple jump. Bad, right. Well, that’s what playing as Shinobu feels like. Not only do we have to play as one of the most unlikable characters in the franchise, but we also have to fight REALLY annoying bosses with her. She has such a pathetic jump, and she will always stop her combos just to taunt people. And, she has to fight Million Gunman, a banker who always runs away from you, and New Destroyman, two Destroymen who can fight you. HOW DID YOU FUCK UP HAVING TWO OF THESE GUYS! It’s like your favorite comedian having another version of themselves, but instead of being funny, they just talk about the stock market. Who couldn’t we have played as Sir Henry Motherfucker. He was so much more fun
#2: All Caves in Pokemon - No one, I repeat NO ONE likes the caves. With each generation Pokemon games, everyone who buys it always fears about going inside the caves. And why shouldn’t they be. The caves are fucking awful. Now, whenever you go in the caves, you will ALWAYS run into wild Pokemon. At first, its okay, but then, another one comes, and then another, and then another, and then you just get fucking pissed off. And no matter how much Repel you buy, it will always run out before you get out of the cave. You could buy 100 cans of Repel and only come out of the cave with 2. That’s how annoying the caves are. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the average amount of caves in each game are 6. THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT 6 TIMES!!!
#1: The Great Maze from Super Smash Bros. Brawl - I hate, hate hate, hate, HATE The Great Maze. For all those who wanted to know why I chose Melee over Brawl, well here you go. So, after you go through the whole game trying to catch the villains of the Nintendo series, you find out that there is something worse. So, the only way to catch him is by completing the Great Maze. Once here, you are forced to walk through a large maze built of all the stages you were in in the game, filled with the strongest enemies in the game. And, just like a maze, YOU WILL GET LOST! You will always be looking at your map, hoping to find a way to the exit. So after a whole hour of looking, you finally find the exit… but, it won’t open. You wanna know how you open that door…. Well, you have to BACKTRACK THROUGH THE MAZE AND FIGHT ALL THE BOSSES IN THE GAME ALL OVER AGAIN, ONLY NOW, THEY ARE HARDER, AND HAVE MORE HEALTH! Who thought that going through a confusing maze and fighting all of the bosses again was a good idea. This level alone took SIX HOURS to complete. SIX FUCKING HOURS! And, I would have forgiven it all. I would have just let it slide, if, it wasn’t for the fact, that this level alone ran out the fresh batteries I put in the Wii remote, and I didn’t have anymore batteries, so I had to turn the console off, buy new batteries, and replay the Great Mae FOR A SECOND FUCKING TIME! FUCK YOU, GREAT MAZE! FUCK YOU!!!
So, there you go. Did you like the list. Tell me below. With that, I will see you guys next time.
#15: Ashley Section from Resident Evil 4 - So, after playing as a bad ass bodyguard to the president who is going around killing psychotic villagers, what do we get? We get to play as Ashley, the annoying, and useless bitch who can’t defend herself at all. This section was just tedious and boring. All you do is run away from enemies, rather than fight them. And it’s easier said than done, since there everywhere. It only gets worse when the knights start chasing you. Also, if that wasn’t bad enough, then you have to worry about the FUCKING SLIDING PUZZLE! No one likes this puzzle. It is almost impossible, if you are not a genius. Thankfully, we only need to do this once, then we won’t have to worry about it ever again. Thank god. But, let me remind you… This is only #15
#14: Wing Mario Over the Rainbow from Super Mario 64 - Now, even though Mario is an amazingly fun game, Wing Mario Over the Rainbow is a real bitch. What you have to do is use the Wing Cap to fly over to a set of clouds and collect eight Red Coins. Simple enough… or, at least it would be, if the clouds were closer together. The clouds are MILES away from each other, and you may plummet to the earth before you can land on it. Hell, half the time, you’ll just fall through the fucking cloud. And, before you can get another shot, you gotta fall into the pond outside the castle, go in the castle, and climb ALL the way up the castle just to get another shot. FUCK! THAT!
#13: Magnificent 5 from Viewtiful Joe - So, after fighting your way through the dark city, you make it to a familiar place. Here, you are forced to fight Charles the Third again. After that, you go to another familiar place. Once you’re here, that’s when it hits you. It’s a boss run. Boss runs are a lazy way for developers to make the game last longer, so they make you fight all the bosses you have fought before all over again in a row. And this game does it in one of the worst possible ways. All of the bosses are now harder, and have more health, and you gotta fight all of them in a row. And if you die, you gotta start ALL OVER AGAIN! It’s not that easy, since most of them are super hard, like Hulk Davidson, and Another Joe. So, yeah. Just get ready to die multiple times
#12: Water Hazard from Half-Life 2 - Now, this level would have been real cool. A level where you fight off soldiers on a boat with a machine gun while riding down a lake. Pretty cool… if the controls weren’t fucking broken. Yeah, the driving controls are some of the worst I have ever seen in a game. Once you turn, it feel more like you’re driving a fucking tank. Also, there are ramps you NEED to jump, or you will die, and hitting these things are like hitting all three of the same number on a slot machine. It’s just luck. And when you don’t make it, your fucked. Simple as that
#11: Howling Halls from Fable 2 - Now, I love Fable 2… but I fucking HATE the Balverines. They are always hard to kill, are super fast, can do massive damage, and attack in packs. So, some sadist at Lionhead Studios thought, “Hey, lets take the worst enemy in the entire franchise, and make an entire level filled with them”. That’s the Howling Halls for you. While you are travelling to Westcliff, you have to go into this temple, which is filled with Balverines. Since this part is still pretty early in the game, and since you will not be prepared for it, you will be low on magic, strength, and skill. In other words, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE A WET PAPER BAG FIGHTING THESE THINGS! Thankfully, once you get their move set down, going against these guys isn’t that bad. That’s why the Howling Halls didn’t make it to the top ten
#10: 3 Leaf Clover from Grand Theft Auto IV - Now, this is the mission where Niko, Packie, and the others rob a bank, which causes them to run out to escape the police. Story wise, this is an amazing mission… gameplay wise, HOW MUCH COPS ARE THERE!? Now, for this lever is just real hard. Since dying in this game is REAL easy, you need to be extra careful. You need to plan each step like THAT’S the fucking bank robbery. And, even with that plan, you could still die. The thing is, you NEED body armor. Here’s an idea, Rockstar. WHY NOT PROVIDE ME WITH THE FUCKING BODY ARMOR AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MISSION!?
#9: Cortana from Halo 3 - Now, even though this level is very amazing story wise, it is HARD AS HELL! You have to go into the abandoned Pillar of Autumn, now a nest full of Flood, and fight your way through them so you can find Cortana. Wouldn’t be so bad, except THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! The second you kill an army of them, BAM, a whole other army of them show up. It’s insane and hard. And since the Flood can take a full three clips of ammo before dying, you will use up at least one gun be the time you finish this mission
#8: Crazy Gadget from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle - Now, this has to be one of the few levels on her that actually made me motion sick just playing it. Basically, you play as Sonic, who is trying to get to a certain spot in the Death Egg. Wouldn’t be so bad, except THE FUCKING PLATFORMS BLEND IN WITH THE BACKGROUND!!! Yeah, that’s not a good thing. It also doesn’t help that if you fall off, you will die instantly. Also, some of the obstacles bang you around like a fucking pinball machine, and sometimes, THEY KNOCK YOU OFF AND KILL YOU! Who’s bright fucking idea was that?
#7: Meeting Orejuela from Saints Row - Would you believe me if I said this mission pissed me off so much that I gave up on this game for a YEAR before beating it? Yeah, that’s how hard it is. Basically, you and your buddy, Dex, are supposed to meet the leader of the Columbian drug dealers, but before you can, Victor chases after you in a big ass truck and you have to run away. Now, this is where it gets hard, because, you have more gang members shooting at you, and if they shoot you enough times, the car will explode and you die. And that’s not all, if Victor rams into you, you blow up and die. And don’t think about getting out of the car to find another one, because if you do, Dex will die, and you’ll get a game over. But the worst part, is that, even though this mission is that hard, it only lasts THREE FUCKING MINUTES!!!
#6: Overtime Mode from Dead Rising - Now, after surviving for three days, and getting the S ending, you are able to unlock Overtime Mode. Only one question… WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PLAY IT!? You need to be either desperate for an achievement, desperate for the Mega Buster, or just an over all masochist to play Overtime Mode. You need to collect various items in a time limit, while at the same time, trying not to get murdered by the Military. Sadly, they are FUCKING EVERYWHERE, so avoiding them is impossible. And those annoying as hell flying cameras will be the death of me… Oh well, at least the fight with Brock made up for it
#5: Graveyard from Madworld - What’s the best word to use when describing this level… Oh yeah, BROKEN! This level is fucking broken. You have to fight off the enemies, as usual, but, whenever one of them grab you, the mini-boss, Death Blade, comes and attacks you. This fucker has a scythe that kills you in one hit. It wouldn’t that hard to avoid, except YOUR WII REMOTE WON’T RESPOND TO SHIT ON THIS LEVEL! I’m not kidding. Your best bet is to just attack and pray to god that you don’t get grabbed, because when you do, Death Blade will come and kill you in one hit. And the Shaman fight is the same. You can NOT dodge his attacks, and the Wii remote only responds to a downward movement, inside of a vertical one. Thankfully, this is the only level with broken as fuck controls, so that’s good to hear
#4: Triforce Shard Quest from Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker - Yes! I just said it! There is a part of Wind Waker that I hate! And yes, I do feel myself dying inside because of it. Now, this level isn’t TOO bad. It lets you go and explore more parts of the world… But, the problem comes from Tingle, that greedy fuck. You need him to decipher the Triforce Charts, but he’ll only do it if you pay him 398 rupees. And by the end of it all, you’ll have paid him more than 3000. That alone is what made me hate this part of the game. I’m sorry, Wind Waker, but its true.
#3: Shinobu Levels from No More Heroes 2 - How can I explain this level in the best way possible. Imagine playing Super Mario 64. Now, imagine having the camera being VERY close to Mario’s back. Now, imagine that he would always stop his punches to say, “Let’s a go”. NOW, imagine that he could only jump once, instead of doing a double or triple jump. Bad, right. Well, that’s what playing as Shinobu feels like. Not only do we have to play as one of the most unlikable characters in the franchise, but we also have to fight REALLY annoying bosses with her. She has such a pathetic jump, and she will always stop her combos just to taunt people. And, she has to fight Million Gunman, a banker who always runs away from you, and New Destroyman, two Destroymen who can fight you. HOW DID YOU FUCK UP HAVING TWO OF THESE GUYS! It’s like your favorite comedian having another version of themselves, but instead of being funny, they just talk about the stock market. Who couldn’t we have played as Sir Henry Motherfucker. He was so much more fun
#2: All Caves in Pokemon - No one, I repeat NO ONE likes the caves. With each generation Pokemon games, everyone who buys it always fears about going inside the caves. And why shouldn’t they be. The caves are fucking awful. Now, whenever you go in the caves, you will ALWAYS run into wild Pokemon. At first, its okay, but then, another one comes, and then another, and then another, and then you just get fucking pissed off. And no matter how much Repel you buy, it will always run out before you get out of the cave. You could buy 100 cans of Repel and only come out of the cave with 2. That’s how annoying the caves are. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the average amount of caves in each game are 6. THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT 6 TIMES!!!
#1: The Great Maze from Super Smash Bros. Brawl - I hate, hate hate, hate, HATE The Great Maze. For all those who wanted to know why I chose Melee over Brawl, well here you go. So, after you go through the whole game trying to catch the villains of the Nintendo series, you find out that there is something worse. So, the only way to catch him is by completing the Great Maze. Once here, you are forced to walk through a large maze built of all the stages you were in in the game, filled with the strongest enemies in the game. And, just like a maze, YOU WILL GET LOST! You will always be looking at your map, hoping to find a way to the exit. So after a whole hour of looking, you finally find the exit… but, it won’t open. You wanna know how you open that door…. Well, you have to BACKTRACK THROUGH THE MAZE AND FIGHT ALL THE BOSSES IN THE GAME ALL OVER AGAIN, ONLY NOW, THEY ARE HARDER, AND HAVE MORE HEALTH! Who thought that going through a confusing maze and fighting all of the bosses again was a good idea. This level alone took SIX HOURS to complete. SIX FUCKING HOURS! And, I would have forgiven it all. I would have just let it slide, if, it wasn’t for the fact, that this level alone ran out the fresh batteries I put in the Wii remote, and I didn’t have anymore batteries, so I had to turn the console off, buy new batteries, and replay the Great Mae FOR A SECOND FUCKING TIME! FUCK YOU, GREAT MAZE! FUCK YOU!!!
So, there you go. Did you like the list. Tell me below. With that, I will see you guys next time.
Bowser: bwahaha!
Zalgo: what is he laughing about?
Mewtwo: about something stupid i'm sure...
Bowser: our villain meeting is now in session!
Robotnik: woo!
All: ...
Robotnik: awkward...
Bowser: moving on...
Zalgo: please do!
Bowser: first order of business, we must gather all the villains to over power the heros!
Mewtwo: but wouldn't they team up also?
All: ._.
Bowser: fuc*
Me: yep... they are lemons
All: shut-up!
Me: :D
*SpongeBob reference FTW*
Zalgo: what is he laughing about?
Mewtwo: about something stupid i'm sure...
Bowser: our villain meeting is now in session!
Robotnik: woo!
All: ...
Robotnik: awkward...
Bowser: moving on...
Zalgo: please do!
Bowser: first order of business, we must gather all the villains to over power the heros!
Mewtwo: but wouldn't they team up also?
All: ._.
Bowser: fuc*
Me: yep... they are lemons
All: shut-up!
Me: :D
*SpongeBob reference FTW*