Link: Okay, so, who is the next helpless idiot we need to help
Tetra: Well, the next person on the list is a girl named Maggie.
Link: Go on
Tetra: Well, she is a rich girl and-
Link: Stop right there. That's all I needed to hear. If she's rich, she must be beautiful
Tetra: Uh, Link, I don't think you should-
Link: Shut up, you're not fucking me over like last time
(Later, at the House of Wealth)
Link: Okay, so, where can we find Maggie
Maggie's Father: Oh, hello. How can I help you
Link: Hey, I am here to help your daughter
Maggie's Father: Yeah, who cares? Why don't you help me? I need you to go and kill a bunch of Moblins and take there necklaces, that way, I can sell them for lots of money. Do this and I will reward you handsomely.
Link: I like you already. Okay, but, first, I need to see your daughter (Just think of the sex we'll have)
(A few minutes later)
Maggie: (Deep voice) I am a beautiful woman
Link: OH GOD, I THINK I'M GAY NOW!
Maggie: Can you help me
Link: As long as it gets me away from you sooner
Maggie: You see, I met this man at the Forsaken Fortress. He was a nice man named Moe. But, once I came here, I couldn't see him. Please, can you go and talk to him.
Link: Moe, huh... Fine
(Later, at the Forsaken Fortress)
Tetra: Glad you're helping her with her love problem
Link: Sure, Tetra.
(Later)
Moe: Hey..... Are you.... uh....
Link: A hero, you dumbass
Moe: That's it.... Hey, can you give this letter... to....... uh
Link: Maggie
Moe: That's it
Link: Well, I could, but, you have a necklace I need
Moe: Necklace?
Link: That thing around your neck. I want it
Moe: Uh............... no
Link: Okay then
(Later)
Tetra: LINK
Link: Hey, he didn't give it to me, plus he worked for Ganondorf.
Tetra: That doesn't mean you should kill him
Link: Oh, don't worry, Maggie won't know I killed him
Tetra: You better have had a good reason to kill him.
Link: I did
(Later, at the House of Wealth)
Maggie's Father: Here is the money I promised
Tetra: Just....... Just fuck it
TO BE CONTINUED
Tetra: Well, the next person on the list is a girl named Maggie.
Link: Go on
Tetra: Well, she is a rich girl and-
Link: Stop right there. That's all I needed to hear. If she's rich, she must be beautiful
Tetra: Uh, Link, I don't think you should-
Link: Shut up, you're not fucking me over like last time
(Later, at the House of Wealth)
Link: Okay, so, where can we find Maggie
Maggie's Father: Oh, hello. How can I help you
Link: Hey, I am here to help your daughter
Maggie's Father: Yeah, who cares? Why don't you help me? I need you to go and kill a bunch of Moblins and take there necklaces, that way, I can sell them for lots of money. Do this and I will reward you handsomely.
Link: I like you already. Okay, but, first, I need to see your daughter (Just think of the sex we'll have)
(A few minutes later)
Maggie: (Deep voice) I am a beautiful woman
Link: OH GOD, I THINK I'M GAY NOW!
Maggie: Can you help me
Link: As long as it gets me away from you sooner
Maggie: You see, I met this man at the Forsaken Fortress. He was a nice man named Moe. But, once I came here, I couldn't see him. Please, can you go and talk to him.
Link: Moe, huh... Fine
(Later, at the Forsaken Fortress)
Tetra: Glad you're helping her with her love problem
Link: Sure, Tetra.
(Later)
Moe: Hey..... Are you.... uh....
Link: A hero, you dumbass
Moe: That's it.... Hey, can you give this letter... to....... uh
Link: Maggie
Moe: That's it
Link: Well, I could, but, you have a necklace I need
Moe: Necklace?
Link: That thing around your neck. I want it
Moe: Uh............... no
Link: Okay then
(Later)
Tetra: LINK
Link: Hey, he didn't give it to me, plus he worked for Ganondorf.
Tetra: That doesn't mean you should kill him
Link: Oh, don't worry, Maggie won't know I killed him
Tetra: You better have had a good reason to kill him.
Link: I did
(Later, at the House of Wealth)
Maggie's Father: Here is the money I promised
Tetra: Just....... Just fuck it
TO BE CONTINUED
It'll be way easier to write this in script form.. I obviously wasn't getting anywhere writing it the other way.
Joe: You screwed up asshole!
Rick: Yes, yes., You said that several times now..
Joe: You killed our friend, now were kill YOU!
Rick: Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: ... A -Are you serious.. I literary JUST explained it.
Rick: Explained what?
Joe: ... Are you braindead or something?
Rick: ... Who's braindead? Is he a friend of yours?
Joe: Shut up!.. I'll shoot your brains out.
Rick: That's horrible. Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: (screaming) BECAUSE YOU KILLED OUR FUCKIN FRIEND!
Rick: WHEN!?
Joe: In the house, idiot!
Rick: What house!?
Joe: Just shut and listen!... I won't kill you straight away! First were beat Daryl to death.. Then the girl... Then were shoot and be square.
Rick: (singing in head) "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon"
Joe: You screwed up asshole!
Rick: Yes, yes., You said that several times now..
Joe: You killed our friend, now were kill YOU!
Rick: Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: ... A -Are you serious.. I literary JUST explained it.
Rick: Explained what?
Joe: ... Are you braindead or something?
Rick: ... Who's braindead? Is he a friend of yours?
Joe: Shut up!.. I'll shoot your brains out.
Rick: That's horrible. Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: (screaming) BECAUSE YOU KILLED OUR FUCKIN FRIEND!
Rick: WHEN!?
Joe: In the house, idiot!
Rick: What house!?
Joe: Just shut and listen!... I won't kill you straight away! First were beat Daryl to death.. Then the girl... Then were shoot and be square.
Rick: (singing in head) "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon"