Nick VS Litterbugs
Nick: (Sleeping in his dorm)
Cody: (Knocks on his door)
Nick: (Crawls out of bed, then onto the floor, then crawls over to the door and opens it)
Cody: Hey, Nick, I was wondering when your gonna get up for school
Nick: ................ (Tries to shut door, but Cody blocks it with his foot)
Cody: Now, come on, you need to get to your classes
Nick: I'm sick... Now piss off (Shuts door) (Well, I'm sick of classes that is)
(A piece of garbage gets thrown at the window of his dorm and leaves a large stain on it)
Nick: What the hell (Looks outside to see a crowd of people walking by his dorm throwing their garbage onto the streets) Don't you people bother to use garbage cans. Where's the police when you need them
Police Officer: (Finishes cup of coffee and throws cup on the ground)
Nick: (Growls) (Sees the crowd walk toward his car) Oh no. Not my car (Runs outside as fast as he can) (Litterbugs throw garbage over his car but none of it get on his car)
Nick: (Walks outside to see no garbage on his car) Oh, thank god (Wind occurs and blows the garbage onto his car, covering it in garbage)
Nick: (Eye twitches) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Cody: (Knocks on door) Hey, Nick, are you feeling better (No answer) (Opens door, to see Nick taping something together) I thought you were sick
Nick: I lied so you would piss off
Cody: What are you doing
Nick: Well, I am working on a death ray
Cody: ............ Why
Nick: Because the litterbug problem has gotten to me, and my car. Now, its time to get rid of them
Cody: Nick, it is physically impossible to make a death ray
Nick: ......... Your right. I don't have any uranium..... Oh well, when in doubt (Grabs crowbar) Use a crowbar.
Cody: What's a crowbar gonna do
Nick: Simple. It, or rather, me, am gonna beat those stupid litterbugs until they learn to toss their damn garbage into a trashbin for once
Cody: You can't just get the world to stop littering
Nick: ............... Who said I wanted to keep the world from littering. All I care about is getting rid of the litterbugs here in the local university.
Cody: And, how is a crowbar going to solve those problems.
Nick: Simple, you get beat with it. End of story
Cody: I would like to see how this goes without you getting arrested.
Nick: I'll show you.
Litterbug: (Throws hamburger wrapper on ground)
Nick: (Comes out of nowhere) Ah-Ha. I see you there litterbug (Hits his hand with the crowbar)
Litterbug: Ouch. That hurt
Nick: It's gonna hurt more if you don't pick up that piece of garbage
Litterbug: ......... (Runs off)
Nick: Get back here (Chases him with the crowbar, but runs out of breathe and just tosses the crowbar at him) Yeah, you better run, you bastard.
Police Officer: Sir, I believe you were chasing that man with a crowbar.
Nick: Correction, I was chasing a criminal with a crowbar, and was going to beat him with it
Nick: (In jail cell) You’re just jealous because I did more work of stopping them then you do
Cody: (Comes by) Oh, I knew it
Nick: Did you pay for my bail
Cody: Only so I could rub it in
Nick: Shut up.
Nick: (In his dorm) Okay, so, what else can I do
Cody: You can give it up and call it a day
Nick: No. Only failures in life like you quit
Cody: And, I’m friends with you, why?
Nick: Now, what can we do
Cody: Well, this is more of just you, because, I don’t want any part of it
Nick: Fine. I’ll solve the problem myself. Think, think
Cody: Saying think really doesn’t help
Nick: Shut up, before I set you on fire……. fire……… By god I got it
Cody: You’re gonna fight fire with fire
Nick: Well, really, I was gonna set them on fire, but that works, too
Litterbug: (Eats in his car, with the window rolled down, only to get covered in garbage)
Nick: (Holding a now empty garbage can) Yeah, how does it feel? Not so good, does it.
Litterbug: Now, why the hell did you go and do that for
Nick: That was for my car (Grabs another garbage can and pours it on him) That’s for not using a garbage can (Pours another can of garbage on him) And that’s because you deserved it.
Litterbug: Will you stop dumping garbage on me.
Nick: Only after you learn to use a garbage can
Litterbug: Okay, okay. I will stop
Nick: Good…….. (Pours out another can of garbage on him) That’s to make sure you aren’t lying
Nick: (Reads door and shivers with fear) Are you sure this is a good idea
Cody: Well, you want to get rid of litterbugs, and these guys don’t mind picking up garbage, so, what choice do you have
Nick: Fine (Knocks on door)
Environmentalist: Oh, welcome brothers, to the Environment Protection Club. I am Oak Tree
Nick: The students call you Mr. Adams
Oak Tree: No, that’s just my citizen name. I am talking about my earth name. Now, what can I do for you, my brothers.
Nick: Well, a bunch of stupid environment hating douchebags are going around dumping their filthy garbage on the streets, in the forest, in the lake, and, more importantly, on my car.
Oak Tree: Oh, well, that is a problem, brother.
Nick: Yes, it is a problem. And, since none of you are a bunch of peace loving tree huggers, you don’t mind fighting back, so you’re perfect for the job.
Oak Tree: You’re right, brother. We could help mother nature and finally clean the earth for-
Nick: Yeah, that’s great. Can you help or not
Oak Tree: Sure brother
Nick: Perfect.
Nick: (Walks through clean streets) Ah ha, now, I can finally enjoy a peaceful day without any filthy litterbugs around. (Drinks bottle of alcohol and tosses it in garbage can)
Oak Tree: (Comes by) Woah woah, hold on brother. That’s the recycling bin for plastic.
Nick: So, I don’t recycle.
Oak Tree: Sorry, brother, but, its the way of not littering.
Nick: Oh, fine (Takes out bottle and throws it into right recycling bin) Sheesh, when did throwing garbage away become so complicated. It’s better to just throw it on the ground.
End.
Nick: (Sleeping in his dorm)
Cody: (Knocks on his door)
Nick: (Crawls out of bed, then onto the floor, then crawls over to the door and opens it)
Cody: Hey, Nick, I was wondering when your gonna get up for school
Nick: ................ (Tries to shut door, but Cody blocks it with his foot)
Cody: Now, come on, you need to get to your classes
Nick: I'm sick... Now piss off (Shuts door) (Well, I'm sick of classes that is)
(A piece of garbage gets thrown at the window of his dorm and leaves a large stain on it)
Nick: What the hell (Looks outside to see a crowd of people walking by his dorm throwing their garbage onto the streets) Don't you people bother to use garbage cans. Where's the police when you need them
Police Officer: (Finishes cup of coffee and throws cup on the ground)
Nick: (Growls) (Sees the crowd walk toward his car) Oh no. Not my car (Runs outside as fast as he can) (Litterbugs throw garbage over his car but none of it get on his car)
Nick: (Walks outside to see no garbage on his car) Oh, thank god (Wind occurs and blows the garbage onto his car, covering it in garbage)
Nick: (Eye twitches) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Cody: (Knocks on door) Hey, Nick, are you feeling better (No answer) (Opens door, to see Nick taping something together) I thought you were sick
Nick: I lied so you would piss off
Cody: What are you doing
Nick: Well, I am working on a death ray
Cody: ............ Why
Nick: Because the litterbug problem has gotten to me, and my car. Now, its time to get rid of them
Cody: Nick, it is physically impossible to make a death ray
Nick: ......... Your right. I don't have any uranium..... Oh well, when in doubt (Grabs crowbar) Use a crowbar.
Cody: What's a crowbar gonna do
Nick: Simple. It, or rather, me, am gonna beat those stupid litterbugs until they learn to toss their damn garbage into a trashbin for once
Cody: You can't just get the world to stop littering
Nick: ............... Who said I wanted to keep the world from littering. All I care about is getting rid of the litterbugs here in the local university.
Cody: And, how is a crowbar going to solve those problems.
Nick: Simple, you get beat with it. End of story
Cody: I would like to see how this goes without you getting arrested.
Nick: I'll show you.
Litterbug: (Throws hamburger wrapper on ground)
Nick: (Comes out of nowhere) Ah-Ha. I see you there litterbug (Hits his hand with the crowbar)
Litterbug: Ouch. That hurt
Nick: It's gonna hurt more if you don't pick up that piece of garbage
Litterbug: ......... (Runs off)
Nick: Get back here (Chases him with the crowbar, but runs out of breathe and just tosses the crowbar at him) Yeah, you better run, you bastard.
Police Officer: Sir, I believe you were chasing that man with a crowbar.
Nick: Correction, I was chasing a criminal with a crowbar, and was going to beat him with it
Nick: (In jail cell) You’re just jealous because I did more work of stopping them then you do
Cody: (Comes by) Oh, I knew it
Nick: Did you pay for my bail
Cody: Only so I could rub it in
Nick: Shut up.
Nick: (In his dorm) Okay, so, what else can I do
Cody: You can give it up and call it a day
Nick: No. Only failures in life like you quit
Cody: And, I’m friends with you, why?
Nick: Now, what can we do
Cody: Well, this is more of just you, because, I don’t want any part of it
Nick: Fine. I’ll solve the problem myself. Think, think
Cody: Saying think really doesn’t help
Nick: Shut up, before I set you on fire……. fire……… By god I got it
Cody: You’re gonna fight fire with fire
Nick: Well, really, I was gonna set them on fire, but that works, too
Litterbug: (Eats in his car, with the window rolled down, only to get covered in garbage)
Nick: (Holding a now empty garbage can) Yeah, how does it feel? Not so good, does it.
Litterbug: Now, why the hell did you go and do that for
Nick: That was for my car (Grabs another garbage can and pours it on him) That’s for not using a garbage can (Pours another can of garbage on him) And that’s because you deserved it.
Litterbug: Will you stop dumping garbage on me.
Nick: Only after you learn to use a garbage can
Litterbug: Okay, okay. I will stop
Nick: Good…….. (Pours out another can of garbage on him) That’s to make sure you aren’t lying
Nick: (Reads door and shivers with fear) Are you sure this is a good idea
Cody: Well, you want to get rid of litterbugs, and these guys don’t mind picking up garbage, so, what choice do you have
Nick: Fine (Knocks on door)
Environmentalist: Oh, welcome brothers, to the Environment Protection Club. I am Oak Tree
Nick: The students call you Mr. Adams
Oak Tree: No, that’s just my citizen name. I am talking about my earth name. Now, what can I do for you, my brothers.
Nick: Well, a bunch of stupid environment hating douchebags are going around dumping their filthy garbage on the streets, in the forest, in the lake, and, more importantly, on my car.
Oak Tree: Oh, well, that is a problem, brother.
Nick: Yes, it is a problem. And, since none of you are a bunch of peace loving tree huggers, you don’t mind fighting back, so you’re perfect for the job.
Oak Tree: You’re right, brother. We could help mother nature and finally clean the earth for-
Nick: Yeah, that’s great. Can you help or not
Oak Tree: Sure brother
Nick: Perfect.
Nick: (Walks through clean streets) Ah ha, now, I can finally enjoy a peaceful day without any filthy litterbugs around. (Drinks bottle of alcohol and tosses it in garbage can)
Oak Tree: (Comes by) Woah woah, hold on brother. That’s the recycling bin for plastic.
Nick: So, I don’t recycle.
Oak Tree: Sorry, brother, but, its the way of not littering.
Nick: Oh, fine (Takes out bottle and throws it into right recycling bin) Sheesh, when did throwing garbage away become so complicated. It’s better to just throw it on the ground.
End.