Medli: Oh, damn, I've been trying to genetically create Link by using that blood sample. Maybe I need a seaman sample as well. Perhaps I can seduce him to- Wait, if I did that then why would I need to create this clone of his in the first place
Link: Hey, Medli
Medli: Link. You've returned. I knew you'd come back for-
Link: Yeah, whatever. Listen, I need to find some psychotic bird human hybrid, and you fit that position well, so, come on
Medli: Wait, what would my father think
Link: I already talked to him
(Flashback)
Link: And that's why I need your daughter
Postman King: But can't you just take my son. He bitches like a girl
Link: Yeah, I would, but I don't want to deal with that prick
Postman King: Can't really blame you. Alright then, but I swear, if anything happens to her, I'll rip your fucking nuts off with my bare hands, got it
Link: Loud and clear
Postman King: Damn right it is
Medli: Oh Link. It's so peaceful out here. Just you and me
King of Red Lions: I'm right here
Medli: (Pulls out knife) Shut the fuck up. Don't you ruin this for me
King of Red Lions: Okay
Medli: Like I said, JUST THE TWO OF US, sailing across the ocean in moonlight. It's so peaceful. Right Link
Link: (Snores)
Medli: ........ Shit
King of Red Lions: Well, here we are, the next temple
Link: So, what is going to happen here
King of Red Lions: Stuff that will probably scare you for the rest of your life and shit. No pressure though
Link: Thanks for that vote of confidence
King of Red Lions: Your welcome. Now get in there
Link: Well, shit. Looks like father time really made this place his bitch
Medli: Well, it's no room with velvet bed sheets and I may not be wearing stockings and nothing else as my fangirl fantasies wanted, but it will do
Link: What are you saying
Medli: Oh, nothing
Link: Okay then........ By the way, if your smelling my hair, I'll cut you
Medli: (Backs away)
Link: Hey, Medli. What do you think this thing is (Looks at Redead)
Medli: Looks like a statue to me
Link: Hey, I got an idea. Take a picture of me with this thing
Medli: Okay.... Wait, when did I start carrying around a camera
Link: Okay, is it ready (Redead wakes up)
Medli: Not yet. Just about-
Redead: (Screams and grabs Link)
Link: AH!!! WHAT THE FUCK
Redead: Are you ready boy
Link: Fine, eat me, I don't care
Redead: (Laughs) Oh, I'm not going to eat you
Link: Then what are you going to do
Redead: Well, it involves your body and something going inside of it
Link: Please tell me its a sword
Redead: Well, you could say that........ It's funny because I am talking about penis
Link: AHH!!! MEDLI, HELP
Medli: Huh, oh right (Throws rock at Redead)
Redead: Ouch. That hurt
Link: (Stabs Redead multiple times) Die you creppy undead pedo
Medli: Oh Link, are you okay
Link: Yeah, thanks for helping
Medli: Oh, Link, it was nothing
Link: Yeah, I owe you
Medli: Oh, you don't have to do that..... Unless you want to, because I accept sex
Link: What
Medli: Nothing
Link: Okay, here is the boss room
Medli: Okay, you go in and I'll wait here
Link: Why
Medli: Well, do you think I'd be of any use
Link: Good point (Walks into boss room)
Ghosts: (Dance to music)
Link: What the hell
Ghost: Hey everyone, look. It's a man. An actual living man
All Ghosts: OOHHH
Link: Oh dear god, what the fuck is this
Ghost: Hey, are you here to join the party, silly goose
Link: Um... no
Ghost: Aw, thats too bad. But what are you hear for
Link: To just power up my sword so I can kill Ganondorf
Ghost: Oh, that Ganondorf. He so fly. He has bad taste in fashion though
Link: So... Should I like kill you all or can I just get my powers
Ghost: Oh, sure, we don't believe in violence like the Wind Temple. Gosh, those Wind Guys there are just so rude. And why do they need all that leather anyway. It isn't an S&M club, its a temple
Link: Okay, I'll just get my powers now (Master Sword glows) Wow, it feels stronger alrea- Okay, bored
Medli: Link, your safe and- What the hell is going on here
Link: Don't ask
Medli: Well, I guess you should get going now
Link: Should I? From what these guys said, the Wind Temple sounds god awful. I think I'll just stay here a little while and-
Ghost: Hey everyone. It's time to watch Teen Mom
All Ghosts: OOHHHHHH
Random Ghost: Her shoes are so tacky
Link: Well, I guess I should go. Bye Medli (Leaves)
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: Hey, Medli
Medli: Link. You've returned. I knew you'd come back for-
Link: Yeah, whatever. Listen, I need to find some psychotic bird human hybrid, and you fit that position well, so, come on
Medli: Wait, what would my father think
Link: I already talked to him
(Flashback)
Link: And that's why I need your daughter
Postman King: But can't you just take my son. He bitches like a girl
Link: Yeah, I would, but I don't want to deal with that prick
Postman King: Can't really blame you. Alright then, but I swear, if anything happens to her, I'll rip your fucking nuts off with my bare hands, got it
Link: Loud and clear
Postman King: Damn right it is
Medli: Oh Link. It's so peaceful out here. Just you and me
King of Red Lions: I'm right here
Medli: (Pulls out knife) Shut the fuck up. Don't you ruin this for me
King of Red Lions: Okay
Medli: Like I said, JUST THE TWO OF US, sailing across the ocean in moonlight. It's so peaceful. Right Link
Link: (Snores)
Medli: ........ Shit
King of Red Lions: Well, here we are, the next temple
Link: So, what is going to happen here
King of Red Lions: Stuff that will probably scare you for the rest of your life and shit. No pressure though
Link: Thanks for that vote of confidence
King of Red Lions: Your welcome. Now get in there
Link: Well, shit. Looks like father time really made this place his bitch
Medli: Well, it's no room with velvet bed sheets and I may not be wearing stockings and nothing else as my fangirl fantasies wanted, but it will do
Link: What are you saying
Medli: Oh, nothing
Link: Okay then........ By the way, if your smelling my hair, I'll cut you
Medli: (Backs away)
Link: Hey, Medli. What do you think this thing is (Looks at Redead)
Medli: Looks like a statue to me
Link: Hey, I got an idea. Take a picture of me with this thing
Medli: Okay.... Wait, when did I start carrying around a camera
Link: Okay, is it ready (Redead wakes up)
Medli: Not yet. Just about-
Redead: (Screams and grabs Link)
Link: AH!!! WHAT THE FUCK
Redead: Are you ready boy
Link: Fine, eat me, I don't care
Redead: (Laughs) Oh, I'm not going to eat you
Link: Then what are you going to do
Redead: Well, it involves your body and something going inside of it
Link: Please tell me its a sword
Redead: Well, you could say that........ It's funny because I am talking about penis
Link: AHH!!! MEDLI, HELP
Medli: Huh, oh right (Throws rock at Redead)
Redead: Ouch. That hurt
Link: (Stabs Redead multiple times) Die you creppy undead pedo
Medli: Oh Link, are you okay
Link: Yeah, thanks for helping
Medli: Oh, Link, it was nothing
Link: Yeah, I owe you
Medli: Oh, you don't have to do that..... Unless you want to, because I accept sex
Link: What
Medli: Nothing
Link: Okay, here is the boss room
Medli: Okay, you go in and I'll wait here
Link: Why
Medli: Well, do you think I'd be of any use
Link: Good point (Walks into boss room)
Ghosts: (Dance to music)
Link: What the hell
Ghost: Hey everyone, look. It's a man. An actual living man
All Ghosts: OOHHH
Link: Oh dear god, what the fuck is this
Ghost: Hey, are you here to join the party, silly goose
Link: Um... no
Ghost: Aw, thats too bad. But what are you hear for
Link: To just power up my sword so I can kill Ganondorf
Ghost: Oh, that Ganondorf. He so fly. He has bad taste in fashion though
Link: So... Should I like kill you all or can I just get my powers
Ghost: Oh, sure, we don't believe in violence like the Wind Temple. Gosh, those Wind Guys there are just so rude. And why do they need all that leather anyway. It isn't an S&M club, its a temple
Link: Okay, I'll just get my powers now (Master Sword glows) Wow, it feels stronger alrea- Okay, bored
Medli: Link, your safe and- What the hell is going on here
Link: Don't ask
Medli: Well, I guess you should get going now
Link: Should I? From what these guys said, the Wind Temple sounds god awful. I think I'll just stay here a little while and-
Ghost: Hey everyone. It's time to watch Teen Mom
All Ghosts: OOHHHHHH
Random Ghost: Her shoes are so tacky
Link: Well, I guess I should go. Bye Medli (Leaves)
TO BE CONTINUED
It'll be way easier to write this in script form.. I obviously wasn't getting anywhere writing it the other way.
Joe: You screwed up asshole!
Rick: Yes, yes., You said that several times now..
Joe: You killed our friend, now were kill YOU!
Rick: Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: ... A -Are you serious.. I literary JUST explained it.
Rick: Explained what?
Joe: ... Are you braindead or something?
Rick: ... Who's braindead? Is he a friend of yours?
Joe: Shut up!.. I'll shoot your brains out.
Rick: That's horrible. Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: (screaming) BECAUSE YOU KILLED OUR FUCKIN FRIEND!
Rick: WHEN!?
Joe: In the house, idiot!
Rick: What house!?
Joe: Just shut and listen!... I won't kill you straight away! First were beat Daryl to death.. Then the girl... Then were shoot and be square.
Rick: (singing in head) "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon"
Joe: You screwed up asshole!
Rick: Yes, yes., You said that several times now..
Joe: You killed our friend, now were kill YOU!
Rick: Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: ... A -Are you serious.. I literary JUST explained it.
Rick: Explained what?
Joe: ... Are you braindead or something?
Rick: ... Who's braindead? Is he a friend of yours?
Joe: Shut up!.. I'll shoot your brains out.
Rick: That's horrible. Why would you want to kill me?
Joe: (screaming) BECAUSE YOU KILLED OUR FUCKIN FRIEND!
Rick: WHEN!?
Joe: In the house, idiot!
Rick: What house!?
Joe: Just shut and listen!... I won't kill you straight away! First were beat Daryl to death.. Then the girl... Then were shoot and be square.
Rick: (singing in head) "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon"