King of Red Lions: Now that we have all the orbs, we can finally place them on three islands and get into another temple
Link: FUUUUUUUU-
Blue Statue: (Heavy sigh)
Link: So, are you one of the statues I have to, for some reason, place a ball on
Blue Statue: Whatever
Link: Um.... Okay (Places ball on statue)
Red Statue: Who the fuck are you
Link: Um... I came to give you this ball
Red Statue: Get the fuck out of my face
Link: I'll just place it here (Places ball on statue)
Green Statue: Wow, man, welcome, bro
Link: Yeah, can you hold this
Green Statue: Sure man, I'll hold your ball....... Oh man, man, that so did not come out right, bro
Link: Yeah, I've been getting that a lot (Places ball on statue)
Green Statue: Hey man, you ever get an exploding feeling
Link: It depends on where your going with this
Green Statue: I feel as though I'm about to- (Blows up and launches Link into the air) (Temple comes from the water)
Link: Oh shit, not again (Hits face on temple) Why..... Is it always..... My face (Falls into ocean)
King of Red Lions: Well, we made it, I guess we should get you inside now
Link: Yeah, whatever
Link: Whoa this place is huge
King of Red Lions: Yeah, it can take forever to get through here
Link: And I forgot to charge my i Phone. Only one thing left. Montage time (Link travels through temple) (Link shoots eye with arrow) (Link pushes block) (Link opens door) (Link learns song) Wait, a control song. Hmmmm....
(Imagination)
Link: (Plays song)
Tetra: I am at your command
Link: Make me sandwich
Tetra: Yes master
(Later)
Tetra: Here is your sandwich master
Link: I asked for turkey, you dumb bitch
Tetra: I apologize master
Link: Oh, blow me
Tetra: As you command master
(Present)
Link: Fuck yes, got to write this down
Link: Yeah, finally, I got through that temple. Thank you montage
???: You have done well to get here, young one. Now, you must face your toughest challenge yet.... A giant rock with hands
Link: ............ That's really boring
???: Yeah, us gods didn't know what we were thinking at the time.... Oh well, just fight him to the death
Link: Wait, what
Godan: DIE (Shoots fireballs)
King of Red Lions: Hmm... Link sure has been in there a long time. I should call him (Picks up phone) Link
Link: OH MY GOD (Gets shot at with fireballs)
King of Red Lions: Link.... Oh well (Hangs up) .....Wait a moment
(Flashback)
Link: OH MY GOD
(Present)
King of Red Lions: Hold on just a moment....... How can I use a phone. I'm a goddamn boat
Link: (Kills boss) Oh thank god
???: You have done well, young one. You are truly-
Link: Just let me fucking go
???: Fine fine (Link teleports out of temple)
King of Red Lions: Maybe I have mind control or something. Maybe I can just make stuff move with my mind
Link: (Teleports on boat)
King of Red Lions: Oh Link, are you okay
Link: I just want to get away from this place as far as possible
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: FUUUUUUUU-
Blue Statue: (Heavy sigh)
Link: So, are you one of the statues I have to, for some reason, place a ball on
Blue Statue: Whatever
Link: Um.... Okay (Places ball on statue)
Red Statue: Who the fuck are you
Link: Um... I came to give you this ball
Red Statue: Get the fuck out of my face
Link: I'll just place it here (Places ball on statue)
Green Statue: Wow, man, welcome, bro
Link: Yeah, can you hold this
Green Statue: Sure man, I'll hold your ball....... Oh man, man, that so did not come out right, bro
Link: Yeah, I've been getting that a lot (Places ball on statue)
Green Statue: Hey man, you ever get an exploding feeling
Link: It depends on where your going with this
Green Statue: I feel as though I'm about to- (Blows up and launches Link into the air) (Temple comes from the water)
Link: Oh shit, not again (Hits face on temple) Why..... Is it always..... My face (Falls into ocean)
King of Red Lions: Well, we made it, I guess we should get you inside now
Link: Yeah, whatever
Link: Whoa this place is huge
King of Red Lions: Yeah, it can take forever to get through here
Link: And I forgot to charge my i Phone. Only one thing left. Montage time (Link travels through temple) (Link shoots eye with arrow) (Link pushes block) (Link opens door) (Link learns song) Wait, a control song. Hmmmm....
(Imagination)
Link: (Plays song)
Tetra: I am at your command
Link: Make me sandwich
Tetra: Yes master
(Later)
Tetra: Here is your sandwich master
Link: I asked for turkey, you dumb bitch
Tetra: I apologize master
Link: Oh, blow me
Tetra: As you command master
(Present)
Link: Fuck yes, got to write this down
Link: Yeah, finally, I got through that temple. Thank you montage
???: You have done well to get here, young one. Now, you must face your toughest challenge yet.... A giant rock with hands
Link: ............ That's really boring
???: Yeah, us gods didn't know what we were thinking at the time.... Oh well, just fight him to the death
Link: Wait, what
Godan: DIE (Shoots fireballs)
King of Red Lions: Hmm... Link sure has been in there a long time. I should call him (Picks up phone) Link
Link: OH MY GOD (Gets shot at with fireballs)
King of Red Lions: Link.... Oh well (Hangs up) .....Wait a moment
(Flashback)
Link: OH MY GOD
(Present)
King of Red Lions: Hold on just a moment....... How can I use a phone. I'm a goddamn boat
Link: (Kills boss) Oh thank god
???: You have done well, young one. You are truly-
Link: Just let me fucking go
???: Fine fine (Link teleports out of temple)
King of Red Lions: Maybe I have mind control or something. Maybe I can just make stuff move with my mind
Link: (Teleports on boat)
King of Red Lions: Oh Link, are you okay
Link: I just want to get away from this place as far as possible
TO BE CONTINUED
Unpa Lunpa doom-pa-de-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do