King of Red Lions: Ah, here we are. Forest Haven
Link: If its a haven, then why is there a temple that is possibly filled with demonic hellspawns
King Red of Lions: ........................................... Anyway, just go and meet the Great Deku Tree
Link: Wait, didn't that guy die in the past games
King of Red Lions: Yeah, but were in a different game, so its okay
Link: Oh okay
Link: Okay, so where is this giant tree
Great Deku Tree: Oh, hello there, good sir
Link: Who are you
Great Deku Tree: I am the Great Deku Tree....... obviously. I am the only tree in the world with a face
Link: So, where is the temple
Great Deku Tree: Let me show you my children
Link: That's not what I said (Deku Scrubs appear)
Great Deku Tree: Aren't they lovely
Link: Your not answering my question
Great Deku Tree: I protect them for as long as I can
Link: I really fucking hate you
Great Deku Tree: Wait. Where is Makar
Deku Scrub: Wait, Makar. Oh that's right, we left that loser in the Forbidden Woods. What a fucking dork
Great Deku Tree: Oh no. That Makar is always clumsy
Link: Wow, you all are fucking useless
Great Deku Tree: Link, can you please go and save Makar
Link: Oh fine. I want to get away from you fucking idiots anyway
Link: (In Forbidden Woods) Okay, so all I got to do is travel through this dump. Where should I go...... Hmm (Takes out i Phone and looks up Legend of Zelda: Walkthrough) Ah ha. This is what I do
Link: Did it. I made it through the temple without using any hints....... Anyway, where's Makar
Makar: (With deep voice) Hey, where the fuck have you been, asshole. You better fucking rescue me
Link: ......... What kind of little kids voice is that
Makar: I'm not a little kid. I'm a goddamn midget
Link: Okay then. So, where is the temple boss
Boss: (Eats Makar) (Burps)
Link: That's the boss....... It's just a plant with a crown
Plant Boss: Ha. This isn't even my final form (Transforms into a giant plant monster) Now, prepare to di- (Link kills boss) (Makar falls out of plant)
Makar: Ah, what the fucking fuck. That was the most fucking disgusting moment of my fucking life. Goddamn cocksucker
Link: Wow, you have such a potty mouth
Makar: Oh fuck off. Just get me out of here
Great Deku Tree: Makar, your o-
Makar: Fuck you, you tree fucker
Great Deku Tree: I missed you too. And ass for you Link, I grant you this bal. Please, do grasp my ball in your hand
Link: ............................................
Great Deku Tree: That so did not come out right
Link: Yeah, I'l just go now. Bye Makar
Makar: Fuck you
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: If its a haven, then why is there a temple that is possibly filled with demonic hellspawns
King Red of Lions: ........................................... Anyway, just go and meet the Great Deku Tree
Link: Wait, didn't that guy die in the past games
King of Red Lions: Yeah, but were in a different game, so its okay
Link: Oh okay
Link: Okay, so where is this giant tree
Great Deku Tree: Oh, hello there, good sir
Link: Who are you
Great Deku Tree: I am the Great Deku Tree....... obviously. I am the only tree in the world with a face
Link: So, where is the temple
Great Deku Tree: Let me show you my children
Link: That's not what I said (Deku Scrubs appear)
Great Deku Tree: Aren't they lovely
Link: Your not answering my question
Great Deku Tree: I protect them for as long as I can
Link: I really fucking hate you
Great Deku Tree: Wait. Where is Makar
Deku Scrub: Wait, Makar. Oh that's right, we left that loser in the Forbidden Woods. What a fucking dork
Great Deku Tree: Oh no. That Makar is always clumsy
Link: Wow, you all are fucking useless
Great Deku Tree: Link, can you please go and save Makar
Link: Oh fine. I want to get away from you fucking idiots anyway
Link: (In Forbidden Woods) Okay, so all I got to do is travel through this dump. Where should I go...... Hmm (Takes out i Phone and looks up Legend of Zelda: Walkthrough) Ah ha. This is what I do
Link: Did it. I made it through the temple without using any hints....... Anyway, where's Makar
Makar: (With deep voice) Hey, where the fuck have you been, asshole. You better fucking rescue me
Link: ......... What kind of little kids voice is that
Makar: I'm not a little kid. I'm a goddamn midget
Link: Okay then. So, where is the temple boss
Boss: (Eats Makar) (Burps)
Link: That's the boss....... It's just a plant with a crown
Plant Boss: Ha. This isn't even my final form (Transforms into a giant plant monster) Now, prepare to di- (Link kills boss) (Makar falls out of plant)
Makar: Ah, what the fucking fuck. That was the most fucking disgusting moment of my fucking life. Goddamn cocksucker
Link: Wow, you have such a potty mouth
Makar: Oh fuck off. Just get me out of here
Great Deku Tree: Makar, your o-
Makar: Fuck you, you tree fucker
Great Deku Tree: I missed you too. And ass for you Link, I grant you this bal. Please, do grasp my ball in your hand
Link: ............................................
Great Deku Tree: That so did not come out right
Link: Yeah, I'l just go now. Bye Makar
Makar: Fuck you
TO BE CONTINUED
Unpa Lunpa doom-pa-de-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do