The Strain recap: 'One Shot' 

In my recap of last week’s episode, I applauded the absence of Zach and the return of Gus and Dutch. So naturally, this week reversed that winning equation, resulting in a subpar outing that isn’t inspiring confidence in a memorable final run.

While the Goodweather boys continue to bore, the adventures of the ultimate odd couple — Fet and Quinlan — provided the sole bright spot. “One Shot” begins with Fet hunting with his other partner: Charlotte. As they hunt in the snowy North Dakota woods, the duo spot a deer in the distance. On her first shot, Charlotte hits the target, prompting Fet and me to both say “damn” at the same time. Back at camp, the men are enjoying the results of Charlotte’s kill when Quinlan expresses frustration over the fact that the base they’re headed to isn’t on a map. “It would kind of defeat the whole secret base thing, wouldn’t it?” responds Roman. He insists the men there won’t mind letting the warhead go. “Who gives a s—?” he quips.

Back in Philly, Eph and Alex are moving forward with their new plan by cooking up some rat poison to mix into the strigoi’s blood supply. The budding relationship between these two continues to blossom as all great romances do: over a dead son and meatloaf. “That’s nice that you can remember the good times,” says Eph. “I remember the events, but the feelings… I’ve lost them.” That might be for the best.

Speaking of his human-trading, strigoi-loving son/worst person ever, Zach is feeding a rat to his snake. (He

have a pet snake — and I say that already bracing for hate mail from all the snake lovers out there.) When his new cleaning girl is harassed by his even creepier pet feeler, Zach proves what a man he is by keeping the feeler in check, but the girl rightfully scurries away. And the award for worst wingman goes to this feeler. After chasing her down in the streets and offering her some fruit, Zach continues to prove why he’s clearly a catch: “You don’t have to worry about them when you’re with me,” he says as he stands up to a strigoi, who backs off. “I do anything I want, go anywhere I want.” What a baller! He knows a place where they can go to be alone. My suggestion to this nameless girl: Run.

Fet, Quinlan, and Charlotte arrive at the base to discover dead men and strigoi, leading Fet to throw a grenade down the silo to kill any possible munchers. “Finally, some good news,” says Quinlan as he takes a look. Not so fast, sir! He’s hit with a shot from above, causing him to violently fall to the bottom. Luckily, he’s not human, so he survives. Not so luckily, he’s still being shot at. Following no verbal response from the shooter, Fet decides to go in alone. “Tunnels are my turf,” he declares. When is

While Quinlan draws out the shooter, Fet tells the man, who seems to be losing it, that his friend will kill him if he doesn’t stop. “My friend is telling the truth here,” confirms Quinlan, who distracts the shooter long enough for Fet to sneak up and take him down. But it isn’t enough for Quinlan that the man is injured; Quinlan kills him with a shot to the head. When Fet asks why, the vampire responds, “Because I said I would.” I mean, you have to admire his commitment to his word.

They aren’t able to celebrate their victory for long, considering Roman soon discovers that the nuke is missing the pit assembly, which is essential. They posit that The Master had his minions collect them to prevent their use, so they decide to go searching for a strigoi convoy they recently passed. 

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