Kristen Stewart Gets Honest About Her First Love, Bad Days and Life After Bella Swan 

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(a story about a futuristic society forced to suppress emotions for fear of death—dramatic, right?), Kristen Stewart speaks candidly on a few topics that pretty much prove she\'s just like the rest of us. 

Yes, she still has lingering feelings for her first love. (We\'ve all been there.) Yes, she has bad days. (Who doesn\'t?) And yes, three years after the

saga ended, she\'s still got mad love for Bella Swan. (SAME.) In short, a celebrity has never been more relatable. 

Below, find these excerpts from Stewart\'s chat with

On how her first love (Robert Pattinson?) inspired her character, Nia, in

"One of the reasons I was so intimidated by this movie is because I was like, \'This is gonna hurt. I don\'t want to think about all that.\' It\'s good, it\'s cathartic, it\'s worth it. I feel good now on the other side of it. But at first I was like \'Oh God.\' If we do this right it\'s so basic, it\'s so fundamental, it\'s so young. Obviously, Nick (Hoult) and I are 25. We made the movie nearly a year ago. We\'re still very close to our first loves. It\'s definitely something that we both know so well," reveals Stewart. "It was a painful movie to make in every way. It was exuberant, cathartic and at the same time almost too self-reflective. We would go home and be like, \'We seriously need a drink. Let\'s just stop thinking about everything. Let\'s not talk. Let\'s just take a walk.\'"

On how she handles waking up on the wrong side of the bed—or when it\'s

"I\'m playing somebody who is constantly stifling this thing and I can completely relate to that. Anybody who\'s had a bad day or maybe like is just PMS-ing or just feeling too much on a certain day where you have to go and show face, I\'ve had to do that a lot, an exceptional amount. I know that feeling and that is so familiar to me to feel something so hard and have to go into work and say \'Good Morning,\' and not show emotions."

"Both of them are very simple and I think that\'s why I really liked them. Both of them, you can criticize each character for being weak because they give it all up for a man. But I think that that is the most f—ing courageous thing you can do. There\'s nothing weak about being subject to something. In fact, in order to open yourself up and let all of your guards down and just give yourself to something fully, no matter what anyone else thinks, whether they think it\'s the right thing for you or not, I just love that. I just f—ing love that. That\'s so feminine. That\'s what women do. We have a faith in ourselves that is unpragmatic and in each other that\'s just emotional and f—ing strong. Both of those characters are criticized for being weak, for being subject to a man, but I think that that\'s a really bold and natural thing that we all want."

"It\'s weird. It\'s bizarre. It\'s like this whole other form of entertainment, which I get. I just wish that people saw through it a little bit more. It doesn\'t need to go away. It\'s just so ridiculously grey. I think I  can find a little bit of comfort in that and know that people know that. I think people understand that. It\'s like something bad happens to you. You do an interview that you mess up, say something stupid, say something you don\'t mean and you just think it\'s end-all because it has emotionally affected you."

"When you love something, you get to know it. Then you feel the ownership and if it changes, you only love it as far as you know it because then you\'re like, \'What is this?\' I think maybe the key to having a long relationship is really appreciating that person\'s life and not trying to own it. It\'s like just stop trying. We all do it. The thing about the end of the movie as well is it is a metaphor for ebb and flow. There are times where you\'re with someone for five years and on year three you\'re like "ehhhh." Then something can happen. Maybe you take a little space or something. All of a sudden it just floods back. To just walk away can be a scary thing. The film is open ended but with hope. If you want to keep trying, it\'s worth it."

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