as i look back on my past i realize that there r a few things i wish i could do....just one more time before i die, yet i know i will not be able to do them...
the purple X on the map shows where my families always lived. well, my second family. when i was 7 my mother and father took me there and told them 2 take care of me. they told Twiggy why and told me they loved me...4 the last time. 2 days after they were killed. they told Twiggy 2 tell me what happened when i thought i'd understand. he told me when i was 15. they knew they were gonna die...their spirit animal told them, so they brought me there so i'd be happy and with a family. none of them are really family, but yet they are. they are all out castes and have made themselves a family. they all take care of each other, and they all took care of me. i'm not worried about my mother and father dying, though. according 2 African legends every star in the sky is they eyes of your ancestors. daddy used to say that soul shine is better then sun shine or moon shine. life can take the strongest man and make him feel so alone.
my real name is Vry Gees, meaning Free Soul. i fear my children will never find this out...i was told to never speak it again. mother said that it was to honor the free waves and the soul in us all.
growing up in a bay on a beach, i learned how to surf. another thing i know i will never be able to do again unless somehow the curse doesn't take effect...i'm taking all 3 of them back 2 Africa if i do live. we will live with the rest of my family and they will never have to deal with him.
the paths are all our field trips. J-Bay is the best surf spot ever. heaven on earth for any surfer. that's the big red X with the arrows.
i've edited the map slightly since i made it all those years ago. on one of the trips 2 J-Bay i made a trip of my own. a trip i've learned to regret with almost every fiber of my being. the only good thing that has come from that trip is my children...
i was walking along a trail alone. they thought nothing of it, i'm sure. i've often been known to leave for 4-5 days and show back up. i know they thought nothing of it at 1st. nor did i, for that's what i was doing...so i thought. i was really walking straight into a cleverly placed trap...set by an even more clever poacher. that's how i see it now. back then, i thought it was the best thing in the world.
i walked into a clearing by a small lake and saw a man in a small boat. being me, i watched and....he saw me. we talked for a while. he told me he was half Indian and was from the US. he was from Kentucky and was going back tomorrow. i said i've always wanted to see the US and he said he was leaving the next day if i wanted to go with him he'd pay for the ticket. i gladly went and the blue X shows where we met.
the 1st 2 years were great. we traveled all over the US and settled back in Kentucky. we had, after all, fallen in love. or....so i thought...he started calling me Amber. he said it was because the color of my eyes were like the color of the gem...what i didn't know is that amber traps and encases bugs. just as my name tells, i was like a bug trapped in the sap of a tree. 2 months after we married, the real him shown through...and i regretted ever leaving.
i will never forget my roots, and i wish i could go back. go back and never turn back. even if he did find me in Africa, i will have my family back, and they will never let him take me back.
he can never brake my spirit, even if he can brake me. i gotta let my soul shine...my heart still lies in Africa, though i can never get it back. i wish only for one more surf, and to teach my children that the water is truly the best play ground. as long as there is an ocean or a lake or a river or a stream, there is always something to do. my heart lies in the waves just in the bay of the family i wish my children could have. it lies in J-Bay and in the trees of the forest near it. if only i knew then what i know now. somehow, i think i might have, but i was so caught up that i didn't hear it. i ignored it and i was punished for not thinking clear.
now my children will never know half of their history. they will never know the feeling of the freedom in the waves. they will never know the thrill of standing on a board, or even walking through the grasses of the plains. they will never miss the campfire stories they told, and they will not know that i will be watching them from the stars high above their heads.
i was 15 when i was brought here...and i am 34 now and know i will never be able to go back. yet i know i will go there once i am gone. at least for a while, i will be back home.
and maybe they will eventually find their way there...and they will find me there as well. maybe not physicaly, but they will know i am there. sometimes jumping in is the only way 2 get where u want to go.
the purple X on the map shows where my families always lived. well, my second family. when i was 7 my mother and father took me there and told them 2 take care of me. they told Twiggy why and told me they loved me...4 the last time. 2 days after they were killed. they told Twiggy 2 tell me what happened when i thought i'd understand. he told me when i was 15. they knew they were gonna die...their spirit animal told them, so they brought me there so i'd be happy and with a family. none of them are really family, but yet they are. they are all out castes and have made themselves a family. they all take care of each other, and they all took care of me. i'm not worried about my mother and father dying, though. according 2 African legends every star in the sky is they eyes of your ancestors. daddy used to say that soul shine is better then sun shine or moon shine. life can take the strongest man and make him feel so alone.
my real name is Vry Gees, meaning Free Soul. i fear my children will never find this out...i was told to never speak it again. mother said that it was to honor the free waves and the soul in us all.
growing up in a bay on a beach, i learned how to surf. another thing i know i will never be able to do again unless somehow the curse doesn't take effect...i'm taking all 3 of them back 2 Africa if i do live. we will live with the rest of my family and they will never have to deal with him.
the paths are all our field trips. J-Bay is the best surf spot ever. heaven on earth for any surfer. that's the big red X with the arrows.
i've edited the map slightly since i made it all those years ago. on one of the trips 2 J-Bay i made a trip of my own. a trip i've learned to regret with almost every fiber of my being. the only good thing that has come from that trip is my children...
i was walking along a trail alone. they thought nothing of it, i'm sure. i've often been known to leave for 4-5 days and show back up. i know they thought nothing of it at 1st. nor did i, for that's what i was doing...so i thought. i was really walking straight into a cleverly placed trap...set by an even more clever poacher. that's how i see it now. back then, i thought it was the best thing in the world.
i walked into a clearing by a small lake and saw a man in a small boat. being me, i watched and....he saw me. we talked for a while. he told me he was half Indian and was from the US. he was from Kentucky and was going back tomorrow. i said i've always wanted to see the US and he said he was leaving the next day if i wanted to go with him he'd pay for the ticket. i gladly went and the blue X shows where we met.
the 1st 2 years were great. we traveled all over the US and settled back in Kentucky. we had, after all, fallen in love. or....so i thought...he started calling me Amber. he said it was because the color of my eyes were like the color of the gem...what i didn't know is that amber traps and encases bugs. just as my name tells, i was like a bug trapped in the sap of a tree. 2 months after we married, the real him shown through...and i regretted ever leaving.
i will never forget my roots, and i wish i could go back. go back and never turn back. even if he did find me in Africa, i will have my family back, and they will never let him take me back.
he can never brake my spirit, even if he can brake me. i gotta let my soul shine...my heart still lies in Africa, though i can never get it back. i wish only for one more surf, and to teach my children that the water is truly the best play ground. as long as there is an ocean or a lake or a river or a stream, there is always something to do. my heart lies in the waves just in the bay of the family i wish my children could have. it lies in J-Bay and in the trees of the forest near it. if only i knew then what i know now. somehow, i think i might have, but i was so caught up that i didn't hear it. i ignored it and i was punished for not thinking clear.
now my children will never know half of their history. they will never know the feeling of the freedom in the waves. they will never know the thrill of standing on a board, or even walking through the grasses of the plains. they will never miss the campfire stories they told, and they will not know that i will be watching them from the stars high above their heads.
i was 15 when i was brought here...and i am 34 now and know i will never be able to go back. yet i know i will go there once i am gone. at least for a while, i will be back home.
and maybe they will eventually find their way there...and they will find me there as well. maybe not physicaly, but they will know i am there. sometimes jumping in is the only way 2 get where u want to go.
eyes like fire, burn my pelt.
pulse runs higher, pain i felt.
claws are red,
my friend...dead.
ear is torn,
for her, i morn.
my eye hurts,
the pain...won't stop.
my pelt throbbs,
i can't cope.
my life is fading,
my heart aches.
sudden strangth!
can't give up!
clan needs me!
for them, i'll fight!
i will not fight for me,
for i'll give in.
the pain, everywhere,
but i don't care!
pride burns in my heart,
honnor, too.
i will not show my fear,
though it nearly swallows me.
the pain in their eyes,
i forget my own.
they show no fear,
though i know they share it.
the brave cats around me,
it fills me with pride.
for i AM a true warrior,
and i do not cry.
a true warrior can cry,
but not out here.
can show no weakness,
can show no fear.
and sence i'm i true warrior,
and because i am loyal,
i will fight through this,
for no pain is worse then letting them down.
pulse runs higher, pain i felt.
claws are red,
my friend...dead.
ear is torn,
for her, i morn.
my eye hurts,
the pain...won't stop.
my pelt throbbs,
i can't cope.
my life is fading,
my heart aches.
sudden strangth!
can't give up!
clan needs me!
for them, i'll fight!
i will not fight for me,
for i'll give in.
the pain, everywhere,
but i don't care!
pride burns in my heart,
honnor, too.
i will not show my fear,
though it nearly swallows me.
the pain in their eyes,
i forget my own.
they show no fear,
though i know they share it.
the brave cats around me,
it fills me with pride.
for i AM a true warrior,
and i do not cry.
a true warrior can cry,
but not out here.
can show no weakness,
can show no fear.
and sence i'm i true warrior,
and because i am loyal,
i will fight through this,
for no pain is worse then letting them down.