Bella: I'm...pregnant?

Carlisle: Yes.

Bella: Pregnant?

Carlisle: Yes.

Bella: Seriously... pregnant?

Carlisle: Is she broken?

Alice: Bella. You are fo shiz up the spout! There's a bun in your oven! Your eggo is preggo and your little Loch Ness Monster is going to be adorable!

Edward:...Uh, Loch Ness what now?

Alice: Noooothing. You'llseewhenshepops!

Edward: Back to the point, Carlisle. How the heck can she be pregnant. My fish don't swim. I'm firing blanks! MY TESTICLES ARE FROZEN!

Carlisle: Well you see... it's because Bella is so hot-

Edward: WHAT?!

Bella: Thanks. -blushes-

Carlisle: Not attractive hot! Temperature wise!

Bella:...Oh.

Edward: I don't get it.

Carlisle: Bella's vaj thawed your peen.

Edward: You're saying cause her *love tunnel* is warm and toastie she thawed out my jizz and made my fish swim again?!

Carlisle: Yuppp. That 'bout sums it up.

Edward: No effin way.

Carlisle: I'm afraid so son. Should've wrapped your tool.

Edward: Bella, you can't keep it... I mean [Idon'twantalittlebratrunningaroundforeter­nit­y] it could be dangerous.

Alice: Oh nonsense.

Edward: No but really... it might.. eat her... womb?

Bella: I'm...pregant? *twitch*

Carlisle: Oh someone slap her already...

Alice: Noooo, you might hurt Nessie!!

Carlisle: How would bitch slapping Bella hurt a mythical monster from a Loch in Scotland?

Alice: Oh, um, SHOES! Yes.. shopping. Kthnxbai!

...It could happen.