when we move on from this?

I don't care how much you love someone you don't take away their free will, wether you agree or not, wether their decisions are stupid or not they still have a right to make their own choices. Elena wanted Stefan to save Matt first, maybe she thought he was more badly hurt, maybe they both thought he had enough time to come back for her, we have no idea why she told him to take Matt first. And I'm pretty sure that Stefan probably hates himself more than anyone else could.

I agree with D_J267 if its that person's choice, you cant take that away from someone, if you truly loved someone who wouldnt ignore their wishes...and Elena, she always driven by her morales of family and friends, wanting to protect Matt, he was unconscious who knows how serious his wounds were? who knows?...but stefan respect her wishes, cuz he cares and respects elena and her choices

I know that when you love someone you'll do anything for them to be ok.
And when you love someone you can be a little selfish and yet too selfless even if it means she'll hate you forever. (If she loves you trully, she'll forgive you no matter what).
It's what Damon said to Stefan in S2 : You just wish you had the balls to do it yourself.
Stefan is gonna regret it that much that would hurt!

I would save the person I love first. but I would try my best to save them both.

I agree with what d_J267 and Faith Rulz said and no matter if Stefan saved her first she was going to die anyways so this is kinda of a moot point and can we stop turning this into a Damon vs Stefan thing. Damon would have the same issue fighting with her in choosing Matt first it wasn't about Elena choosing to die it was she did not want to loose anyone else she cared about she has already lost so many people and if Elena didn't have the brain hemerage she would have lasted longer underneath the water and we can sit here and judge all we want unless you are in that situation you can't really judge how you are going to handle it

If Stefan would have saved her then she would hate him now. But he did what she asked, gave her what she needed. That is why I love Stefan. He is never selfish with her.

Look DE fans, you would say the same if it was Damon instead of Stefan, so... I'm really proud of Stefan, he knew there's a possibility Elena will die, but he wanted to make her "last" wish come true. That's real love. <3

The fact why I'm pissed every time I think about this scene is the fact it was totally unrealistic. For me personally it's one of the biggest nonsense I've seen on tv. It's not about DE, or SE, or the way we are told by the writers how magically Stefan is fine with whartever Elena wants. It just doesn't work this way.
Come on. If I saw my husband drwoning the last thing I'd care about was him pointing whoever - I'd do anything to save him. Let's call it selfish, unrespectful or whatever. But it's what human do. Period.

^ Completely agree with you

Umm.. There's this thing called free will. Free to make your own decisions. Stefan would never take away Elena's right of that. And I know you, especially Delena fans, can go on and on about how it proves that Stefan doesn't love her as much as Damon does, sure, go ahead. But Stelena has always been about trusting one another, even if their life was in danger. And how about that sentence that says that you love someone enough to let them go?
I think that scene was one of the best and the most heartbreaking for Stelena. He knew she would never, ever let him take her instead of Matt, so he made a choice. The choice she wanted. And that's how it'll always be. You can look at it any way you want, but.. DE fans, if you don't even like Stelena, then why do you have to overanalyse this? Everyone can, and will, look at the situation as they saw it. So why drag it along? Of course Delena fans will think Stefan didn't do the right thing and blah blah blah, and Stelena fans will think the opposite. That's the way it is.
Let's just move on already. Please!

lol seems somebody is eager for starting another shipper wars? Just to be fair. some Stelena fans always disparage Damon as if he done nothing right and is horrible beyond saving. And some Delena fans say the same for Stefan. lol it is a 50 and 50 split.

Seriously?
This is stupid there is no point because in another scenario if Stefan let Matt die , you guys will be using another argument just to bash Stefan

^ Excuse me, but as far as I can see, no one has said one bad word about Stefan here (unless you count saying he'll regret his actions...which is not being insulting, it's just stating a fact.)

I'm not putting Stefan down for the choice he made. It was a difficult situation and he did the best he could and I get that. I just know that if I was in the same place and was watching the love of my life die before my eyes, I would do everything possible to save him and nothing could stop me from that. Shoot, Even Paul Wesley had problems when he read the script and saw what Stefan was going to do. It just goes against every instinct a person has.

This isn't about free will. If we're going to go there, what about Stefan's free will? Did Elena respect that when she demanded that he rescue Matt instead? Did she stop to think how it would destroy him if he had to live with knowing he let her die? Of course not, because it was an emergency and she was panicking and acting only on instinct, just as anyone else in that situation would do. Just as Stefan should have done. I don't care who you are, can you honestly say that you would have a clear enough mind in that situation to risk letting the person you love most in the entire world die simply because she was pointing for you to save someone else instead? Call me selfish or cruel or whatever you want, but there's no way I could leave the love of my life in a lethal situation just because he wanted me to go do something else before saving him. It wouldn't even register in my brain. All I'd be able to focus on is rescuing him.

It's not bashing Stefan to say I disagree with his actions. I still love him as a character (though I like him most when he's far away from Elena), I'm just saying I would have chosen differently, and I think most people would have as well. It's just instinctual.

It's not about DE, or SE
Thank you! Finally somebody said that!

And also every single word xElevenPiratex said above me, but especially this:
I still love him as a character (though I like him most when he's far away from Elena), I'm just saying I would have chosen differently, and I think most people would have as well. It's just instinctual.
Couldn't have said it better myself. It's easy to say that you'd respect their free will until you haven't been in a similar situation, but it's a whole different story when you have to put that in action.
You know... it's easier said than done.

The problem with that scene is the way the writers wrote it. They didn't write it the way it should have been, in real life someone in that situation would have acted impulsively, and Stefan was way too rational, too in character so it wasn't very realistic. There's two things the writers established about Stefan and unfortunatly they fallowed those things too faithfully. First : Stefan loves Damon the most. Second: Stefan can't handle Elena hating him. That's why when Damon was dying he didn't let him commit suicide he couldn't respect his wish, so he threw him in the dungeon and did every thing he could to save him. But when Elena wanted to sacrifice herself he didn't do anything to stop her, even though he hated her decision, he respected her choice. Even Elena and Damon comment on it! So while I agree that I personally would have saved my lover I can't blame Stefan for being written too much in character. What I find stupid though is why the hell couldn't Stefan save both of them! I mean he is a f*cking vampire he's strong enough to pull them both at the same time out of the car and swim back to the bridge, isn't he?