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"What was it – Our Town. Yeah, you were good, it was cute."
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"Our money. You think credit card fraud is easy?"
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"Well, your alarm’s about as useful as boobs on a man."
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"She's a Sagittarius. She loves tequila. Oh, and she’s got this little-"
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"Dude, I’m a professional. I’m offended that you think that. All right, yeah.
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"I treat you like luggage? What, were you bitchin’ about me to some chick?"
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"...something going on." "Tell me about it. She wasn’t even that into me."
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"I'm gonna watch Meg" "(laughing) Yeah you are"
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"Why don’t you go knock on her door and, uh, invite her to a poetry reading."
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"Give me some credit. You don’t got a corner on paper chasin’ around here."
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"Bite me." "No, bite her. Don’t leave teeth marks, though—"
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"Dean, we are a family. But things will never be the way they were."
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"Hey, Sam? Don’t take this the wrong way, but your girlfriend...is a bitch."
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"Baby, I’ve killed a lot more for a lot less."
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"Oh, I am so not going in there." "Wusses."
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"Sorry. Not a lot of scenery here in east Texas, you gotta make your own."
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"All right. Just remember, you started it." "Oh, bring it on, Baldy."
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"I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but the cops might be right.
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"I’m sorry. That pot we smoked gave me the giggles. Woo!"
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"That’s all you got? That’s weak. That is Bush-league."
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"Hey, Sam, I dare you to take a swig of this." "Why would I do that?"
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"Ugh, I hate rats." "You'd rather it was a ghost?" "Yes."
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"Sweet Lord of the Rings—run!"
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"People believe in Santa. How come I’m not gettin’ hooked up at Christmas?"
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"You did this? (Dean laughs again.) You’re a friggin’ jerk."
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"What would Buffy do? I don't know, but, Ed, she’s stronger than me."
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"Oh, look at that. Action figures in their original packaging. What a shocker."
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"If you pull that string one more time, I’m gonna kill you."
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"You didn’t." (Sam holds up a bottle of superglue.) "Oh, I did."
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"The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you!"
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"It’s a little lingo for ya. Any who, excuse us, we’re off to La-La Land."
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"Well, because I’m the oldest, which means I’m always right."
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"Dude, I'm not using this ID" "Why not?" "Because it says “bikini inspector”
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"Don’t worry, she won’t look close. Hell, she won’t even ask to see it"
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"Lock the doors, windows, shades, and most important—" "Watch out for Sammy"
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"King or two queens?" "Two queens." (under his breath) "Yeah, I bet."
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"Do you want the prize?"
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"I almost smoked that old gal, I swear. It’s not funny."
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"Yeah, first of all, I’m not gonna open fire in a freakin’ pediatrics ward."
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"But I know why you do it." "Oh God, kill me now."
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"If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too."
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"Perfect. Oh, is that Brandy with a “y” or an “i”?"
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"So, what are we today, Dean? Are we rock stars? Are we army rangers?"
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"Can we get you some more mini-quiche?"
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"And I think it’s time to leave." "Well we don't have to be told twice."
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"What was it, the providence?" "Provenance." (Dean tries to pronounce it.)
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"It’s true. I was an artist—a terrible, terrible artist."
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"Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious."
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"He’s handin’ out Columbian neckties like he did with his family?"
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"Sarah. Good, good, yeah, um, what about you? Yeah, good, good, really good."
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"You’re joking. (pause) You’re not joking. God, the guys I go out with."
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"Sam? (Sam turns to look at him.) Marry that girl."
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"So, this is what you guys do for a living?" "Not exactly. We don't get paid."
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"How'd he even get in the door?" "Lying and subterfuge, mostly."
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"You’re not delusional." "But, there’s a “but” coming."
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"I can’t go through it again. I can’t." "Am I interrupting something?"
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"No." "Not at all." "Apparently."
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"There are bones to burn." "Tell me you know where." (DEAN smiles.)
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"You guys seem to be uncomfortably comfortable with this."
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"You’ve been a real pain in the ass, Isaiah. (Lights a match.) Good riddance."
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"What kind of house doesn’t have salt? Low-sodium freaks."
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