((What happens when you mix the Potter/Weasley clan with Snape's Family and Friends, throw in a some Jalbus fluff and put them all in Snape's dungeon? Pure insanity.
WARNING: Reading this fic may cause breathing problems, unexplained pains in your sides, bladder problems, and watery eyes. If any or all of these things occur, see your Potions master immediately.))
I strode into Potions grinning broadly. ((Quick note, this is after "Jalbus," obviously. You may want to read that first.)) It probably was because I was with my boyfriend, Albus S. Potter, son of my childhood hero. Talk about irony.
I hefted the heavy book in my hand. Al and I spent hours cuddled up in the common room, reading. I had finally managed to get him to read the Harry Potter books with me. Life was pretty good.
As soon as we took our seats, James took the opportunity to tease us. Not for the first time, I wondered why he had to inherit BOTH of his namesakes' humor.
"Ignore him," Al whispered in my ear.
"That's kind of hard to do when he starts singing," I replied, flipping open the book. True enough, James had started singing.
"Al and Jo, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"What's so wrong with that?" asked Sierra rather dreamily. I had to think of a witty response, and quick.
"'It's more of the fact that he exists,'" I quoted, nonchalantly turning the page of my book.
"You really can't stop quoting, can you?" Ruby asked, glaring at me from over her cauldron. She was remarkably blunt for a Hufflepuff.
"And you're a toaster."
"Toaster?" Al was confused. I was about to explain when Snape started the class.
"Settle down, settle down. This means you, Mr. Potter." He glared at James.
"You know, that could mean either me OR Al," James retorted.
"Detention, Potter."
I smiled. "Something tells me your dad's going to hear this story."
"Well, you DO make a very fascinating story," Al replied.
"Fascinating enough for seven books?"
"And eight movies." I grinned.
"Well, I AM the Gryffindor Seeker. I'm just wondering. Why didn't YOU try for Seeker?" I asked, suddenly curious.
"It's nothing," Al answered, flipping through his Potions book.
"If it really was nothing, you would have told me already," I countered. I knew he hated when I used that on him.
"Open your books to page three hundred and ninety-four." 394? Was the book even that long? My head started spinning. This place was more insane than a Muggle high school.
Making any kind of potion while distracted by your boyfriend, his brother and cousins, your nutty friends, and the batlike teacher is NOT a good idea. That was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. To this day, I still don't understand how so many disgusting things were violently thrown out of my cauldron. Here's how it went down.
First, somewhere in the midst of preparing my ingredients, I crushed what should have been skinned, skinned what should have been cut, and cut what should have been crushed. All thanks to the sight of Al's profile.
Then I stirred instead of stewed. That mistake was caused by the frog brain James thought would be funny to launch at me. It took all of my self-control not to jinx him into jelly.
THEN, Ruby and Sierra started betting on our relationship. That caused me to heat the potion too much, which burned the bottom of my cauldron and sent my potion onto the ceiling in a very spectacular fireworks display.
As expected, I got a month of detentions for that stunt from the bat, had to buy a new cauldron (stupid me didn't buy a thicker-bottomed British one), and spent WEEKS trying to wash the frog brains out of my hair. Sierra and Ruby are still betting, but I've learned to ignore them. There are some fights a Gryffindor can avoid.
Al, on the other hand, wrote his parents about the entire incident. This meant we were treated to a lengthy reminisce by Mr. Potter about his own days at Hogwarts. As theletter said, with a Potter at Hogwarts, there will never be any such thing as a normal year. At least we didn't haave to knock out a troll in a girl's bathroom.
WARNING: Reading this fic may cause breathing problems, unexplained pains in your sides, bladder problems, and watery eyes. If any or all of these things occur, see your Potions master immediately.))
I strode into Potions grinning broadly. ((Quick note, this is after "Jalbus," obviously. You may want to read that first.)) It probably was because I was with my boyfriend, Albus S. Potter, son of my childhood hero. Talk about irony.
I hefted the heavy book in my hand. Al and I spent hours cuddled up in the common room, reading. I had finally managed to get him to read the Harry Potter books with me. Life was pretty good.
As soon as we took our seats, James took the opportunity to tease us. Not for the first time, I wondered why he had to inherit BOTH of his namesakes' humor.
"Ignore him," Al whispered in my ear.
"That's kind of hard to do when he starts singing," I replied, flipping open the book. True enough, James had started singing.
"Al and Jo, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"What's so wrong with that?" asked Sierra rather dreamily. I had to think of a witty response, and quick.
"'It's more of the fact that he exists,'" I quoted, nonchalantly turning the page of my book.
"You really can't stop quoting, can you?" Ruby asked, glaring at me from over her cauldron. She was remarkably blunt for a Hufflepuff.
"And you're a toaster."
"Toaster?" Al was confused. I was about to explain when Snape started the class.
"Settle down, settle down. This means you, Mr. Potter." He glared at James.
"You know, that could mean either me OR Al," James retorted.
"Detention, Potter."
I smiled. "Something tells me your dad's going to hear this story."
"Well, you DO make a very fascinating story," Al replied.
"Fascinating enough for seven books?"
"And eight movies." I grinned.
"Well, I AM the Gryffindor Seeker. I'm just wondering. Why didn't YOU try for Seeker?" I asked, suddenly curious.
"It's nothing," Al answered, flipping through his Potions book.
"If it really was nothing, you would have told me already," I countered. I knew he hated when I used that on him.
"Open your books to page three hundred and ninety-four." 394? Was the book even that long? My head started spinning. This place was more insane than a Muggle high school.
Making any kind of potion while distracted by your boyfriend, his brother and cousins, your nutty friends, and the batlike teacher is NOT a good idea. That was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. To this day, I still don't understand how so many disgusting things were violently thrown out of my cauldron. Here's how it went down.
First, somewhere in the midst of preparing my ingredients, I crushed what should have been skinned, skinned what should have been cut, and cut what should have been crushed. All thanks to the sight of Al's profile.
Then I stirred instead of stewed. That mistake was caused by the frog brain James thought would be funny to launch at me. It took all of my self-control not to jinx him into jelly.
THEN, Ruby and Sierra started betting on our relationship. That caused me to heat the potion too much, which burned the bottom of my cauldron and sent my potion onto the ceiling in a very spectacular fireworks display.
As expected, I got a month of detentions for that stunt from the bat, had to buy a new cauldron (stupid me didn't buy a thicker-bottomed British one), and spent WEEKS trying to wash the frog brains out of my hair. Sierra and Ruby are still betting, but I've learned to ignore them. There are some fights a Gryffindor can avoid.
Al, on the other hand, wrote his parents about the entire incident. This meant we were treated to a lengthy reminisce by Mr. Potter about his own days at Hogwarts. As theletter said, with a Potter at Hogwarts, there will never be any such thing as a normal year. At least we didn't haave to knock out a troll in a girl's bathroom.
I've compiled a list of all of the names we've created (so far). I'll add to it as we come up with new ideas.
> Perry/Nathaniel = Perennial
> Jo/Alec = Jolec
> Kaitlyn/James = Jaitlyn Marpotter
> Priya/Jericho = Jeya/Pericho/Pericha? (we're still working on that one at the moment)
> Primrose/Louis = Precious
> Primrose/Hugo = Prugo
> Primrose/James = Pames
> Emma/Stephen = Stepha
If you guys decide to change any on the names, let me know in the "Comments" section. And if you haven't figured out what to use for your ship, keep working on it!
> Perry/Nathaniel = Perennial
> Jo/Alec = Jolec
> Kaitlyn/James = Jaitlyn Marpotter
> Priya/Jericho = Jeya/Pericho/Pericha? (we're still working on that one at the moment)
> Primrose/Louis = Precious
> Primrose/Hugo = Prugo
> Primrose/James = Pames
> Emma/Stephen = Stepha
If you guys decide to change any on the names, let me know in the "Comments" section. And if you haven't figured out what to use for your ship, keep working on it!