I was really not looking forward to this game. Drake of the 99 Dragons is infamous for being a broken, buggy, glitchy mess… more so than the games I’ve played thus far. It was a game that was heavily advertised when it came out, having boasted about having the team that worked on Batman: The Animated series. Published by Majesco and developed by Idol FX, Drake of the 99 Dragons was meant to be the start of a massive franchise, with Drake of the 99 Dragons getting a comic book franchise and even an animated TV show. But due to the game being Drake of the 99 Dragons, it was dead on arrival. And really, how could a game like this possibly fail… let’s find out.
I will say, the visuals start out alright. The logo is pretty crisp. I heard people say that the Majesco logo was unbearable to look at, but that must’ve been on the original Xbox. I’m playing this backwards compatible on the 360. Yes, of all the game to make compatible for 360, Drake of the 99 Dragons was one of the. I will say, the visuals are a bit neat. It’s got that classic graphic art style with the sharp edges and black shading. It’s not too bad. But that’s where the compliments stop. We meet Drake, this pale faced man waving guns around trying way too hard to sound cool, even though his mouth hangs open like a baby. The tutorial has this really janking jump on it. It feels disgusting and I hate it. So after the tutorial, I get attacked by a cyborg that almost kills me. This is the first enemy in the game and they are really showing you how much this game will make you struggle. Not only with this difficult enemy, but also with trying to control the camera. Jumping isn’t only stiff, but the camera will become unresponsive and hard to control just by jumping ever so slightly. So yeah, this counts as a duo boss fight in my opinion. Anyway, you beat the cyborg and complete the mission. After more exposition, a ghost flies by with an artifact and you have to stop it. And now the game becomes an even bigger pain in the ass. First thing: Don’t use the machine guns. The machine guns fucking suck. Second: This game is made even more difficult thanks to the bad design. Enemies are always hanging out around you with guns, firing at you from all directions endlessly. You gotta be hammering the fire button repeatedly. You could hold it in if you had the machine guns, but refer to step one. So handguns it is. And even then, you will barely make it passed, especially when you get attacked by an enemy clipping through the ceiling with a machine gun, using the same scream that you’d hear in Crazy Taxi. And every time you die, you get to see the cutscene again. So with enough patience, I beat the level and apparently, Drake died between cutscenes. And we get to the next level, and…. Oh dear god.
So here you unlock the ability to run up walls, a skill that is so broken and janky that it takes the premise of wall running and makes it a chore. If you thought Drake was a pain to control before with his flailing arms and broken camera, get ready for this shit. This will make you feel really desensitized. But it gets even worse. You are tasked with collecting Spirit Orbs or something, thirty to be exact, in the dojo. When you collect enough of them, you can unlock the ability to slow down time. Sounds fun, if not for the fact that it slows you down too. All you are doing is making the agony last longer. This doesn’t help you in anyway, it just makes things harder. And then I end up running into a room with enemies that gun me down in seconds and I die…. Yeah, I know there is more to this game, and I hear that the glitches get really bad and all, but I don’t want to play anymore of this game. This game truly has made me the most frustrated. I am aware there is more to say about this game, but I refuse to play anymore.
Drake of the 99 Dragons is the worst game I have ever played. Yes, compared to everything else we’ve seen thus far, I genuinely think Drake of the 99 Dragons trumps them all. Can the last two games beat Drake? I don’t know. But Drake of the 99 Dragons is the most broken, nonfunctioning game I have ever played. And also, yes, this game was made around the time of the Matrix. Slow time, wall running, guys in leather coats with guns. Speaking of the Matrix, a game came out called Matrix: The Path of Neo. It was pretty fun, as far as I can remember. Just go play that instead. Or if you want a game with good time elements, play Blinx: The Time Sweeper. For god’s sake, please, please, please, play anything else but Drake of the 99 Dragons.
I will say, the visuals start out alright. The logo is pretty crisp. I heard people say that the Majesco logo was unbearable to look at, but that must’ve been on the original Xbox. I’m playing this backwards compatible on the 360. Yes, of all the game to make compatible for 360, Drake of the 99 Dragons was one of the. I will say, the visuals are a bit neat. It’s got that classic graphic art style with the sharp edges and black shading. It’s not too bad. But that’s where the compliments stop. We meet Drake, this pale faced man waving guns around trying way too hard to sound cool, even though his mouth hangs open like a baby. The tutorial has this really janking jump on it. It feels disgusting and I hate it. So after the tutorial, I get attacked by a cyborg that almost kills me. This is the first enemy in the game and they are really showing you how much this game will make you struggle. Not only with this difficult enemy, but also with trying to control the camera. Jumping isn’t only stiff, but the camera will become unresponsive and hard to control just by jumping ever so slightly. So yeah, this counts as a duo boss fight in my opinion. Anyway, you beat the cyborg and complete the mission. After more exposition, a ghost flies by with an artifact and you have to stop it. And now the game becomes an even bigger pain in the ass. First thing: Don’t use the machine guns. The machine guns fucking suck. Second: This game is made even more difficult thanks to the bad design. Enemies are always hanging out around you with guns, firing at you from all directions endlessly. You gotta be hammering the fire button repeatedly. You could hold it in if you had the machine guns, but refer to step one. So handguns it is. And even then, you will barely make it passed, especially when you get attacked by an enemy clipping through the ceiling with a machine gun, using the same scream that you’d hear in Crazy Taxi. And every time you die, you get to see the cutscene again. So with enough patience, I beat the level and apparently, Drake died between cutscenes. And we get to the next level, and…. Oh dear god.
So here you unlock the ability to run up walls, a skill that is so broken and janky that it takes the premise of wall running and makes it a chore. If you thought Drake was a pain to control before with his flailing arms and broken camera, get ready for this shit. This will make you feel really desensitized. But it gets even worse. You are tasked with collecting Spirit Orbs or something, thirty to be exact, in the dojo. When you collect enough of them, you can unlock the ability to slow down time. Sounds fun, if not for the fact that it slows you down too. All you are doing is making the agony last longer. This doesn’t help you in anyway, it just makes things harder. And then I end up running into a room with enemies that gun me down in seconds and I die…. Yeah, I know there is more to this game, and I hear that the glitches get really bad and all, but I don’t want to play anymore of this game. This game truly has made me the most frustrated. I am aware there is more to say about this game, but I refuse to play anymore.
Drake of the 99 Dragons is the worst game I have ever played. Yes, compared to everything else we’ve seen thus far, I genuinely think Drake of the 99 Dragons trumps them all. Can the last two games beat Drake? I don’t know. But Drake of the 99 Dragons is the most broken, nonfunctioning game I have ever played. And also, yes, this game was made around the time of the Matrix. Slow time, wall running, guys in leather coats with guns. Speaking of the Matrix, a game came out called Matrix: The Path of Neo. It was pretty fun, as far as I can remember. Just go play that instead. Or if you want a game with good time elements, play Blinx: The Time Sweeper. For god’s sake, please, please, please, play anything else but Drake of the 99 Dragons.