How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the queen of sarcasm, you don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"
My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"
My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"
What's an appropriate site for a 13 year old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"
Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"
Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"
I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"
Why are babies ugly at first?
"How about you stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how YOU look."
How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."
Is is normal to be in love with your dog?
"... You need help"
Do you cats know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"
Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"
Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously you never seen Alpha and Omega"
What happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"
How do I test if my turtle is gay?
"you show it your penis, and see if it stares for more than 20 seconds"
Are there autographs of Jesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"
How does sex start?
"With human contact!"
How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"
How do I ask a question on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"
How do you tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"
Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"
Why is canada a safe country?
"Cause the mighty king Goose gives us food to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my turtle against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"
Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this year for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"
I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"
What another word for being wrong?
"Women"
Is it wrong too join a certain race?
"Not if you ask the guys dressed as ghosts"
Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"
What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"
How do you hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"
How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."
How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."
How do you join Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"
"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."
What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."
Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."
Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."
"I'm the queen of sarcasm, you don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"
My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"
My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"
What's an appropriate site for a 13 year old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"
Can you get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"
Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"
I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"
Why are babies ugly at first?
"How about you stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how YOU look."
How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."
Is is normal to be in love with your dog?
"... You need help"
Do you cats know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"
Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"
Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously you never seen Alpha and Omega"
What happens if you paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"
How do I test if my turtle is gay?
"you show it your penis, and see if it stares for more than 20 seconds"
Are there autographs of Jesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"
How does sex start?
"With human contact!"
How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"
How do I ask a question on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"
How do you tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"
Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"
Why is canada a safe country?
"Cause the mighty king Goose gives us food to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my turtle against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"
Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this year for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"
I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"
What another word for being wrong?
"Women"
Is it wrong too join a certain race?
"Not if you ask the guys dressed as ghosts"
Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"
What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"
How do you hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"
How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."
How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."
How do you join Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"
"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."
What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."
Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."
Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."
I've been meaning to do this for a while. This is a countdown, meaning that number one is the best. Also, this is just my personal opinion so keep your rude comments to yourself. I hope you like it and please tell me what you think.
1-Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are bitter but the fruit is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are bitter but the fruit is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
When a guy flirts with other women.while out with his girl, it. may be he is just trying to be funny and charming or seem polite. Or he may secretly be feeling insecure. Maybe he fears his gal is still.into her ex, or worries she may be seeing simeone else besides him. He wont come out and say his fears, so rather he tries to appear more of a stud flirting with ladies. What he may not realize is this drives a gal away and makes her feel unimportant. How would a guy like it if a gal behaved that way toward him? Does anyone have any suggestions how to deal with this obnoxious male behavior? Does a gal call him out on it? Or simply walk away, as I did from a guy I loved a lot, and not call him out on it, just simply tell him, "You hurt me."?
note:this spell can be casted any time,any day.
okay,step one;light the candle and hold it in your left hand.
step2;put a little honey in your mouth(don't swallow)get a pitch of honey on the object,hold the object in your right hand,close your eyes and chant"i call upon the the dark god of magick to protect me from all negative energies and forces that may come my way,may this be my magic wand to make my wish come true so mote it be.
open your eyes,put the wand in the candle fire, let it burn for a minute then after that use the honey to quench fire,BING BANG BOOM! it's done!have fun.
Once there was a ghost named Specter and he was very lonely.He had no friends or anymore family members.
He was really upset.So one day he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they said goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The next day Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset or lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End
He was really upset.So one day he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they said goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The next day Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset or lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End