Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope you like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when you heard someone talking on the intercom, you fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give you a ride home and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a mushroom and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away you screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my hamster and said "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and said 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS CHOCOLATE RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a squirrel in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS YOU SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick wall screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my kitchen and begged it to tell you the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and you fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and said "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove you home last night you were in the back seat pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced you to bite your own nose and you spent an hour rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a tree and said "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a kitchen knife had Kelley throw fruit at you and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE FRUIT NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a pillow and started singing 'IT'S A PILLOW IT'S A PET ITS A PILLOW PET!!!'"
"You preached at a Barbie dolls wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when you hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on top of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
You put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T YOU FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new apple IPhone in the blender because you wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove you home you yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when you saw the tree air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and you hid under a table screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff singing 'I'm on the edge of glory'"
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when you heard someone talking on the intercom, you fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give you a ride home and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a mushroom and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples and yelling, " SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!!!'"
"You were screaming into my closet "WHERE IS NARNIA?!?'"
"You walked up to a semi- truck and whispered 'I know your secret..... Optimus Prime'"
"You were splashing around in the sink screaming "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming'"
"You were in my pool screaming "WHERE IS NEMO?!?!'"
"You saw a midget, and tried to give him a sock. When he ran away you screamed "DOBBY!! STOP! I AM YOUR SAVIOR!!' and ran after him"
"You picked up my hamster and said "I choose you! Go pikachu!'"
"You were trying to swim in mud and said 'IM IN WILLY WONKAS CHOCOLATE RIVER!!!'"
"You spent 2 hours trying to drown my goldfish"
"You kept shouting 'NEVER!!' at my sisters Justin Beiber posters"
"You asked my mom is she was a virgin"
"You pushed your girlfriend into my pool and shouted "BE FREE ARIEL!!!'"
"You tried to throw a squirrel in my pool and shouted "BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS YOU SANDY!!'"
"You kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa"
"You ran into a brick wall screaming "HOGWARTS HERE I COME!!'"
"You grabbed a sponge from my kitchen and begged it to tell you the krabby patty secret formula"
"It was raining and you fell in a puddle and screamed "HELP IM DROWNING!!'"
"You held my cat in the air saying 'Simba!!'"
"You hugged an old man and said "Dumbledore! You're alive!'"
"When I drove you home last night you were in the back seat pretending to steer with a paper plate"
"At a point I convinced you to bite your own nose and you spent an hour rolling around on the floor screaming 'IT'S GETTING AWAY!!!'"
"You ran up to a tree and said "LOOK HOW BIG THIS PIECE OF BROCOLI IS!!!'"
"You took out a kitchen knife had Kelley throw fruit at you and yelled 'I AM THE ULTIMATE FRUIT NINJA!!'"
"You took my cat put it in a pillow and started singing 'IT'S A PILLOW IT'S A PET ITS A PILLOW PET!!!'"
"You preached at a Barbie dolls wedding"
"You congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story"
"You were telling yo' mama jokes to orphans"
"You were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when you hung up"
"You got my parents replica of the efile tower stood on top of it and screamed 'I AM KING KONG!!!!'"
You put your phone on airplane mode and kept throwing it up into the air screaming "WHY WON'T YOU FLY?!?!'"
"You put your new apple IPhone in the blender because you wanted a smoothie"
"You got in a fist fight with Amy about her being on Team Jacob and then showed us your copies of the twilight books"
"When I drove you home you yelled 'SWERVE SWERVE!!" when you saw the tree air freshner"
"You saw my sisters 1D poster and screamed 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!'"
"You picked up a ginger kid and yelled 'ELMO WHERE IS YOUR GOLDFISH?!?!'"
"Your cell phone vibrated and you hid under a table screaming 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'"
"You glued a pop tart to my cat and threw it out of a window screaming 'NYAN CAT FLY!!!!'"
"You covered yourself in glitter and screamed 'I AM EDWARD CULLEN'!"
"You took my hat and muttered 'Not Slytherin'"
"You picked up a little Hispanic girl and yelled 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!!' and the party was at your house"
"You jumped off the counter screaming 'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!'"
"You stood on the edge of a cliff singing 'I'm on the edge of glory'"
It was the year 2009, a young couple of nobodies arrived on the scene and one of those nobodies was a man by the name of Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino. I knew when I first saw him that I WASN'T gonna like him and sure enough I didn't. He had a bad reputation from the moment they showed him and it just kept getting worse. Not only that but he's a selfish, self-centered, ego driven guy that cares to much about his abs then he does people. When he signed up for Dancing with the stars It made me hate him even more because he cared too much about his show to even get in a day of training done. To add even more fuel to the fire he SHOULD of been sent home first but u people saved him for basically no reason whatsoever.