NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
1.Allen walker (d grey man)
2.Gaara (naruto/shippuden
3.Hatsuharu sohma (fruits basket)
4.Deidara (naruto shippuden)
5.Senri shiki (vampire knight)
6.Tsubasa otori (beyblade/metal masters)
7.Toushiro hitsugaya (bleach the movie)
8.Neji hyuga (naruto/shippuden)
9.Mystel (beyblade g revolution)
10.zelgardis breywords (the slayers)
11.hikaru (ouran highschool host club)
12.china (hetalia) (i think?)
13.hanabusa (vampire knight)
14.takama ichijo (vampire knight)
15.zaku (naruto) (deceased aka dead)
10. Sing “Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
6. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
5.Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween
4. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
6. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
5.Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween
4. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.