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You like my story!??!?!?!??!

This is how I ship my-self with Mello so if that much turns you off then don't read it XD

It was like when he was joining the Mafia we'd been there for about a month and one day, I told the guys to clean up (since I'm a girl and don't like mess). And there were like "What did you say?" So i told them i was tired of cleaning up after them all the time. So the leader was all like "I'd like to hear you say that again," and kept coming closer to me till I was backed up on a wall. Then I was just standing there too scared to say anything, so he put his hand under my chin to force me to look at him and was like "What's wrong? Cat gotcher tongue." and he dragged me into the next room and pushed me on the bed and tried to rape me. So Mello heard me fighting and heard bumping sounds (which was me kicking and him falling off of me) so he ran into the room and fought them off for me and told them "leave her alone if you want some so bad go out and buy it or he'd kill all of them" so he grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me to his room and threw me at the wall grabbed my shoulders and was like "What's wrong with you?! How could you let that happen?!" and I started to cry I was so scared. I more afraid of him being mad at me than being raped. So I said "I'm sorry, I was trying to fight them off but there were too many." and I looked up, and his eyes got softer. We were just staring at each other for a while then he kissed the tears away from my face one at a time. Then I put my hands on the back of his neck and kissed him and we both slid down to the floor.And after we realized what we were doing we stopped and just stood there for a while looking at each other then he got up and went to the bathroom surprised at what he did. I waited for him to come out but he didn't so I went to his bed and fell asleep.

All done.
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*myself *. *We'd *they *I *I *against a wall *, *got your tongue that's some. XD
wantadog posted over a year ago
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Thank you. XD
amzel posted over a year ago
 amzel posted over a year ago
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trainofdoom82 said:
This is fucking terrible

Just saying.

Self inserts are bad enough, but I'm not judging the writing based on the pairing, the style, tone, dialogue, grammar is just terrible.

No. Just no.


You need to try harder.
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posted over a year ago 
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Agreed
dragonchick posted over a year ago
xFluttershyx said:
:)
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:)
posted over a year ago 
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Did you read it?
amzel posted over a year ago
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No.
xFluttershyx posted over a year ago
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Omg XD
amzel posted over a year ago
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XD
xFluttershyx posted over a year ago
mmmpienomnomnom said:
too many words, aru! DX
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posted over a year ago 
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Noooooooooooooooo please it's good! People who read it said so!
amzel posted over a year ago
Panda-Hero said:
I already told you, it'rs pretty sweet.
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posted over a year ago 
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and I mean sweet as in awww
Panda-Hero posted over a year ago
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See you like it! They refuse to read it! I typed it all up and no one wants to read it!
amzel posted over a year ago
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Well,you can't FORCE them to read it.Anyway,I think it's alright.Just improve the grammar a bit.:)
90sfan posted over a year ago
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^She wasn't forcing, she was asking. Forcing would be 'READ THIS OR I KILL MY SISTER'
Panda-Hero posted over a year ago
emimc said:
Awwwwwww, so sweet. Luv da story!
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posted over a year ago 
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Yay. Thank you :D
amzel posted over a year ago
wantadog said:
That's kinda cool. I'm not much of a DN fan though...
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posted over a year ago 
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Thank you And what no grammar naziism(s) XD
amzel posted over a year ago
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lol if you want XD
wantadog posted over a year ago
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Take it away! I know one thing though, almoth all those sentences started with "and".
amzel posted over a year ago
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Lol I usually discount that one
wantadog posted over a year ago
TotalDramaDoll6 said:
u should do a part 2! exept no rape. i personaly think it would be better without rape. but its sweet how he rescued u :D
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posted over a year ago 
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XD No rape! You make it sould funny. And thanks.!
amzel posted over a year ago
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thx :)
TotalDramaDoll6 posted over a year ago
XxKeithHarkinxX said:
TL;DR

._.
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posted over a year ago 
egyptprincess7 said:
*Blinks* It's okay.
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posted over a year ago 
hgfan5602 said:
Rape's not for me.
Besides, you should post your stuff on True Writers.
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posted over a year ago 
BlindBandit92 said:
Um yeah I am not gonna read a story based on you shipping yourself with Mello. Yeah no.
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posted over a year ago 
ScaryCatfish said:
Eh.. Try a bit harder, mate. I'm assuming you like Death Note too. L is my favorite character.
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posted over a year ago 
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