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Prince Michael Jackson Question

My life with Prince (part 3)

The next day I woke up very happy at what had happened, I was composing a song on the piano, and also coached the voice, I think the music at the Prince. The music was for him. I spent all day composing music. I was wearing a red dress. And I play guitar, when the bell rings, I was excited and nervous, I ran to open the door and ...
"Hello" said Prince
"Hi" I said very happy.
It gives me a red rose, and I said "Thanks." And he said "Come with me, I have something to show you 'and I said" Ok. " I closed the door, he took me to a beautiful garden and romantic, full of red roses. Was there a guitar, he picks up the guitar and started playing and singing for me. I was so happy. When he was finished, we both were smiling at each other, and he asked "what do you think you? and I smiled even more and said "I loved that song" and then give you a hand and took him to my garden where there was one of my piano, I put the red rose he gave me over the piano. I started playing a beautiful melody. At the end of a tune we were looking at each other smiling, shy, stayed that way for several minutes, until ...

Continued =)
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Sorry, there are some errors in this story.
batava posted over a year ago
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I know I should describe my feelings more.
batava posted over a year ago
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lame:/
magic001 posted over a year ago
 batava posted over a year ago
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Prince Michael Jackson Answers

la-la-la-45 said:
This one was a lot better.A couple of more things though.(They weren't really in this one but I feel the need to tell you this.)
-Try not to start sentences with and or but.If you're going to use them for the beginning of a sentence,try to find a way to combine that sentence with the one before it and put a comma before and or but.
-A while ago,my english teacher at school said not to use it a lot,try to be more specific.(I didn't notice that at all in this chapter but it might help in later chapters.)
This chapter was really good.There were more details which helped.Keep up the good work!
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posted over a year ago 
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Thanks
batava posted over a year ago
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Thank you very mutch
batava posted over a year ago
paloma97ppb said:
I like this one! but lol try not to use much "...."
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posted over a year ago 
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agreed
dsgt5 posted over a year ago
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try to make the plot thicker.
pippi713713 posted over a year ago
PrinceMJluv said:
This is such a disney princess story.... lame
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posted over a year ago 
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No...
batava posted over a year ago
dsgt5 said:
this is cool but a little 2 romantic.... If a guy were to take me to a garden full of red roses, i would be blinded by the redness. And if a guy were to sing to me while in the blindness,i would say "no..no dude, just stop.." lol i would feel very uncomfortable having a guy just looking at me while singing, i would be looking the other way.. even if he was good looking (just something i would do)
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posted over a year ago 
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lol
PrinceMJluv posted over a year ago
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... =D
batava posted over a year ago
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