My life with Prince (part 2)

I think you've got a pretty good storyline going.But there are a few things you should consider changing.

*First,you have some really short paragraphs.Try adding some more details and vivid descriptions.it always makes the readers enjoy it a bit more if they can picture whats happening by the details the author gives.
*Second,try not to put things in parantheses.
-Instead of saying (I return to my room),try, After my parents leave I go back upstairs to my room.
*Third,When your characters are having a conversation,it's important to put quotation marks around what they say and who said it.
-Instead of putting -OMG...!- I told my sister try, "Oh my gosh!" I say to my sister,unable to keep my excitement a secret.
-Also,when you're writing a story,don't use text like omg or brb or wtf.Spell out the words.Yeah,it does take a little longer to type out but unless you are showing a conversation people are having on the computer or text messages,it's best to type the words.It'll give the story more of a story like feel.

I hope this helped.I'm a writer so I figured I'd give you some advice.Don't listen to people who put bad stuff saying "Your story sucks!" or "This blows!Stop writing!" because that will only lower your self esteem in writing.You realy do have a good story and with a little revising you can make it better.

I'd Tell you what man, don't leave to much spaces and make the stories bigger cause next year probably we will be in chapter 5 so you know. I think if you can do what recommended would help, good luck!