All police leave was cancelled today in Dubai as UK band JLS jetted in for a brief holiday. Every cop has been put on 24 hour stand-by and compulsory overtime has been introduced for the first time ever. As aeroplane-loads of crazed female fans converged on the holiday paradise it immediately appears that a major incident is inevitable.
Alcohol is banned in Dubai. So any thoughts of drinking wine in the open - either by the pool - or beside the glistening ocean will have to be forgotten. It is a land of strict Muslim rule.
But the real problem is SEX.
Public displays of sex are completely forbidden. Even a peck on the cheek is likely to see a couple dragged away in an armed van. Go a step further - close the eyes, swap tongues and enjoy a bit of mutual stroking - and anyone can forget about catching the flight home.
And girls. Be careful about them puppies. Keep them to yourselves. Know what I mean!!
Worst case scenario: being caught 'doing' it on the beach in the middle of the night. Expect to find yourself in court the next morning to hear a judge who only speaks Arabic wagging his finger and telling you that you've been sentenced to 10 years in prison.
JLS - be warned!
"I'm comin here for de birds. An I don't mean sparrows - if you know what I mean", announced Marvin this morning as he stepped off the plane.
"This is my chance to get myself a girlfriend", explained Aston. "I've made a text offer to Cheryl Cole but until she says she'll 'ave dinner wiv me, I'm open to all offers like".
Meanwhile Oritse and JB were spotted dragging a huge suitcase which had a giant size X on it and the words 'Beware - Handle With Care'.
"Dese are our supply of condoms for the week", they explained.
Alcohol is banned in Dubai. So any thoughts of drinking wine in the open - either by the pool - or beside the glistening ocean will have to be forgotten. It is a land of strict Muslim rule.
But the real problem is SEX.
Public displays of sex are completely forbidden. Even a peck on the cheek is likely to see a couple dragged away in an armed van. Go a step further - close the eyes, swap tongues and enjoy a bit of mutual stroking - and anyone can forget about catching the flight home.
And girls. Be careful about them puppies. Keep them to yourselves. Know what I mean!!
Worst case scenario: being caught 'doing' it on the beach in the middle of the night. Expect to find yourself in court the next morning to hear a judge who only speaks Arabic wagging his finger and telling you that you've been sentenced to 10 years in prison.
JLS - be warned!
"I'm comin here for de birds. An I don't mean sparrows - if you know what I mean", announced Marvin this morning as he stepped off the plane.
"This is my chance to get myself a girlfriend", explained Aston. "I've made a text offer to Cheryl Cole but until she says she'll 'ave dinner wiv me, I'm open to all offers like".
Meanwhile Oritse and JB were spotted dragging a huge suitcase which had a giant size X on it and the words 'Beware - Handle With Care'.
"Dese are our supply of condoms for the week", they explained.
He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
But when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
Said daddy when you coming home
He said the first thing that came to his mind
Im already there
Take a look around
Im the sunshine in your hair
Im the shadow on the ground
Im the whisper in the wind
Im your imaginary friend
And I know Im in your prayers
Oh Im already there
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
But when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
Said daddy when you coming home
He said the first thing that came to his mind
Im already there
Take a look around
Im the sunshine in your hair
Im the shadow on the ground
Im the whisper in the wind
Im your imaginary friend
And I know Im in your prayers
Oh Im already there
So many nights, I'd sit by my window,
Waiting for someone to sing me her song.
So many dreams, I kept deep inside me,
Alone in the dark, but now you've come along.
And you light up my life,
You give me hope, to carry on.
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song.
Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally, I'm turning for home
Finally a chance to say, "Hey, I Love You"
Never again to be all alone.
And you light up my life,
You give me hope, to carry on.
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song.
You light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song
It can't be wrong, when it feels so right
Cause you, you light up my life
Waiting for someone to sing me her song.
So many dreams, I kept deep inside me,
Alone in the dark, but now you've come along.
And you light up my life,
You give me hope, to carry on.
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song.
Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally, I'm turning for home
Finally a chance to say, "Hey, I Love You"
Never again to be all alone.
And you light up my life,
You give me hope, to carry on.
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song.
You light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song
It can't be wrong, when it feels so right
Cause you, you light up my life
Hey Pretty Baby With The
High Heels On
You Give Me Fever
Like I've Never, Ever Known
You're Just A Product Of
Loveliness
I Like The Groove Of
Your Walk,
Your Talk, Your Dress
I Feel Your Fever
From Miles Around
I'll Pick You Up In My Car
And We'll Paint The Town
Just Kiss Me Baby
And Tell Me Twice
That You're The One For Me
The Way You Make Me Feel
(The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On
(You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet
(You Knock Me Off Of
My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)
High Heels On
You Give Me Fever
Like I've Never, Ever Known
You're Just A Product Of
Loveliness
I Like The Groove Of
Your Walk,
Your Talk, Your Dress
I Feel Your Fever
From Miles Around
I'll Pick You Up In My Car
And We'll Paint The Town
Just Kiss Me Baby
And Tell Me Twice
That You're The One For Me
The Way You Make Me Feel
(The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On
(You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet
(You Knock Me Off Of
My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)