(The Cheerios were practicing a routine in the gym room, and their coach, Sue Sylvester was watching uncomfortably. She was rubbing her stomach and her forehead, wondering what was going on with her. She grabbed her megaphone to yell at her hard-working Cheerios.)
Sue: Ladies, this is a disappointment!
Santana: Coach Sylvester, we've been doing this for 4 hours today already.
Brittany (confused): Really? (She spoke to herself.) Damn, I can't count time...
Sue: You look like baby elephants swinging from vines here. Let's look light and alive, people!
(Coach Roz, coach of the swim team, could be heard from the gym entrance. She shook her head and shouted to Sue.)
Coach Roz: You're the one to talk, Sylvester!
Sue (turning to Coach Roz): You again?
Coach Roz: In all my days of coaching a synchronized swimming team, I've never seen worse leadership than this. You mind handing me that megaphone of yours? In your condition, you're too weak to even pick up a marble by your chimpanzee-sized feet.
(A few Cheerios laughed at Coach Roz's joke. Sue, annoyed, looked up at Coach Roz.)
Sue: And what makes you think I'm too weak to run a cheerleading squad?
Coach Roz: Look at you! You're lazier than the fat guy from the chicken and fish commercials. That baby bump's gonna get bigger and bigger, until an elephant head comes squeezing out of your snake hole. Believe me, you won't be as strong as I sooner or later.
Sue: You really think so?
(Coach Roz nods. Sue turns to her Cheerios and tells them to go over the routine they practiced today. They did a good job even though they were tired. Coach Roz yawned.)
Coach Roz: Okay, I understand if this was a circus stunt. Now get ready for the pumped-up ride of your life.
(Twenty minutes later, all of the Cheerios except Becky and Santana were doing Coach Roz's version of the routine. All of the girls were crumping, and Brittany was the center of attention. At the end everyone applauded, Santana being the loudest.)
Cheerio #1: Amazing!
Cheerio #2: Coach Roz, that was awesome!
Brittany: That's better than what I see at the May Day Parade.
Coach Roz (to Sue): The fans have spoken, Sylvester. You might as well hang up your pompons, your weakening vocal cords, and your weak ass. Wanna know why? I'm taking these Cheerios to the national championships.
(The bell suddenly rang. Coach Roz and the Cheerios left the gym room. Becky stayed behind to talk to Sue.)
Becky: I'm sorry she treated you that way, Coach.
Sue: No, you're not.
Becky: What do you mean?
Sue: I saw you. You and Brittany were both pumping your little watermelons out of your leotards. I can't blame you, though. Yelling at you is like killing a baby deer. Brittany, on the other hand, is as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, and it's very irritating.
Becky: You need to take care of yourself so you can raise your baby. I'll still be there to help lead Cheerios.
Sue (smiling): You just made my day, Beckster. I'm glad I made you co-captain. Now could you please help with the equipment?
Becky: Got it, Coach.
(As Becky went to get the Cheerios equipment, Sue got up and started walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge. Some teachers spotted her and laughed.)
Teacher #1 (pointing to Sue's stomach): Look who came from the food court.
Teacher #2 (laughs): And I thought my mother's sister was the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
(Enraged, Sue goes over and pulls the second teacher out of his chair by the shirt collar.)
Sue: Listen here, pal! I'll have you know that I have a baby girl here swimming in this little pool sac as known as a womb. I'm still the same on the inside. Now if you try and make me mad one more time, I'll have everyone in this room hung on top of the Eiffel Tower by your ears! You listening to me is definitely not the worst pain in the world! Don't act like you're trying to disrespect me, 'cause I'm a championship-winning Cheerios coach--best in the U.S. Beat that, you filthy, no-good losers!
(Sue walked out of the room, trying to calm down from her little rant. The other teachers looked around.)
Teacher #3: What the hell was that?
Teacher #4: Fat b*tch...
So, what did you think? I hope you liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Twenty-Nine!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!
Sue: Ladies, this is a disappointment!
Santana: Coach Sylvester, we've been doing this for 4 hours today already.
Brittany (confused): Really? (She spoke to herself.) Damn, I can't count time...
Sue: You look like baby elephants swinging from vines here. Let's look light and alive, people!
(Coach Roz, coach of the swim team, could be heard from the gym entrance. She shook her head and shouted to Sue.)
Coach Roz: You're the one to talk, Sylvester!
Sue (turning to Coach Roz): You again?
Coach Roz: In all my days of coaching a synchronized swimming team, I've never seen worse leadership than this. You mind handing me that megaphone of yours? In your condition, you're too weak to even pick up a marble by your chimpanzee-sized feet.
(A few Cheerios laughed at Coach Roz's joke. Sue, annoyed, looked up at Coach Roz.)
Sue: And what makes you think I'm too weak to run a cheerleading squad?
Coach Roz: Look at you! You're lazier than the fat guy from the chicken and fish commercials. That baby bump's gonna get bigger and bigger, until an elephant head comes squeezing out of your snake hole. Believe me, you won't be as strong as I sooner or later.
Sue: You really think so?
(Coach Roz nods. Sue turns to her Cheerios and tells them to go over the routine they practiced today. They did a good job even though they were tired. Coach Roz yawned.)
Coach Roz: Okay, I understand if this was a circus stunt. Now get ready for the pumped-up ride of your life.
(Twenty minutes later, all of the Cheerios except Becky and Santana were doing Coach Roz's version of the routine. All of the girls were crumping, and Brittany was the center of attention. At the end everyone applauded, Santana being the loudest.)
Cheerio #1: Amazing!
Cheerio #2: Coach Roz, that was awesome!
Brittany: That's better than what I see at the May Day Parade.
Coach Roz (to Sue): The fans have spoken, Sylvester. You might as well hang up your pompons, your weakening vocal cords, and your weak ass. Wanna know why? I'm taking these Cheerios to the national championships.
(The bell suddenly rang. Coach Roz and the Cheerios left the gym room. Becky stayed behind to talk to Sue.)
Becky: I'm sorry she treated you that way, Coach.
Sue: No, you're not.
Becky: What do you mean?
Sue: I saw you. You and Brittany were both pumping your little watermelons out of your leotards. I can't blame you, though. Yelling at you is like killing a baby deer. Brittany, on the other hand, is as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, and it's very irritating.
Becky: You need to take care of yourself so you can raise your baby. I'll still be there to help lead Cheerios.
Sue (smiling): You just made my day, Beckster. I'm glad I made you co-captain. Now could you please help with the equipment?
Becky: Got it, Coach.
(As Becky went to get the Cheerios equipment, Sue got up and started walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge. Some teachers spotted her and laughed.)
Teacher #1 (pointing to Sue's stomach): Look who came from the food court.
Teacher #2 (laughs): And I thought my mother's sister was the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
(Enraged, Sue goes over and pulls the second teacher out of his chair by the shirt collar.)
Sue: Listen here, pal! I'll have you know that I have a baby girl here swimming in this little pool sac as known as a womb. I'm still the same on the inside. Now if you try and make me mad one more time, I'll have everyone in this room hung on top of the Eiffel Tower by your ears! You listening to me is definitely not the worst pain in the world! Don't act like you're trying to disrespect me, 'cause I'm a championship-winning Cheerios coach--best in the U.S. Beat that, you filthy, no-good losers!
(Sue walked out of the room, trying to calm down from her little rant. The other teachers looked around.)
Teacher #3: What the hell was that?
Teacher #4: Fat b*tch...
So, what did you think? I hope you liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Twenty-Nine!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!