Rachel: Santana, what are you and your Troubletones doing here?
Quinn: Yes, it's highly rude that you'd just barge in and give one of your stupid back talks to us.
Santana (to Quinn): Listen, lady. You'd better keep white-girl ass over there, and trying to speak as if you're one of those people that migrate from England or Britain.
Quinn (gasping, British accent): My word! You're the little no-no talky one, aren't you?
Tina: We don't like the way you talk to us, Santana. And you bullied Rory. He's a foreign exchange student. Give him a chance.
Santana (to Tina): Maybe I don't like the way you're interrupting the storyline here, brown eyes.
Artie: Don't talk to Tina like that. She didn't do anything to you.
Santana: Just like no one said anything to you. Right, Artie? (Santana looks up at Rory.) So we meet again, chicken face. You have two options here. You either go back to your real home, squeeze that big old head of yours into your mother's hole, and die...or you can--
Kurt (from the entrance): Santana, what are you doing?
(Kurt had just entered the room with his hands on his hips and an angry stare at Santana. Blaine jumped up and ran to hug him.)
Blaine (joyfully): You finally made it, Honey Lips.
Kurt (holding his finger up): Not now, Blaine. I'm taking care of business here.
Santana (looking at Kurt and Blaine, calling to the Troubletones): Well, lookie here, girls. It's the Lima-Ohio Trend Monsters.
(Kurt and Blaine look at each other with sassy looks on their faces, and then turn back to Santana. Kurt holds up his sassy finger.)
Kurt: Squeeze me?
Blaine: Oh, no you didn't.
Cheerio #1 (putting her sassy finger up): Oh, yes she did.
Kurt (to Cheerio #1): Girl, you better get them fake ol' nails outta my face.
(The Cheerios behind Mercedes and Santana all gasped and backed away.)
Mercedes: Quit trying to go black on us, Kurt. You know you don't roll like that.
Kurt: Oh really, 'Cedes? Speaking of which, we saw you and Santana's video at the mall. Yeah. It's was featured in the security office. (Kurt and Blaine starting laughing together.) I was, like, 'from hoes to kleptoes'.
Santana (sighs): Oh really, homo Hummel? Well, we also saw your father there. Explain to me why he said he was buying bedsheets and a new chair, but he was actually in the lingerie section finding something for him to wear to 'pay day night'.
Blaine (sassy): What?
Kurt (sassy): Girl, what did you say?
(Santana and Mercedes share a high-five and giggle together.)
Kurt: Oh, so it's like that?
Santana: I'm down.
Mercedes: Bring it.
Kurt: Okay. You're mother's so dumb, instead of saying she got a GPA, she got a GPS.
(Kurt and Blaine continue to laugh together and share high-fives. Artie was in the background, laughing.)
Santana: Your father's so fat, Coach Sylvester used him as an exercise ball.
Blaine (sassy): Your mother is so gross, she drank her own pee to perserve the town's drinking water.
(Tina, Mike, and Puck started giggling. Mercedes shot them a sassy and angry look.)
Santana: Your father's so poor, he uses shoestrings to pay for your college fund.
(Mercedes snaps her fingers at Blaine and Kurt.)
Kurt: Your mother's so old, back when she was in school, there was no history class.
(Blaine was cracking up next to him, and some of the New Directions members were laughing as well.)
Mercedes: Your father is so hairy, people mistaken him for a gorilla at the zoo.
(The Troubletones were laughing, and Kurt and Blaine ran out of jokes. They were hopeless.)
Kurt's Thoughts: Oh great, what now?
(Brittany finally enters the room.)
Brittany: Hey, Santana! Your mother's so ugly, the doctor slapped your grandmother's butt for giving birth to her.
Santana: What?!
(All of New Directions were laughing, and the Troubletones shot disgusted looks at Brittany.)
Santana: Brittany, I though you were on my side.
Brittany: That was before you treated Rory badly. But now I'm here to stick up to him, Blaine, and Kurt.
(She looked over at Rory, who was smiling and waving at her. Brittany waved back. Santana scoffed and walked out of the choir room with the Troubletones.)
Brittany (calling out to Santana): Are we still on for dinner at Breadstix tonight?!
Kurt (to Brittany): Thanks, Brit.
Brittany: Any time.
Artie: Now I'm scared.
Blaine: Why?
Artie: Because movie night at McKinley is coming soon...and I'm just now wondering what Santana's mother looks like.
Well, here's Chapter Fourteen. What do you think?
Here's the link for Chapter Thirteen!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Fifteen!!!
Quinn: Yes, it's highly rude that you'd just barge in and give one of your stupid back talks to us.
Santana (to Quinn): Listen, lady. You'd better keep white-girl ass over there, and trying to speak as if you're one of those people that migrate from England or Britain.
Quinn (gasping, British accent): My word! You're the little no-no talky one, aren't you?
Tina: We don't like the way you talk to us, Santana. And you bullied Rory. He's a foreign exchange student. Give him a chance.
Santana (to Tina): Maybe I don't like the way you're interrupting the storyline here, brown eyes.
Artie: Don't talk to Tina like that. She didn't do anything to you.
Santana: Just like no one said anything to you. Right, Artie? (Santana looks up at Rory.) So we meet again, chicken face. You have two options here. You either go back to your real home, squeeze that big old head of yours into your mother's hole, and die...or you can--
Kurt (from the entrance): Santana, what are you doing?
(Kurt had just entered the room with his hands on his hips and an angry stare at Santana. Blaine jumped up and ran to hug him.)
Blaine (joyfully): You finally made it, Honey Lips.
Kurt (holding his finger up): Not now, Blaine. I'm taking care of business here.
Santana (looking at Kurt and Blaine, calling to the Troubletones): Well, lookie here, girls. It's the Lima-Ohio Trend Monsters.
(Kurt and Blaine look at each other with sassy looks on their faces, and then turn back to Santana. Kurt holds up his sassy finger.)
Kurt: Squeeze me?
Blaine: Oh, no you didn't.
Cheerio #1 (putting her sassy finger up): Oh, yes she did.
Kurt (to Cheerio #1): Girl, you better get them fake ol' nails outta my face.
(The Cheerios behind Mercedes and Santana all gasped and backed away.)
Mercedes: Quit trying to go black on us, Kurt. You know you don't roll like that.
Kurt: Oh really, 'Cedes? Speaking of which, we saw you and Santana's video at the mall. Yeah. It's was featured in the security office. (Kurt and Blaine starting laughing together.) I was, like, 'from hoes to kleptoes'.
Santana (sighs): Oh really, homo Hummel? Well, we also saw your father there. Explain to me why he said he was buying bedsheets and a new chair, but he was actually in the lingerie section finding something for him to wear to 'pay day night'.
Blaine (sassy): What?
Kurt (sassy): Girl, what did you say?
(Santana and Mercedes share a high-five and giggle together.)
Kurt: Oh, so it's like that?
Santana: I'm down.
Mercedes: Bring it.
Kurt: Okay. You're mother's so dumb, instead of saying she got a GPA, she got a GPS.
(Kurt and Blaine continue to laugh together and share high-fives. Artie was in the background, laughing.)
Santana: Your father's so fat, Coach Sylvester used him as an exercise ball.
Blaine (sassy): Your mother is so gross, she drank her own pee to perserve the town's drinking water.
(Tina, Mike, and Puck started giggling. Mercedes shot them a sassy and angry look.)
Santana: Your father's so poor, he uses shoestrings to pay for your college fund.
(Mercedes snaps her fingers at Blaine and Kurt.)
Kurt: Your mother's so old, back when she was in school, there was no history class.
(Blaine was cracking up next to him, and some of the New Directions members were laughing as well.)
Mercedes: Your father is so hairy, people mistaken him for a gorilla at the zoo.
(The Troubletones were laughing, and Kurt and Blaine ran out of jokes. They were hopeless.)
Kurt's Thoughts: Oh great, what now?
(Brittany finally enters the room.)
Brittany: Hey, Santana! Your mother's so ugly, the doctor slapped your grandmother's butt for giving birth to her.
Santana: What?!
(All of New Directions were laughing, and the Troubletones shot disgusted looks at Brittany.)
Santana: Brittany, I though you were on my side.
Brittany: That was before you treated Rory badly. But now I'm here to stick up to him, Blaine, and Kurt.
(She looked over at Rory, who was smiling and waving at her. Brittany waved back. Santana scoffed and walked out of the choir room with the Troubletones.)
Brittany (calling out to Santana): Are we still on for dinner at Breadstix tonight?!
Kurt (to Brittany): Thanks, Brit.
Brittany: Any time.
Artie: Now I'm scared.
Blaine: Why?
Artie: Because movie night at McKinley is coming soon...and I'm just now wondering what Santana's mother looks like.
Well, here's Chapter Fourteen. What do you think?
Here's the link for Chapter Thirteen!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Fifteen!!!