“Honey, time to get up and get ready for your first day of high school!” my mom said eagerly waiting down the staircase. I yawn and look in the mirror. I looked terrible my eyeliner was smeared and my hair was knotted badly from teasing it and not brushing it before I went to sleep last night.
“Whatever” I said to myself as I tried to make it look better, but all that happened was flat and wavy bangs I knew I had to fix this problem. I quickly got into the shower, straightened my hair, teased it, brushed my teeth and washed it out with coke. Then, I threw on my black ripped skinny jeans with my rainbow black tee shirt I got from Pacsun and my All Time Low vs. Paramore hoodie and ran out the door.
As I reached the bus stop the bus came and I got on, but I was so out of breath that I didn’t see one of the blondes trip me.
“Oopse, watch it freak” she said in a stupid tone. I just stood up quietly and picked up my stuff ignoring her and sat in the empty seat in the back of the bus.
When I got to the school everyone was staring at me and I hated it. As I cleared my way through the crowd I ran into what felt a brick wall.
“Sorry I wasn’t paying attention I was trying to get away from all these disgusting people.” I heard a low voice say, I looked up and saw another skater like me of course he had his skateboard with him and he was riding on it……..makes sense that he wasn’t looking where he was going if he was going 50 miles an hour on a skateboard. But it didn’t matter I didn’t speak.
“I’m Jeff and you are?” he waited impenitently for my name.
“Hayley, my name is Hayley.” I said while looking down. He then stood up and reached out his hand to help me up. I stared at it, he just laughed at me.
“It’s not going to bite” he joked. I sighed and grabbed his hand and he lifted me up easily.
“So what are you doing in NY?” he asked me.
“I’ve always lived in NY, besides why do you care?”
“Because you’re different from the other girls, dude something’s different about you now spill, where are you really from?”
“Michigan, okay I’m from the crappy Detroit alleys.”
“Have you looked here? It’s no different and besides it’s not bad there?
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHATS IT LIKE THERE SO SHUT UP CUZ THAT PLACE IS HORRIBLE!” I screamed at him.
“Whoa, Hayles don’t freak it’s just a state.” He told me bravely. He had a lot of guts to tell me not to freak, I thought in my mind.
“I’m sorry, it’s just….my sister was stabbed there and I’m never going back there ever again. He froze there not knowing what to say, he was speechless.
“Hayles I had no idea im so sorry” he came up and hugged me as I stared to shed tears.
Now, ever since that day we have been best friends. It’s been a year now and Jeff and I are going to grinding at the school steps. I never was a perfect child but I also was never good at anything so I was a little nervous to see how it would turn out. That was until Cassy and her crew showed up. Jeff gagged as he saw Cassy come closer to him. She started to flirt with him.
“Your hair is so sexy, how it’s dark and black and how your bangs go over your eye and are spiked in the back and your eyes, those smoky grey eyes….I never notice how cute you are.” She began to lean it and I had to hurry fast before he would barf from being disgusted. I saw a strawberry smoothie on the side of the street right by the beach but there was a bridge there I wouldn’t make it in time…unless. I then grabbed my skateboard while Jeff tried to pull her away and I grinded the whole 20 foot wide bridge and grabbed the smoothie and raced back over to the bitch and right when her lips touched his, she got served.
“Don’t forget the cherry” I said happily after I poured the smoothie on there head, and not only that but she was wearing a bikini so it must have been a little chilly for her.
“AGHHHHHHH YOU STUPID EMO HORE I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!!!” she yelled.
“Hey I’d rather be an emo hoe than a slutty blonde bitch any day. She stomped away yelling and crying, while as for me I was laughing my fuckin’ ass off on the floor rolling.
(Cough)” Thanks Haley, I don’t know how I could ever repay you” Jeff said to me shyly.
“Don’t thank me cuz you taught me how to grind which was awesome, so thank you!” I said happily and ran up and hugged him.
“Hayley can we talk for a sec?” Jeff asked me.
“Yah, what’s up? Is everything okay?” I asked.
“No things aren’t okay, because I fell in love with my best friend.” I stared shocked at him as he turned to me and said Hayley William Rogers will you be my girlfriend-
No let me rephrase that. “Hayley William Rogers will you be my life?”
“You want me to marry you!! Your insane I’m only 15 an-
(Jeff laughing)
“Why are you laughing this is serious your so stupid! I yelled at him frustrated.
“Hayley I don’t want to marry you, I want to be your boyfriend and you call me stupid. I laughed and told him yes cuz I’ve actually had a big crush on him or a while but I was afraid to tell him and he broke the ice. When I went in to kiss him he fell to the ground and was holding his arm looking in pain, I lifted up his sleeve and there was scars on him.
“I….I…I’m sorry Hayley I didn’t want you to find out yet but please call 911 and fast! Jeff yelled at me.
“Whatever” I said to myself as I tried to make it look better, but all that happened was flat and wavy bangs I knew I had to fix this problem. I quickly got into the shower, straightened my hair, teased it, brushed my teeth and washed it out with coke. Then, I threw on my black ripped skinny jeans with my rainbow black tee shirt I got from Pacsun and my All Time Low vs. Paramore hoodie and ran out the door.
As I reached the bus stop the bus came and I got on, but I was so out of breath that I didn’t see one of the blondes trip me.
“Oopse, watch it freak” she said in a stupid tone. I just stood up quietly and picked up my stuff ignoring her and sat in the empty seat in the back of the bus.
When I got to the school everyone was staring at me and I hated it. As I cleared my way through the crowd I ran into what felt a brick wall.
“Sorry I wasn’t paying attention I was trying to get away from all these disgusting people.” I heard a low voice say, I looked up and saw another skater like me of course he had his skateboard with him and he was riding on it……..makes sense that he wasn’t looking where he was going if he was going 50 miles an hour on a skateboard. But it didn’t matter I didn’t speak.
“I’m Jeff and you are?” he waited impenitently for my name.
“Hayley, my name is Hayley.” I said while looking down. He then stood up and reached out his hand to help me up. I stared at it, he just laughed at me.
“It’s not going to bite” he joked. I sighed and grabbed his hand and he lifted me up easily.
“So what are you doing in NY?” he asked me.
“I’ve always lived in NY, besides why do you care?”
“Because you’re different from the other girls, dude something’s different about you now spill, where are you really from?”
“Michigan, okay I’m from the crappy Detroit alleys.”
“Have you looked here? It’s no different and besides it’s not bad there?
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHATS IT LIKE THERE SO SHUT UP CUZ THAT PLACE IS HORRIBLE!” I screamed at him.
“Whoa, Hayles don’t freak it’s just a state.” He told me bravely. He had a lot of guts to tell me not to freak, I thought in my mind.
“I’m sorry, it’s just….my sister was stabbed there and I’m never going back there ever again. He froze there not knowing what to say, he was speechless.
“Hayles I had no idea im so sorry” he came up and hugged me as I stared to shed tears.
Now, ever since that day we have been best friends. It’s been a year now and Jeff and I are going to grinding at the school steps. I never was a perfect child but I also was never good at anything so I was a little nervous to see how it would turn out. That was until Cassy and her crew showed up. Jeff gagged as he saw Cassy come closer to him. She started to flirt with him.
“Your hair is so sexy, how it’s dark and black and how your bangs go over your eye and are spiked in the back and your eyes, those smoky grey eyes….I never notice how cute you are.” She began to lean it and I had to hurry fast before he would barf from being disgusted. I saw a strawberry smoothie on the side of the street right by the beach but there was a bridge there I wouldn’t make it in time…unless. I then grabbed my skateboard while Jeff tried to pull her away and I grinded the whole 20 foot wide bridge and grabbed the smoothie and raced back over to the bitch and right when her lips touched his, she got served.
“Don’t forget the cherry” I said happily after I poured the smoothie on there head, and not only that but she was wearing a bikini so it must have been a little chilly for her.
“AGHHHHHHH YOU STUPID EMO HORE I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!!!” she yelled.
“Hey I’d rather be an emo hoe than a slutty blonde bitch any day. She stomped away yelling and crying, while as for me I was laughing my fuckin’ ass off on the floor rolling.
(Cough)” Thanks Haley, I don’t know how I could ever repay you” Jeff said to me shyly.
“Don’t thank me cuz you taught me how to grind which was awesome, so thank you!” I said happily and ran up and hugged him.
“Hayley can we talk for a sec?” Jeff asked me.
“Yah, what’s up? Is everything okay?” I asked.
“No things aren’t okay, because I fell in love with my best friend.” I stared shocked at him as he turned to me and said Hayley William Rogers will you be my girlfriend-
No let me rephrase that. “Hayley William Rogers will you be my life?”
“You want me to marry you!! Your insane I’m only 15 an-
(Jeff laughing)
“Why are you laughing this is serious your so stupid! I yelled at him frustrated.
“Hayley I don’t want to marry you, I want to be your boyfriend and you call me stupid. I laughed and told him yes cuz I’ve actually had a big crush on him or a while but I was afraid to tell him and he broke the ice. When I went in to kiss him he fell to the ground and was holding his arm looking in pain, I lifted up his sleeve and there was scars on him.
“I….I…I’m sorry Hayley I didn’t want you to find out yet but please call 911 and fast! Jeff yelled at me.
To all the Emos out there....
Two slits on my wrists
To hide.
Two slits on my wrists
Whose blood subsides.
Leaving two scars on my wrists
Forever left behind.
Blood paints my skin,
As I cut away my sins,
Of hate and depression.
I feel pain for once,
That won't last long,
Because I sing my song,
Of death and pain,
With joy because I gain,
Peace...
I feel no love.
I feel no joy.
Only feelings of
The pull to destroy,
What is left of my soul,
Which is as dark as coal,
And end my life forever.
I toy with the minds,
Of people who find,
That I am not the same,
As I used to be.
And as I explain,
The tragedy,
That led to my change,
They recognize my life,
As unworthy.
So forever I sit,
Alone in this world,
Cutting away,
To my death,
Cutting away,
To my last breath.
Two slits on my wrists
To hide.
Two slits on my wrists
Whose blood subsides.
Leaving two scars on my wrists
Forever left behind.
Blood paints my skin,
As I cut away my sins,
Of hate and depression.
I feel pain for once,
That won't last long,
Because I sing my song,
Of death and pain,
With joy because I gain,
Peace...
I feel no love.
I feel no joy.
Only feelings of
The pull to destroy,
What is left of my soul,
Which is as dark as coal,
And end my life forever.
I toy with the minds,
Of people who find,
That I am not the same,
As I used to be.
And as I explain,
The tragedy,
That led to my change,
They recognize my life,
As unworthy.
So forever I sit,
Alone in this world,
Cutting away,
To my death,
Cutting away,
To my last breath.
Sanctuary
Fate has caused me all this pain
Inside I bare these scars
That will not heal
Please help me feel
All the love I was denied
I've tried to find sanctuary in myself
Why can't I find the truth of it all
Left behind in darkened times
Will I rise or will I fall?
But in the end its all the same to me
This curse inflicted upon my heart
Has gone and left me all alone
No one can justify
The cruelty i've known
Will I ever be the same again?
I've tried to find the sanctuary in myself
Why can't I find the truth of it all
Left behind in darkened times
Will I rise or will I fall?
But in the end its all the same to me
Is this the answer to all thay is real?
Can pain really be love?
Is life too cruel to feel?
Why can't I find the truth of it all
Left behind in darkened times
Will I rise or will I fall?
But in the end its all the same to me
Fate has caused me all this pain
Inside I bare these scars
That will not heal
Please help me feel
All the love I was denied
I've tried to find sanctuary in myself
Why can't I find the truth of it all
Left behind in darkened times
Will I rise or will I fall?
But in the end its all the same to me
This curse inflicted upon my heart
Has gone and left me all alone
No one can justify
The cruelty i've known
Will I ever be the same again?
I've tried to find the sanctuary in myself
Why can't I find the truth of it all
Left behind in darkened times
Will I rise or will I fall?
But in the end its all the same to me
Is this the answer to all thay is real?
Can pain really be love?
Is life too cruel to feel?
Why can't I find the truth of it all
Left behind in darkened times
Will I rise or will I fall?
But in the end its all the same to me
mam cries,
dad shouts,
brother moans,
sister hides,
dog barks,
cat meows,
paremedics are coming and they'll always be coming cos i wont stop cutting my wrists.
Doctors patronize,
nurses tut,
people criticize,
kids stare,
police investigate,
teachers nag,
friends worry,
social workers came, they've came to take me away cos I didn't stop cutting my wrists.
I hoped you like this poem even though it doesn't rhyme.
It still needs loving just like you and I.
When you can't understand,
why everyone wants to hurt you,
they don't like the fact that you can,
do everything better then they can do.
So you're an emo and you cut your wrists,
that doesn't make you strange,
you get angry and clinch your fists,
when people try to make you change.
You may wonder why,
people want to help,
cos they know that you want to die,
and that soon you'll kill yourself.
I don't care if someone thinks I'm wrong,
when I say that all emos are,
the best damn people in the world,
and the sexiest by far. :) xx
why everyone wants to hurt you,
they don't like the fact that you can,
do everything better then they can do.
So you're an emo and you cut your wrists,
that doesn't make you strange,
you get angry and clinch your fists,
when people try to make you change.
You may wonder why,
people want to help,
cos they know that you want to die,
and that soon you'll kill yourself.
I don't care if someone thinks I'm wrong,
when I say that all emos are,
the best damn people in the world,
and the sexiest by far. :) xx
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut