Charm-the Real Feminine Mystique:
"A girl need not have perfect features nor an outstanding figure to be popular. But she should have charm. As Sir James Barrie had Maggie say in his play, What Every Woman Knows, 'If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have.'
Once you have acquired charm, you'll probably never lose it. Especially after you have discovered how much happier your life is because you are considered to be that charming girl down the street.
To be charming you need not to be any particular age, weight or height or have any specific coloring or proportions. Charm is like an essence. It is easier to recognize it in a person than to define it, although Webster's Third New International Dictionary says that charm is 'a combination of entirely attractive and delightful traits.'
Author and scholar Havelock Ellis wrote, 'Charm is a woman's strength just as strength is a man's charm.'"
So some of you might have guessed as much, but I am definitely a person who is living "out of my time" in the sense that I feel like I would fit in better with a different era. That being said, I have one of those old "Charm Handbooks" from the early 1970s before American woman started throwing away all of their charm and graces out of the window. I love this book, the values it teaches and the advice it gives. Most of all, I love how this book has never made me feel more proud of femininity and what true femininity produces. I wish that charm schools were still a big deal in America, especially since they are more needed now than they were in their time. Since this valuable wealth of knowledge has been cast away as "old-timey" instead of recognized as "tried and true", I thought I would share some of it here, for those who still care about women having grace, respecting each other and having better relations with other people. In relation to the Disney Princesses, I have attached each DP to the attribute of charm that I think she best represents:
"Don't blame your family, circumstances or birth for what you are. Your personality can become the way you wish it to be... It is up to you to make the changes necessary for improvement. Changing is a part of growing, a process that began when you were born. It continues all your life. By giving more thought to your attitudes, you can alter and redirect the course of your life.
Remember you'll only be as beautiful as the inner you permits. Cosmetics, clothing, and a trim figure can do wonders, but they can seldom hide a distorted inner you."
Poise: Aurora
The poised girl maintains calm when she has a difficult situation to handle. She goes about it naturally and easily and avoids nervous movements of the body. This will only serve to work to her advantage. She does not want to let her enemies know they have affected her and she doesn't want to lose her head in impulsive and irrational thoughts. Her grace will also help her lead others into being more calm in a difficult situation.
Spirit of Adventure: Ariel
Since you can't always pack your bags and sail to faraway islands, begin to develop a spirit of adventure by trying new ideas, new thoughts, a new method of study, a new way of wearing your hair or even a new food! Trying new things opens up more possibilities in your life. You will be able to learn more about yourself (including what you like and don't like) as well as others. [This will also give you more to talk about with a bigger range of diverse people.]
Sense of Humor: Anna
You'll find the person you enjoy being with most is the one who finds the things you say witty. More important, the one who enjoys being with you is also someone whose wit you appreciate. Look for the things in life worth laughing about. If you take yourself too seriously and cannot laugh about simple things, this will have an effect on your later overall health. You'll get extra points for telling a funny story about yourself. Remember, however, to laugh with people, not at them.
Appreciation of Beauty: Jasmine & Pocahontas
You can hardly be charming and beautiful if you can't see and feel beauty. If you haven't thought about it, try, to appreciate the beautiful things in life. There is beauty all around- in the shape of a leaf, the changing sky, the smell of spring, or the laughter of a friend.
Be An Interesting/Interested Conversationalist: Elsa
You should be interesting to others. That means you must be able to contribute to a conversation- at a party, in groups, large or small, even on a one-to-one basis. Find out what you really like. Learn to talk about interests such as music, books, movies or sports etc.
Spiritual Graciousness: Snow White
Spiritual graciousness is at the heart of charm. Know and practice the courtesies of daily living. Avoid jokes at the expense of others; avoid gossip and a condemnatory attitude. Forgive those who hurt you. Show tolerance for those who upset you. Generosity of spirit involves giving credit and praise from when they are deserved. Respect the opinions and rights of other people. Treat them the way you would like to be treated regardless of their station in life. The Golden Rule is as important today as ever.
Balanced Emotions: Cinderella & Belle
Perhaps the hardest requirement of all is self-discipline- control of yourself and your emotions. Spontaneously showing happiness, joy, surprise- or even annoyance when you are angered- is to be true to yourself. But to live happily with others, you also must exercise self-control. It is this balance between spontaneity of feelings and discipline or control that you will want to achieve.
Making Friends: Rapunzel
The charming girl is interested in virtually all [good] people and all aspects of life. She knows that almost everyone [decent] can contribute something to her life. So meet and make new friends; don't limit your circle of friends to just a few if you really want to grow.
Good Family Relationships & Values: Mulan & Tiana
Because we are so close to our families, we tend to lose sight of the fact that they deserve the same courtesies we give others [especially strangers]. Too often we expect our parents, siblings, etc. to give more to us than we give to them. There should be mutual respect and understanding within family groups. If you don't think you are getting it, try giving it. It will probably be returned.
Self-Confidence: Merida
If you don't like yourself, if you don't feel your actions, habits or appearance can stand competition, or comparison, you lack self-confidence. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. If you do believe in yourself, there is almost nothing in life you wont be able to do.
"A girl need not have perfect features nor an outstanding figure to be popular. But she should have charm. As Sir James Barrie had Maggie say in his play, What Every Woman Knows, 'If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have.'
Once you have acquired charm, you'll probably never lose it. Especially after you have discovered how much happier your life is because you are considered to be that charming girl down the street.
To be charming you need not to be any particular age, weight or height or have any specific coloring or proportions. Charm is like an essence. It is easier to recognize it in a person than to define it, although Webster's Third New International Dictionary says that charm is 'a combination of entirely attractive and delightful traits.'
Author and scholar Havelock Ellis wrote, 'Charm is a woman's strength just as strength is a man's charm.'"
So some of you might have guessed as much, but I am definitely a person who is living "out of my time" in the sense that I feel like I would fit in better with a different era. That being said, I have one of those old "Charm Handbooks" from the early 1970s before American woman started throwing away all of their charm and graces out of the window. I love this book, the values it teaches and the advice it gives. Most of all, I love how this book has never made me feel more proud of femininity and what true femininity produces. I wish that charm schools were still a big deal in America, especially since they are more needed now than they were in their time. Since this valuable wealth of knowledge has been cast away as "old-timey" instead of recognized as "tried and true", I thought I would share some of it here, for those who still care about women having grace, respecting each other and having better relations with other people. In relation to the Disney Princesses, I have attached each DP to the attribute of charm that I think she best represents:
"Don't blame your family, circumstances or birth for what you are. Your personality can become the way you wish it to be... It is up to you to make the changes necessary for improvement. Changing is a part of growing, a process that began when you were born. It continues all your life. By giving more thought to your attitudes, you can alter and redirect the course of your life.
Remember you'll only be as beautiful as the inner you permits. Cosmetics, clothing, and a trim figure can do wonders, but they can seldom hide a distorted inner you."
Poise: Aurora
The poised girl maintains calm when she has a difficult situation to handle. She goes about it naturally and easily and avoids nervous movements of the body. This will only serve to work to her advantage. She does not want to let her enemies know they have affected her and she doesn't want to lose her head in impulsive and irrational thoughts. Her grace will also help her lead others into being more calm in a difficult situation.
Spirit of Adventure: Ariel
Since you can't always pack your bags and sail to faraway islands, begin to develop a spirit of adventure by trying new ideas, new thoughts, a new method of study, a new way of wearing your hair or even a new food! Trying new things opens up more possibilities in your life. You will be able to learn more about yourself (including what you like and don't like) as well as others. [This will also give you more to talk about with a bigger range of diverse people.]
Sense of Humor: Anna
You'll find the person you enjoy being with most is the one who finds the things you say witty. More important, the one who enjoys being with you is also someone whose wit you appreciate. Look for the things in life worth laughing about. If you take yourself too seriously and cannot laugh about simple things, this will have an effect on your later overall health. You'll get extra points for telling a funny story about yourself. Remember, however, to laugh with people, not at them.
Appreciation of Beauty: Jasmine & Pocahontas
You can hardly be charming and beautiful if you can't see and feel beauty. If you haven't thought about it, try, to appreciate the beautiful things in life. There is beauty all around- in the shape of a leaf, the changing sky, the smell of spring, or the laughter of a friend.
Be An Interesting/Interested Conversationalist: Elsa
You should be interesting to others. That means you must be able to contribute to a conversation- at a party, in groups, large or small, even on a one-to-one basis. Find out what you really like. Learn to talk about interests such as music, books, movies or sports etc.
Spiritual Graciousness: Snow White
Spiritual graciousness is at the heart of charm. Know and practice the courtesies of daily living. Avoid jokes at the expense of others; avoid gossip and a condemnatory attitude. Forgive those who hurt you. Show tolerance for those who upset you. Generosity of spirit involves giving credit and praise from when they are deserved. Respect the opinions and rights of other people. Treat them the way you would like to be treated regardless of their station in life. The Golden Rule is as important today as ever.
Balanced Emotions: Cinderella & Belle
Perhaps the hardest requirement of all is self-discipline- control of yourself and your emotions. Spontaneously showing happiness, joy, surprise- or even annoyance when you are angered- is to be true to yourself. But to live happily with others, you also must exercise self-control. It is this balance between spontaneity of feelings and discipline or control that you will want to achieve.
Making Friends: Rapunzel
The charming girl is interested in virtually all [good] people and all aspects of life. She knows that almost everyone [decent] can contribute something to her life. So meet and make new friends; don't limit your circle of friends to just a few if you really want to grow.
Good Family Relationships & Values: Mulan & Tiana
Because we are so close to our families, we tend to lose sight of the fact that they deserve the same courtesies we give others [especially strangers]. Too often we expect our parents, siblings, etc. to give more to us than we give to them. There should be mutual respect and understanding within family groups. If you don't think you are getting it, try giving it. It will probably be returned.
Self-Confidence: Merida
If you don't like yourself, if you don't feel your actions, habits or appearance can stand competition, or comparison, you lack self-confidence. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. If you do believe in yourself, there is almost nothing in life you wont be able to do.