In the end, they both need to become more considerate of one another, and strike a better balance between freedom and pleasure on the one hand, and responsibility and tradition on the other.
I think that she should have been more considerate of Merida's feelings, but at the same time, I understand why she wasnt. Queen Elinor was raised as a princess (duh) and princess back then were taught not to have controversial opinions and to do exactly as they were told; I think Elinor was just trying to raise Merida to be a perfect princess by trying to force her to be that way.
^ I agree, and I don't think that she ever intended to be a mean or insensitive parent. She was simply saddled with a daughter who did not fit into her strict, regimented world of tradition, duty, and very old-fashioned notions regarding the roles of women and of princesses/royalty. It was a great challenge for her to deal with Merida's behavior as well as to reevaluate her own life and ways. I thought she was a wonderful, mostly admirable, loving, and interesting character...I too appreciated and felt sympathy for her...
Well, I see both sides really. But I definitely get how Elinor was feeling when her 16 years of waiting for her princess to be grown up, was finally there! If she would've listened to Merida the movie would've been about 5 minutes long.
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