Hi, everyone. BingoPB here, or you can call me Kayla. I answer to both. I have been wanting to share this story for quite some time, but I decided to wait until June, since June is Pride Month. Without further ado, let's get started, shall we?
When I was a teenager, I had a boyfriend, but the idea of having sex never crossed my mind. I felt that sex was not part of love. I mean, there are people who have sex and don't love each other. Saying that you can't have love without sex is like saying you can't have a dog without a cat. I have a dog, but I don't have a cat. It works out just fine. I cared deeply for my boyfriend, but I never had sex with him.
There was one day in high school that I was asked if I ever thought about sex. My reply was, "No, and even if I did, it's none of your business." My relationship with my boyfriend lasted throughout high school, and people speculated that we would get married. When people would ask me about it, I would dodge the question. I don't admit this to everyone, but I really didn't see a future with my then boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter.
When I was in college, my boyfriend stopped calling me and decided to stop seeing me (as he had become a recluse). The last time I saw him was after my grandfather died. He came to the wake, and I let him know that I had no interest in rekindling my relationship with him. It was not long after that when I finally realized I was asexual. I had an appointment with my gynecologist, and he told me to let him know if I decided to become sexually active. I told him, "That definitely won't be anytime soon." In the back of my mind, I thought, I really don't intend on ever becoming sexually active.
The first person I actually told about these feelings was Peaceandlove67 (Antonia). I asked her how you know you're asexual, and she said, "You just know. At the end of the day, you know how you feel, whether anyone else gets it or not." I have since told all of my friends. The first person in my family that I told was my sister. She was cool with it. I later told my mom, and she understood. I was hesitant to tell my dad, because he's old fashioned, and I didn't think he would get it. My sister outed me (when I had planned on telling him as soon as he hung up). To my surprise, he said, "She's better off. Relationships are hard."
As for my romantic affiliation, I don't necessarily reject romance, but I don't feel like I have to have it to survive. I would much rather have friendship. I think it's more important. If I never get another boyfriend, I would be perfectly fine. I really don't want a girlfriend either. Some people would think that I'm missing out or that I just haven't found the right person or that it's because I'm on the Autism spectrum. The way I see it, at this moment, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. The "right person" would understand my needs and desires. Finally, Autism and sexuality are two different things.
Happy Pride Month, everyone!
When I was a teenager, I had a boyfriend, but the idea of having sex never crossed my mind. I felt that sex was not part of love. I mean, there are people who have sex and don't love each other. Saying that you can't have love without sex is like saying you can't have a dog without a cat. I have a dog, but I don't have a cat. It works out just fine. I cared deeply for my boyfriend, but I never had sex with him.
There was one day in high school that I was asked if I ever thought about sex. My reply was, "No, and even if I did, it's none of your business." My relationship with my boyfriend lasted throughout high school, and people speculated that we would get married. When people would ask me about it, I would dodge the question. I don't admit this to everyone, but I really didn't see a future with my then boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter.
When I was in college, my boyfriend stopped calling me and decided to stop seeing me (as he had become a recluse). The last time I saw him was after my grandfather died. He came to the wake, and I let him know that I had no interest in rekindling my relationship with him. It was not long after that when I finally realized I was asexual. I had an appointment with my gynecologist, and he told me to let him know if I decided to become sexually active. I told him, "That definitely won't be anytime soon." In the back of my mind, I thought, I really don't intend on ever becoming sexually active.
The first person I actually told about these feelings was Peaceandlove67 (Antonia). I asked her how you know you're asexual, and she said, "You just know. At the end of the day, you know how you feel, whether anyone else gets it or not." I have since told all of my friends. The first person in my family that I told was my sister. She was cool with it. I later told my mom, and she understood. I was hesitant to tell my dad, because he's old fashioned, and I didn't think he would get it. My sister outed me (when I had planned on telling him as soon as he hung up). To my surprise, he said, "She's better off. Relationships are hard."
As for my romantic affiliation, I don't necessarily reject romance, but I don't feel like I have to have it to survive. I would much rather have friendship. I think it's more important. If I never get another boyfriend, I would be perfectly fine. I really don't want a girlfriend either. Some people would think that I'm missing out or that I just haven't found the right person or that it's because I'm on the Autism spectrum. The way I see it, at this moment, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. The "right person" would understand my needs and desires. Finally, Autism and sexuality are two different things.
Happy Pride Month, everyone!